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People often ask personal questions when they are trying to be friendly. I just don’t want to have to tell people where I grew up or what I do for a living or where I live or if I have siblings or children etc. just to make conversation and be friendly. Many people ask these types of questions believing that people want to talk about themselves. I don’t want to have to give out a BIO just to be friendly. I’d rather get acquainted by talking about things that are common ground - current events, ideas, and observations on the things around us - whatever. I like to talk and I make friends easily, but I just don’t know how to answer when I want to be friendly without answering a lot of questions that I consider personal. How can I preserve the friendly flow of conversation without giving out information when people ask questions? What are specific answers I could give without lying or telling my information or seeming rude, when people ask where I live, where I am from, where I work, if I have children or family in the area, etc. etc. etc? I do not want to seem as though I am hiding something because I am not, I just don’t like having to tell so much about myself just to be nice.

2006-08-19 08:47:53 · 9 answers · asked by friend 2 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

Don’t want to lie because maybe we will get to be friends and then it would be weird to have started out lying. Don’t want to tell them “none of your business” because they are such socially acceptable common questions. I’d like to get to know people through opinions and personality before I start answering specific questions about the details of where I live and work and who is in my family. If we become friends, then I will reveal these things in the natural course of events. When first getting to know someone, I’d like to just talk about ideas and opinions and need a graceful way to avoid the requests for specific information that I feel they do not yet need to know. Imagine: I’m new in town and living alone and I work at XYZ place that closes at 5:00. My folks have passed away and I was an only child and yes, that’s my car... When first getting to know people, I’d like to reserve as much privacy as possible without having to lie. How can I do this elegantly?

2006-08-19 11:59:30 · update #1

9 answers

You are secretive, I guess that's okay, it's just that most people are proud of their families, and their work and like to talk about them. When people want to have a conversation they want to get to know YOU, they already know what the weather is like and what is happening in Iraq. YOU are what is interesting. That said, since you don't want to talk about yourself when somebody asks you a question you don't feel like answering try stearing the question in a different direction (one where you would like to go). For example, someone asks, "Do you have any children?" Then you respond with something like, "Funny you ask that. I was watching TV last night and saw the Christian Children's Fund commerical. Did you know that Somalia is one of the poorest countries in the world?" Someone asks, "What do you do for a living?" You respond, "you know I just read this great book on the working American and how we put in more hours at our job than any other country in the world." See the pattern? Take the the basic idea of their question, children, career, and then use it to talk about an interesting book or current event. Hope you're really well read, because in order to use that tatic, you're really going to have to be on your toes. My other suggestion would to just be honest. "I'm not comfortable answering that question. How about those Bears?" It's not rude, but it's likely that the conversation will end. Why? Who cares about the Bears, really. What they want to know about is you.

2006-08-19 09:10:58 · answer #1 · answered by amyaliceco 2 · 0 0

Well I'm assuming these conversations aren't with people you consider friends or care to be friends with because friends know personal information about each other. That also means these should be social situations but not personal situations and I can't even guess what those might be. Yours is a very strange question, these are just everyday things that people tell each other. I can think of lots of ways to avoid answering them but not without being thought of as rude by some people. Of course if they aren't friends I don't see what it really matters. My general response to people who shouldn't be inquiring about personal things is 'gee i'm thinking if it was your business i would be sure to let you know', obviously I don't care what those people think. I'm gonna have to go with the fact that you don't want to give out even the most generic personal information is a reflection on you and will appear as though you are trying to hide something. The only thing I could really suggest is to answer their question with a question of your own, but it will only distract folks for a minute, they aren't asking for the PIN number for you atm card, just normal everyday stuff.

2006-08-19 09:00:26 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0 0

When people ask you questions that seem too personal simply smile sweetly and say "Why do you want to know THAT?" Then change the subject to something you want to talk about. You're right....it takes time to develop a strong friendship. It can't be rushed, and you can't get to know EVERYTHING about a person immediately.

2006-08-19 08:55:43 · answer #3 · answered by kj 7 · 0 0

Tell people this up front, that you do not want to give out all of your personal information, at first, that you find it tobe none of their business.

Ask them questions, and stop allowing them to run the show.

2006-08-19 08:55:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

perhaps you just have to make up a simple and fake bio for yourself until you get to know these people more intimately.

2006-08-19 08:54:29 · answer #5 · answered by sstooc2001 6 · 0 0

Pretend to be mute or to have a speech problem. =)

2006-08-19 08:57:17 · answer #6 · answered by gillamacs 3 · 0 0

you don't have to answer personal questions specially if you feel uncomfortable about it.

2006-08-19 08:55:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

smile

2006-08-19 08:54:26 · answer #8 · answered by http://www.extremetech.com/artic 1 · 0 0

Say that.

2006-08-19 08:58:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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