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MY FIANCEE AND I BOTH WORK ALOT, BUT MY DAYS NORMALLY CAN BE LONGER....SINCE WE FIRST STARTED GOING OUT I AM ALWAYS THE ONE TO PLAN DATES AND STUFF....SHOULDNT HE AT LEAST HAVE THE INNITIATIVE TO PLAN OUR ANNIVERSARY DINNER?? OR AM I BEING SILLY WHEN I GET UPSET WHEN HE HASNT PLANNED ANYTHING FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY??

2006-08-19 03:04:17 · 13 answers · asked by Michelle D 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

13 answers

thanx for teh points.

2006-08-19 03:08:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

Depends, have u always taken it away from him when he has started to plan, that now he has no desire to try because u constantly take over the job????? i know women like this , thats why i ask.. u start out in the beginning always wanting to do it, or taking it out of the persons hands because u think u are better at it, so then the person that was trying stops doing it.. then later down the road u use the fact that u planned it to one up the person ur with???? if not.. then when he asks u what u want for your anniversary, say u want for him to plan the day.. but.. dont be one of these people that either dont say anything and expect alot, just to get ur feelings hurt , cause he's not a mind reader if he doesnt know thats what u want him to do, then how can he do it???? and beware, a mans planning job may not be what u expected it to be, so u may be happier planning it yourself so that ur own personal expectations are met.. men dont view anniversaries the same as women , they do because they think they should they usually dont have the same emotional tie to it that women do.. so handle this one correctly.. and if he does try.. dont get upset at what he does..

2006-08-19 11:23:13 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0 0

Gladly this man is a finacee to you at the moment and not more. Planning things is typically a womans responsibility but not when it comes to romance. Seeing that your finace DID NOT plan you anything special for your anniversary think about it this way:

Remember those TV shows where a husband forgot his wifes birthday? Not only that, but because he did the children didn't know either. So they somehow manage to get out of the house run to the gas station and bring her back pringles??

Are you sure you want CONSTANT dissapointment in your life. But wait & let me guess... not only does he "not plan" he ALSO justifies EVERYTHING. EX. I didn't plan anything because... a) you plan everything and i figured you'd want to b) i figured sense we were getting married and you work so much you'd want a nice calm night c).....

It goes on and on with the way men nowadays JUSTIFY everything they do wrong. Get ready for a fight... and I mean it, you deserve to set him straight... can't let him do this when your married or you'll have a unhappy life.


IT IS A MANS RESPONSIBILITY TO PLAN ROMANCE NOT YOURS, YOU DO THE REST

2006-08-19 10:13:00 · answer #3 · answered by Poestalker 4 · 0 0

What do you want? Do you want to see if your fiancee plan stuff? Your only going to piss yourself off.

Your fiancee is use to you doing the planning now. If you want it to change you need to have a productive conversation with no I did this, I did that. Talk it out. If your fiancee wants to do stuff as you then no problem. If not at least you will know how it stands.

You sort of made your own problem here. You need to talk it out now or do as you have.

2006-08-19 10:31:43 · answer #4 · answered by Mit 4 · 0 0

Who plans stuff. We just do it spontaneously and do what at the moment we want to do. If you want him to plan tell him to plan a surprise for you on your anniversary. If he ends up planning nothing then just pick something to do. Some guys never plan anything. They let their women do it all. If it were not for women some men would not have a social life of any type.

2006-08-19 10:10:26 · answer #5 · answered by T 4 · 0 0

Excuse me, You are a woman, true? With letting him completely off the hook, and then feeling quilty about the fact that your man couldn't even get it together for one special night. Most boys as they become men realiaze what the've been taught from their fathers. That the most important lesson is that women live for these special occasions. An anniversary may mean something to a man also, but most all the others they don't want a huge bouget of love ballons delivered to them in front of all their friends! But we women literally get high on the looks of jelousy from her co-workers when that same huge ballon bouget and dozen roses are handed to them. The way your talking a few more special occasions to you that you let him sqeak through you'll be sending your own self those balloons & acting as if your man is prince charming. Even those men that run out at the very last minute and come back with those plastic wrapped wild flowers they grabbed at the local grocery store is totally unexceptable.Now in the beginning if your man doesn't have a clue you start teaching him then what is expected in a relationship. You have to teach them that it's the thoughtful gifts that matter most. Explain what the thoughtful gift is. That is the gift that he has to start thinking about as the least a couple of months ahead. During those 2 months if he is observant enough, and listens when you talk about something like your day at work, with some thought the idea will come. You both maybe one night be watching a dvd and something in the movie touched you and afterwards you both talk a little about what the movie meant to you. If he was really paying attention he'd be able to think back to the part that you were so thouched with. A moment as simple as that can spark and idea that could keep him out of the doghouse for at least a week or 2. OK, I'm no expert but I see 2 different reason as to why he's making you do these things. #1. This could be his brilliant idea of getting out of the relationship. He might be fooling you and he really could be one smooth cat. He may have some reason that he just wouldn't feel right in breaking up with you, like he could really care & doesn't want to be responsible for hurting you. But think if he acts neglectfull long enough you might start to think he just doen't give a rats ***. And truth be told most women would not put up with this lack of intrest in going all out to make to keep you happy and treat you as his princess. A man raised right will feel like his bride is the most important thing in his life & spoiling her on those special occasions is what keeps him happy also. As Dr
Phil says, "If momma ain't happy, then nobodies happy"#2 could be as simple as you've let him get away with that behavior for so long, he thinks well she obviously will love me even if I just lay here and play vidio games. And if that's the reason he's like a child. When children get everything they want, then they get to a point that they don't appreciate anything you do for them. His problem does sound a little like he just doesn't appreciate the importance of these holidays because you've let him. With having these 2 possibilities I feel you need to sit down and have a long talk. If #1 is an explanation that's just totally off the map then maybe him seeing you feeling scared and afraid hell realize he has been a slacker and will begin to change. But remember, baby steps. One more suggesstion. If you work later than he, and you still have to make sure he's fead everynight, try going home with empty arms a few times a week. Explain you had a really hard day & was to tired to fix dinner. After he goes hungry 2-3 times a week he'll start to get up off his butt and have dinner ready for you. My mom told me, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach! Oh and to tell you something you might think funny. My husband and myself have been married 20 years. Just this morning we we're talking inbetween his trips to the library, we realized our anniversary was again August 6th & for the 4th year in a row we both, and I did say both completely forget. They first couple of times it was kinda depressing but today it's just so pathetic on both our ends you can't do anything else but laugh! I hope for you both that you'll be laughing in your later years too.***Nellers***

2006-08-19 11:59:17 · answer #6 · answered by Nellers 2 · 0 0

Well I would say you should get upset. Keep in mind that guys are guys and not girls, they don't think the same way that we do. We are by nature the way that we are and we have to understand that they by nature are who they are, I wouldn't worry about it too much. The problem I would have with this if any is if he decides not to go on the dates that I plan.
Life is much too short, let it go.............get mad over the big things this is small.

2006-08-19 10:19:36 · answer #7 · answered by Monie D 3 · 0 0

It's a man thing. You do all the leg work. That's now! When you finally say I Do it gets worse. Unless you were blessed with one of those rare male species (and there out there) than start getting use to it. It's for better or worse. Till DEATH do you part!

2006-08-19 10:13:31 · answer #8 · answered by ASTORROSE 5 · 0 0

If you don't like how he acts then find someone else. He is not going to change. I plan everything - and that is fine with me. That way I know it is done correctly.

2006-08-19 10:08:52 · answer #9 · answered by doc 6 · 0 0

No.. Id be pissed off too if I always had to plan everything. I love it when my husband says, hey, lets go see this movie or lets go to this restaurant. its so much better when I dont have to do any work... So yea... he should put his a s s into it and do something.

2006-08-19 10:08:48 · answer #10 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0 1

I would say don't get mad, if you have to plan but he is agree to do what ever you plan, its OK. In my relation when I plan something he doesn't want to do what I have planed....

2006-08-19 11:59:31 · answer #11 · answered by None 2 · 0 0

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