to all psychologists, why do a lot of women seem to go for guys that are aggressive and nasty to wards them?

Question

is it because thay think on some unconcious level if these guys can be so mean to someone they love they will be more likely to protect her from other people?

Answer 1

There's something in the female psyche that looks for the alpha male, the leader of the pack, the biggest and strongest to breed with. Unfortunately, in human beings, these traits don't make for the best lifelong partners. So women get what they deserve. If they're smart enough to go for someone who's considerate and will defend them to the death, then they get what they deserve. If they want a self-centred hunk with an IQ of 50 and quick fists, then they get what they deserve too. It's called natural selection.

Answer 2

Actually, the opposite of "opposites attract" is true. Research shows that people seek partners similars to oneself.

My experience is that women don't want something stable when they are young, so they date guys that they find confident, attractive yet are prone to leave. This gives a lot of women the tool to rationalize the situation as the man being to blame, when in fact they knew it was coming all along. Women, like men, want a challenge when it comes to their partner, yet women experience it by the notion of changing a guy while a guy experiences it by dominating the woman. It can be infered that these women are similar to the men, but go about expressing the same things in different ways.

If you see people in long healthy relationships, they tend to be more stable from both ends. Those people also tend to come from homes where things were more stable. And they are very similar.

Answer 3

It is to do with mating with the one that has the strongest genes. To make sure her offspring will survive whatever comes. Whilst they might make a good breeding material they are by no means good as lifepartners. But in this day and age it is not that important to breed superstrong humans as our society allows for people to get educated and have decent jobs, there are laws to protect the weak ones, also, there are trusts and foundations to ensure help is there for the needy, we go to doctors etc...So I don't know why, in the 21st century, it is important for women to have an aggressive, macho male anymore. If it's not her animal instinct that kicks in, it could be the fact that she grew up in a family where her mother was treated badly by her father and she is simply copying that behaviour, because she thinks that is the norm. She will have no real desire to step out of that relationship. There is also issues of insecurity. A woman in an abusive relationship thinks that she is not worth anything and she'd be lost without her abusive men (most of the case it is the result of brainwashing by the abusive man). A lot of us girls, have had experience with a badboy, but some of us are sensible enough to realise that it is such a turn-off in a man and go and find a decent man. There are decent men out there, and women don't have to live with these bullies. They just don't know that...

Answer 4

Men are not honest and from the outset they lie about themselves. Men never would declare that they have previously been violent or aggressive in a relationship, rather they will say things that reflect themselves in a positive light.

Unfortunately for a lot of women, the aggression and violence does not begin immediately into the relationship, instead the male perpetrator will have broken down the woman's esteem, isolated her from her friends and family and then unveils the real him.

to survive, women need to remain in touch with their instincts, acknowledge certain controlling behaviours within a man and run like hell when they are displayed.

Research indicates that women who escape violent and aggressive men do not go on to have further relationships of this kind but violent and aggressive men continue to perpetrate destructive behaviours in their follow on relationships.

Answer 5

at the unconscious level ,it is about the "manliness" or beastiality of the guy!! however sick I feel at accepting this fact, it is true!
Many women not aware of their needs, go in for guys who are nasty and aggressive, because for them this is a show of the guy's maleness!
they have more often than not wanted someone dominant in bed.. and seeing an aggressive male, they feel this desire would be fulfilled!
However some sensible women do fall for the aggressive men, but realise that its just a fantasy which isnt practical or workable and then go on looking for the more subtle man..
And women who have much more insight know it that a man who is aware and confident of his masculinity doesnt need to be aggressive towards a woman!

Answer 6

The women who fall for aggressive guys are falling for the masculine qualities inside of them, which in ancient times would have been used to protect the woman + child, and hunt the mammoths for dinner. Okay, we don't live in caves and go hunting, but there is probably a basic evolutionary instint present.

Answer 7

though i m not a psychologists yet i wud like to give a try on this 1....maybe these women aren't sure of their potentials (like low self esteem) so they are easily carried away by the outward behaviour of such guys, maybe they are plain naive/new in the field of relationships n they haven't got much ideas on decidinginto the correct selecting criterias, maybe they come from a broken home where they have seen their mum being abused by their dad even in this particular circumstance two things might happen either such children end up all alone in life or make wrong decisions in terms of partner selecton, ....

Answer 8

Even though I DON'T agree with this, i must say that perhaps its because of the following reasons:1) It's primal instinct for women to look for men who are potentially capable of protecting them (a.k.a. aggressive guys), so they look for strong men and don't care no matter how their attitudes reek. Ironic isn't it? 2) They are abused by their parents and don't know any other way of living, 3) they are FORCED to the relationship 4) They are just PLAIN clueless. Please, I don't want this to be a living reality to majority of women. SPREAD THE WORD! Women of the world, You ALL deserve SO MUCH BETTER! You are all worthy of a great relationship, with equality between partners.

Answer 9

These men are aggressive and they just don't give up to easy and go away. It's easy to fall in love with someone that you are around all the time and usually these men know how to please a women in bed, because that's all they can do, so they do it well. But these men are good for nothing else and when you finish with them in the bedroom then they are just plain worthless.

Answer 10

Well, of course, we all want what we can't have, and the corollary is that once someone becomes unconditionally ours, we cease to value them.
Thus, in loving relationships true mutual admiration is rare - and usually transient. Generally, relationships resolve themselves into a lover and a loved one. When the loved one distances himself, the lover chases after him - or her (it works both ways; it's just that women aren't so obvious about it).
It follows, ladies, that there is only one way to deal with a loved one who is giving you a hard time - have the guts to walk away from him. If your relationship is worth a light, he'll come after you - and if he doesn't . . . what have you lost?