and doesnt want to loose me and the children. He also says he ended it.How can I believe him.
2006-08-18 21:50:36 · 12 answers · asked by su2b4 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
"Once a cheater, always a cheater."
No, it's not always true, but, for my experience, it's true enough to live by. The good ladies that I pass up, living by that slogan, are NOT outnumbered by the bad ones I get rid of.
Your situation is much different. This is YOUR call. Only you can decide how much you can trust him. Let's not forget all the arguements you have in your future, that started from natural causes, and ended up with you throwing that back in his face again. You'll be tempted to rub his nose in it... A lot.
If that happens, he will leave you. If you find it impossible to forgive him, he won't be able to stay. Find some way to forgive him completely, and keep the occasional eye on him to ensure it never happens again.
Good Luck!
2006-08-19 00:04:54 · answer #1 · answered by 42ITUS™ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all may be able to give u alot of unasked advice but this advices may not be the right ones for u. THe best person to analyse the situation is u. Perhaps have a heart to heart talk with him, and why he went astray. What was he lacking that made him on the other side of the fence. In a relationship, there is always two sides, so the best is in u to investigate and analyse to get the best solution. If I say just forgive and forget then honestly, I am saying it with any consideration for u, and on the other hand if I say dont give him a chance then I am also hurting u without giving a thought to your future and the kids future. Therefore the decision, generosity, anger and responsibility in in your hands, a through search with your head and heart together will give u the best solution.
2006-08-18 22:14:38 · answer #2 · answered by lanks20032003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That IS the problem. Basically, how do you trust a liar and a cheat. Did he end it, confess, and beg forgiveness? Or get caught? BIG difference. How long was it going on? In your heart, what does he want, to keep his marriage? Or, Not pay child support, etc.? What about you? Can you forgive this? Yes, the kids are a factor, but what about you? Unless you can truly get past this, the marriage is toast. Only you can find the right answer for you.
2006-08-19 02:29:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, that is a hard call. How do you know he won't do it again? If they are caught, don't they all say they are sorry. This time he was caught, but now many others you don't know about. I think counseling is the only solution, but cheating is one thing a woman has a hard time ever forgiving. Ask God to help you and show you the right path. Some men are just real jerks, and it is hard to know if he is or not, but time will tell. Just don't take too much time...
2006-08-18 22:00:54 · answer #4 · answered by shardf 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, it's all gravy now that he's done with his affair. Now he loves you and is sorry..what about when he was having the affair did he love you then? I think once somebody cheats on you, that's it. I'm sorry that's so harsh, but don't cheat on me leave me first. If you need him financially, pretend like you forgive him and pay him back. Either monetarily or infidelity. I'm sick of guys that think that after they have the affair you'll take them back and they get away with it. I believe he will do it again. What stopped him the first time? Nothing huh.....................
2006-08-18 21:59:48 · answer #5 · answered by Pam C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're the one and only person who could ever answer that question. Why don't you tell us, what would it take, what would you need from him to believe in him again? I think if you change the approach you will be able to find your own answer. Best of luck!
2006-08-18 22:05:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonyman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lets see...you can't believe him or trust him!! he really does have alot to prove...actions speak much louder than words!!! only you know how much he hurt you and whether or not you are willing to forgive him so just follow your heart!!!
2006-08-18 23:17:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's all good untill somebody puts an eye out.
2006-08-18 22:53:43 · answer #8 · answered by Ironball 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't...he has to prove it to you. He has to build that trust back up.
Now your choice.......
Can you forgive and forget???
Can you look at him and not think about it ever again???
Can you get mad and NOT ever throw it in his face???
Because if you can't do the above.........then just leave....it won't be worth it!
2006-08-18 21:56:02 · answer #9 · answered by rdhedhottie 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
u just have to have faith & believ e him if u still love him urself
2006-08-18 23:59:25 · answer #10 · answered by ur wish is my command 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋