why does every astrologer give different horoscopes when they're all looking at the same stars?

Question

do you think it's all a load of old crap?
I'm an aquarius, what do YOU think my day will entail?
10 points for the first answer to make me p!ss my self laughing.

Answer 1

No it's not crap. Here is your horoscope from The Onion.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18
While you'll incur the contempt of hundreds for killing a man at point-blank range, you would've likely earned the disdain of thousands more had you missed him from so close.

Just as good as the newspaper, eh?

Answer 2

Astrologers read their own interpretation of what the planets and aspects are "saying" to them. I read natal charts and am studying transits. Sometimes I go to a book, but for the most part, when I see a certain 'pattern' and recall that from another chart I have studied, it clicks together and I'll say what it means (to me), and usually I am correct.
I don't try to predict the future, so to say, I more so study the past, for it has a tendency to repeat itself.
If nothing else, astrology has taught me to understand the lessons I have had in my life, this is to make me a better person now and in the future.
Once you recognize a pattern, and you conscientiously try to alter a bad pattern and turn it into a more productive result, then you have mastered the problem and evolve.
At least that is the way that I approach astrology, and anyone of these nay sayers I could scare the hell out of with one look at their chart.


So here is a challenge, post a question to have a natal chart generated. Enclose your birth info. Date, Time, and Place. As I see these questions I will generate the chart and tell you something about yourself that you will have to agree that I would have no idea - other than the planets telling me.

Answer 3

Because they don't actually look at stars, for one thing!
I mean, you say 'I'm an Aquarius', meaning that on the day of your birth, the sun was in that part of the path of the ecliptic in which part of the constellation of Aquarius is located.
Except it probably wasn't! I was born 9th March - Astrologers say I am Piscean, and I could go and buy books telling me what sort of person I am, what sort of work I should do, whom I should marry etc, based on that. But the Sun is actually in Aries on 9th March! That is because Astrologers don't do Astronomy. The Zodiac they use is centuries out of date, and was inaccurate to begin with. All this crap about 'Jupiter moving into the house of Capricorn' etc is based on a geocentric idea of the solar system that just isn't true, and which was disproven back in the 16th Century!
Most horoscopes are full of what are technically known as 'Barnum statement' - so vague, so open to interpretation that people can apply them to themselves and think they are unique. James Randi did an interesting little experiment a few years back - he gave out horoscopes to a class of students, asked them to read them, and comment on them. Most of the students professed amazement at the uncanny accuracy. Then Randi revealed that far from giving them individual horoscopes, he had given them all the same statement, that he had just made up!
It's on U-tube, I'll see if I can find a link

Answer 4

It is not an exact science - some really believe and they study. The others just want the money, so they get all swaiimi-like and try to have a collective bunch of sayings that sound like they are mystical.

Since you are an Aquarius, you are a water sign. However, since you want to pee when you laugh and embarrass yourself, you do have deep psychologically rooted problems. That is typical of an Aquarius as they always just want to have a good time.

Your day will entail going to a friends house and telling them about all of your answers, while swimming in their pool. They will
get a kick out of it and start laughing. Laughter is contagious, therefore you will join in and laugh so hard yourself, that you will pee in their pool. That purple "pee locator" chemical stuff will billow around you like a cloud and you will also obtain your goal of being embarrassed. You will have a good day on your terms!

Answer 5

You'll have a wonderful day today my dear Aquarius, next weeks lottery numbers are written in the stars for your sign but only you will be able to see them, you will be rich beyond your wildest dreams and I will get the sack for telling you the truth and been honest for once in my life, my sun is rising and not were I want it to.

The best way to get your own personal horoscope is to have a chart done, its accurate and is just done solely for you, but pick a reputable astrologer to do it for you OK, good luck..

Answer 6

cuz they all have different opinions just like doctors or lawyers. We arent as good so you will have to look in the paper for the current day. I know a small amt compared to the astrologers. I think God wanted us to have different personalities. If we were all the same, it would be too boring. Theres alot of truth in it.

Answer 7

It's simple ppl look at things differently hence different astrologers see things differently. Today u will check back here to see what answers have been posted that may make u laff. Don't hold ur breath though as it may make u turn blue hehe. Wherever u r whatever ur doing make sure its fun x

Answer 8

Horoscopes are what you read into them not what the astrologer writes. They are all different because they are interpreted by different people most of whom are charlatans. Besides with three new planets to deal with they are all going to go back to astrology school.

Answer 9

It is a complete load of rubbish like a lot of these things that people try to draw you into.
Your day will be completely boring as usual.I hope you find your laugh somewhere but I cant think of any thing funny,I think I m in a bad mood or something.

Answer 10

today you will find true love today, under the sea, but beware of figures lurking in the dark..... for more info on love and money call my hotline on 0800 678 678 calls cost 10p per minute for the fist 12 mins after that £12 a min.
thankyou for reading carrie's sings