I have a 23 year old son still living at home, doesn"t work, and if he does, it is only for a month. He has a cocaine problem, and thinks that he can just quit on his own, which he has tried, but he always falls back to it. I have kicked him out, of the house, but he stills bothers me on the phone with his problem. It is hard for me to deal with all this. I have tried to help him, but he just doesn't want to help himself. By the way, he has been to rehab once, but only lasted 2 months clean.
2006-08-19 06:16:53 · 18 answers · asked by corvettequeen71 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I know from personal experience, the only way your son will really see what is going on in his life is if you cut him out of yours. It sounds harsh and cruel, but if he thinks that he can just keep running back to mom, he will never take getting clean seriously. If you are at your wits end then there isn't much else for you to do. It takes alot to tell your boy enough is enough, but you really can't help him anymore.
If you have the chance, try to sit him down to explain that you will always love him, but you can't "take care" of him if he keeps using. Let him no that if he is serious about getting clean then you can support that decision, but any unhealthy ones you won't be part of. It's the hardest thing to see someone you love ruin their lives, and wanting to help is normal. Not being able to handle it anymore is also normal. Good luck with your son. :)
2006-08-19 06:29:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that, but, with a daughter, who is addicted to Adrenalin! Has to have a 'fix' by getting into a fight with the hubby, or the neighbor, or the mom, or me, at least once each 14-20 days or so!
Try getting THAT into 'rehab'!
But, the only way to save him from himself, is to commit him, or ignore him. He will eventually commit enough problems to get noticed by society, the police, and get into a program, or a jail!
So, just how 'loving' a parent are YOU? Do you love him enough to set the rules, to save your child, even from himself?
Rehab!!! And, you already know all this, you just have very little outlets left for your frustration! DO IT NOW! A stranger might not appreciate having to shoot him!
Remember, children might be the arrows shot from our bows, but once released from the umbilical cord, they are at the whim of the winds!
2006-08-19 06:29:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My heart goes out to you, dear. This is one of the worst heartbreaking scourge a parent has to deal with. I'd kick him out again unless he goes back to rehab. Refuse to listen to his problems on the phone. You might want to try Narcotic Anonymous and/or other support groups. These are by and for people who have been there and are still there. Good luck dear.
2006-08-19 06:24:00 · answer #3 · answered by sacredmud 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't understand did you kick him out or is he living at the house? You are enabling him. Making it possible for him to do what he wants and still have a roof over his head, food in his stomach, and clothes on his back. You need to STOP, STOP, STOP doing for him. Tough Love. Kick him out, and don't give him anything. You may believe that without you he will die. That may be true, however, being with you, he will die. You are letting him live for cocaine instead of living for life. Good luck, you and he will be in my prayers.
2006-08-19 06:27:25 · answer #4 · answered by Boxcars 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rehab
2006-08-19 06:25:39 · answer #5 · answered by joesy617 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant help him until he is willing to help himself. He will want help when he hits rock bottom, overdoes and hopefully doesnt die, or his problem leads him to legal problems. And theres no guarentee those situations will make him begging for help. If you cant help him, then help yourself. Enroll yourself in classes. I know with alcoholism, AA is for the alcoholic and Al Anon is for the family members of the alcoholic. Not sure if the same program applies for family members of drug abusers. You can always use tough love and throw him out.
2006-08-19 06:24:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs professional help. Some type of rehab. If you can't convince him to get help. Just leave him be, do not give him money. Eventually he will need to do crime to support his habit. Which will get him locked up, or judge will have court order to get rehab.
2006-08-19 06:25:48 · answer #7 · answered by NïghtStalkër_666 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can help him Unless he wants to help himself 1st, you have to Stop enabling him, give him an ultimatum, he needs real INTERVENTION, or you will see yourself bury him soon, if someone doesn't kill him 1st. Contact your Local Community, (or ) Hot line for where to take him and get him in a program ASAP...
Good Luck & Remeber Prayer & Belief is a strong thing.
2006-08-19 06:25:59 · answer #8 · answered by Marixza M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call The police when he has it.Thing will get worse if he refuses help.And if you keep him around you like that you will loose everything you have because he will steal you blind to get the money.You have to try tough love on him.Put him out.don't let him steal from you if so call the police each and every time be for it is to late,He will leave you with nothing.
2006-08-19 06:30:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You done what you can for your son. I am so sorry to hear that he on drugs. You done your job as a mother now you have to let him go. Tell him that as long as he is on drugs you wont have anything to do with you. Go get help for yourself. Their are programs out their for family member dealing with family members on drugs. I pray that things will get better.
2006-08-19 06:25:31 · answer #10 · answered by Apple 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋