I've had trust issues with him before and I'm just tired of being lied to. He always tells me that the reason he keeps the truth from me is because he is afraid it will hurt me more. I've stressed to him more than once that I NEED to know the truth. I'm just so scared of that devastated feeling agian. i can't give up on him.The lies in the past have not been horrible lies, but i always tell him its the fact that he lied. what do i do?!
2006-08-19 05:15:30 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
try to figure out the role YOU play in all this...your "need" for him to avoid "letting you down" all the time.
looking at porn is really no big deal,,,he probably lies because you make such a huge fuss about it.
maybe if you make it safe for him to be honest he might try to be...get his feelings included in this and TALK about it...being "devastated" is a cop out to punish him.
2006-08-19 05:24:12 · answer #1 · answered by R J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was looking at porn because his "needs" are not being completely fulfilled by you (for whatever reason). Also, he doesn't tell you things because he fears your negative reaction. Everyone has some skeletons in their closet. Your problem is that you are feeling insecure in this relationship. In other words, your source of distruct stems from your feelings of insecurity. Ask him to validate his feelings towards you and your relationship together. Explain to him that this would help build mutual security and trust. At the same time, you must also realize that there will always be things about him that you don't know about. When you feel secure and loved by him, you won't worry about such things. Enjoy him just as he is!
2006-08-19 12:33:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay if you feel a certain way, just because he is looking at porn and then he still does it , makes his disrepect your feelings.
If you are okay with him doing it as long as he isn't going to another person in real life then let him know.
The two of you need to sit and talk to one another and get everything out in the open , If the two of you are hiding things from one another then maybe this isnt' the relationship for the two of you to be in.
It may be sad but true.
good luck
2006-08-19 12:26:46 · answer #3 · answered by Not a Daddys Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What should you do? Leave him... If he continues to lie your always going to have a trust issue there. Sorry to be blunt but lifes to short to waste your time with someone who doesn't care about you.. Im not saying it's all him.. But if you can't be open minded and make him feel comfortable expressing things to you with out going off the deep end I don't blame him. Yall need to sit down and discuss things and if not split. Kind of two diffrent views since we don't know the whole story.
2006-08-19 12:22:59 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is wrong with him looking at porn? He only lied because he knew how you would react. If you didn't of it as being a big deal then he would tell you.
2006-08-19 12:22:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Looking at porn isn't that big a deal...but it sounds like you need to move on. Maybe you should see a couselor or thereapist- it looks like you have trust issues. Go find someone else who you can trust.
2006-08-19 12:28:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
whenever my ex was on the computer right before bed he didn't get any sex cause I knew what he was doing. come to find out he was looking at teens/girls not adults so I left him, and I will never date a porn freak again. he will always lie about it.
2006-08-19 12:27:49 · answer #7 · answered by smurfette_ftwayne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you are too insecure to be in a relationship anyway...guys look at porn...it's what they do...u can't stop them but you can feel better about yourself my making some videos of yourself or even taking pictures and giving them to him as a gift..if he truely cares for you then he will enjoy looking at you more than any stranger.
2006-08-19 12:27:43 · answer #8 · answered by Honey Dip 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably using the Porn, and his imagination, to enhance the sex between you two. Get a little kinky, experiment with him. My bet is your sex life will be "kicked up" a notch or two.
2006-08-19 12:27:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
c'mon get over it. its just porn. he looks at porn and gets off. so what. men are visual. that is why they want their women to have a nice butt or chest, because they need something to look at when they are getting sexually satisfied. you don't like porn. ok. don't judge him cause he does. he isn't cheating on you. he is just jerking off to porn. damn.
2006-08-19 12:28:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋