My Mom died yesterday, what do I do now?

Question

Mom died from cancer. She was my best friend and I don't know what I'm gonna do without her. All I want to do is hurry up and die so I can be with her.

Answer 1

{{{HUGS}}} Let it all out. I promise the pain will ease soon. I'm sorry for your loss {{{HUGS}}}

Answer 2

I am so sorry,it's very hard to loose your mum, probably harder than anyone else .
You don't say how old you are,so it's a little difficult to advise you.
But I can tell you one thing, your mum loved you more than you will ever know.The bond between a mother and her child is so strong.
Your poor mum had an illness which probably she had no control over,she would have never left you unless she had no choice.
She will always be with you throughout your whole life,guiding you through without you even realising it.
It's very hard to accept the loss of someone so special to you,but I do know that she wouldn't want you to be unhappy. I'm sure from the day you were born, she only wanted the very best for you and she still will even though she is no longer on this earth.
Think of her often, talk about her to your family and friends, she should not be forgotten, she was special, think about all the happy times you spent together and think how lucky you were to have had her in your life.I'm sure she felt the same about you, and was sad to have to leave you.
The best tribute you can make to your precious mum, is to lead a good life, be happy and true to yourself,then she will look down on you and smile,and know in your heart that you will see her again in a much better place than we are today.
It will take you some time to adjust to your life without her,but time is a great healer and you will eventually be able to get on with your life, feeling happy when you think of her, which is the way she would want you to feel.
Be sure I am thinking of you and your dear mum will too. God Bless.

Answer 3

I am sorry about your mum but I think your mum would much prefer that you stay and take care of other things that will come up in your life. She wouldn't want you moping around either.

Your pain will ease in time believe me (I lost my mum 2 years ago and my dad 4), so I know what I'm talking about. The pain never goes but it does ease to allow you to cope better.

There are people in your life and people you have yet to meet that you will help maybe without even knowing you're doing it. A smile from you to a stranger in a shop could be the saving to that stranger, helping a woman get onto a bus, giving up your seat for someone, little things we do make a big difference to people. So you don't go trying to hurry up and die. You have work to do here.

Take care my friend and god bless

Answer 4

I am so so sorry for your loss. You will never replace your mother and you were lucky to have her as a best friend too. I know you feel like there is no reason for you to live now, but there is. Try to imagine what she would want for you and do it. She will always be a part of you, no matter what. You will always mourn the loss of a loving mother, but as time goes on there will be things in your life that make you happy again. It seems impossible to you now, but someday you will have a child of your own. Share stories about your mother with your child and show pictures. Keep her alive in everyone's memory. My best friend lost her mother 4 years ago. Everytime we talk she tells me something about her mom. At first, all we did was cry when we talked about her, but now we can remember her without crying. Now we can smile and laugh at some of our memories. The time will come for you too. Pray and be with other people that love you.

Answer 5

Within 1.5 months of each other I lost both my mom and dad this year. Up until then I felt lucky that I hadn't had to experience as much grief as some of my friends who had lost a number of people close to them. But now, less than 3 months later, I'm still not sure I have grasped the idea that they are both gone.

I didn't see my parents as "friends" however. Seems the void would be that much bigger. For all kinds of reasons that I wont get into, I spent a good part of my life being angry at my parents - because it seemed easier to blame them than to accept some of the choices I made in my life. It took a VERY long time, but one afternoon after spending some time with my sisters, a 2 ton brick fell on my head and I realized that despite the fact that my parents also did not have any kind of "manual" for raising us kids that we have all done well for ourselves. And while I realize that its both nature and nurture, I believe that the foundation is set probably before we ever step foot in our kinder garden classrooms!

Both of my parents were "disabled" in one way or another. Dad for 20-something odd years. Mom for a very short 5 years. My comfort comes in the fact that they are now up there, healthy as can be once again and are no longer in pain.

It's huge for me to know that, although I still miss both of them very much!

I don't know your religious beliefs or your thoughts on terminal illness, but sometimes the comfort can come from how special your relationship is/was with her and to feel lucky to be able to draw some peace and strength from it.

Answer 6

I lost my father to cancer two years ago. It sucks and is no fun. But life does go on. Make your mother proud by persevering through life. And if you want to, take on a mission, it seems to help. Take on cancer, fight it through some sort of annual fund-raising "Relay for Life" is a big one where we are. "Beat the curse" (or something like that) is another.

The best answer I can give you is to not hurry through your grief. I figured I would be done in about a month. It took longer. And I still have days where I cry. I miss him.

Don't quit. Make your mother proud. Good Luck to you .

Answer 7

Sorry about your mom, but you have to keep living your life to the full. What would you mom want you to do? And you have to think about all the people in this world that did not have the chance to chose whether to live or die. You have a choice so make sure you live them to the full. You need time to grieve as well all do. It will be hard but life moves on.

Answer 8

U need time to grieve. Do u really think ur mom wants you to die. She probably fought hard for her life, she had no control but you have the option of being healthy and living yours. Dont do anything to disappoint her. Get counseling or talk to someone u trust. And do only things she will be proud of. Do something to honor her memory, achieve goals and make an honorable life for yourself she will live through u. Best wishes

Answer 9

You do not want to hurry up and die. Why don't you remember the good times, and get a bench or something to remember her by. I am sorry to hear about your mother. What you need to remember, is your mum was probably in a lot of pain when she was alive, and now she is in peace, in no pain.

Answer 10

Find comfort in the special memories you have of your mum. Try to remember, even write down and read, the times you and your mum laughed together. Try to keep your heart happy with all those good times. When my mum died I felt insecure and anxious all the time and the only way I got through it, as ridiculous as this sounds, I imagined I'd miniaturised her and put her in my pocket. This way she was with me all the time. I'd talk to her about things that were happening in my life and about things my kids were doing. So I didn't feel she was missing out on things.The biggest comfort I felt though was that because she was with me I could look after her and keep her safe. Nobody or nothing would hurt her anymore because she was with me. I'm not a loony - it's just what I had to do to get through it.

Your mum's life was cut short because of this dreadful illness. Try to think of the things your mum never got to do but wanted to and YOU try to do them for HER !!!

You wont stop missing her but it will get easier. XXX

Answer 11

I'm sorry to hear that. My grandmother died in June of this yr & I watched my mother go through a lot of emotions since they weren't very close. Also my mom had a lot that she still needed to say to her. Part of what she did to take care of her grief was to get in touch more often with her siblings who do not live close by, & those who do, they interact more. This has brought all of them much closer. It would help to do this, I think, if you have siblings or any other relatives who were close to your mom. Good luck & I hope this helps.