I met my new husband 2 years ago in his brothers bar. I had just had a baby 3 weeks prior. Right away he was amazing. He adopted my daughter and we just had a son 4 months ago with Cerebral Palsy. My husbands attitude towards me and my daughter is short tempered and he is always in a bad mood with me. He works and I stay home to take care of our children. I take my son to therapy and the dr. all the time. He doesn't show me any affection unless I beg for it, and I am tired of him not giving me more of the attention that I need. He says that he has a lot on his mind ut I do to and I just can't take his attitude anymore. We were wed on July 15 of this year, and everytime I try to tell him how I feel he laughs and gets more upset. Do I need to ask for a divorce this soon?
2006-08-19 05:34:45 · 14 answers · asked by tab 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow! You need to get him to depression observation/counciling!!!
Been there, done that! It is wiser to fix this, than to abandon without making the effort to help!
It is just that he feels the burden of hte world on his shoulders!
Have you two any friends or relatives woho can help intercede?
I bet he could use a hobby?
He isn't rejecting you, he is rejecting the sadness, as that is where he dwells, and does not want to share the burden with you, and that is why the avoidance, and lack of joyful expression (intimacy)!
It isn't YOU, it is that he is avoiding whatever it was, that he has no understanding of, that had put everything into place the way it is now!
Go watch "50 first dates" and put yourself into the place of the behavoral scientist who nurtures the woman... Concentrate on the healing, and the coping, and work on the positive opportunity ahead!
2006-08-19 05:45:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
May as well divorce sooner than later, if that's what you really want. Sounds like he doesn't have much respect for you and that maybe he has second thoughts as well. That's nice and all he's adopted your daughter and that you have a son together, but there is probably someone nicer out there for you who will love your kids too. Have you brought up marriage counseling to him? If he laughs at you about that, then he just doesn't want to try to work things out and you should divorce.
2006-08-19 05:52:46 · answer #2 · answered by animal_mother 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a really bad situation and no communication. Your husband is selfish and insensitive. Under the circumstances I would seek some kind of support group, try to get some counseling and focus my energy on the children and their needs. If he will not go for help you need to go alone. Bottom line is if you are better off with or without him and only you can make that decision.
2006-08-19 05:44:32 · answer #3 · answered by jodie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree. Having two small children and one with a disability can be extremely stressful. I'm sure you feel the stress from being the main caretaker of your children. Try going to counsleing or speak with a specialist who helps couples with children who have disabilities.
You may also want to consider changing the way you communicate with your husband. There is a book called "How one of you can bring the two of you together". I've read it and found it very helpful in dealing with my relationship issues. I would highly recommend trying to find the book at your library or your bookstore and taking the time to read it.
Good luck!
2006-08-19 05:46:32 · answer #4 · answered by speed_goddess18 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest marriage counseling before you give up on it. It sounds like you are both under a tremendous amount of stress and may need an objective third party to help you out of this. Good luck, hope it gets better for you.
2006-08-19 05:41:12 · answer #5 · answered by dmc81076 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly i do think so...It doesn't seem like he's going to come around at all. He's probably tired of you now and doesn't know how else to express his feelings. Just bring up the word divorce and see what he says. Or better yet how he reacts to the thought.
2006-08-19 05:41:40 · answer #6 · answered by MariLin♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I don't think that you should jump into divorce. I think that due to your child's needs it could be very stressful on your relationship... You have to remind him that you are his best friend that that if he is stressed you need to talk it out.... Try talking to him saying "I feel this way when you do this" and make it about your feelings... Hopefully he trys to change because you both need eachother and you owe it to your children to try.
2006-08-19 05:43:20 · answer #7 · answered by Cutie Teacher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him, if he isn't interested in finding a way to fix this problem in the marrage then maybe it is not ment to be with the two of you.
However in any relationship or marrage there are ups and downs and if its not this then it will be something different.
what ever you decide to do you need to follow threw with it .
good luck
2006-08-19 06:03:32 · answer #8 · answered by Not a Daddys Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems a little too soon. I would try talking to him more and let him know exactly how you are feeling. Maybe he will open up if you tell him you really are concerned and need to talk like adults.
Divorce sux... especially if there are children involved.
2006-08-19 05:40:35 · answer #9 · answered by Michael B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop complaining....
give him time....give yourself time....
put all your attention to the children but not ignore your husband...
and all that anger that you are acumulating write it down in a notebook (diary) read it when you are done and maybe youll see a solution or see that there is a wait of energy to get attention for that and that will go away...
2006-08-19 05:44:41 · answer #10 · answered by JTB 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋