I have been with the same person for 9 years and now it seems to me like there is just no hope-I don't know what to do. AND I have two kids. I can't divorce and counselling is in my opinion a waste of time ( you need to meet thid guy to understand ) I guess I'm f*cked.
2006-08-18 21:08:33 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can't go back ... but you can go forward. It might not be the way it was before but it can be better than it is now. You can manipulate people to change ... by making changes yourself. Check out some books.
2006-08-18 21:22:08 · answer #1 · answered by Sam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The true question is do you still love him? People change over time that is a given. However when it gets to abusive, that is one must draw the line. Divorce has to be an option, if not for your safety but your sanity. Depending on the individuals you may be able to sit down and discuss as two adults. If not about your relationship, at least an amicable solution where you can still be a parent but not a wife. Many people have done it successfully so you are not setting a precendance here. In my opinion, if you dont act now, things will only get worse. Is this what you want to portray to your kids? Be married, happy or not. You are a strong willed individual in recognizing this problem and as such you will come to a rational decision.
2006-08-19 04:47:05 · answer #2 · answered by Gilligan W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is amazing how many couples grow up and apart and want out of marriage. My guess you most likely married young.
You are almost at the 10 year oh crap time. Everyone goes through it. Call it what ever you want be it is the time many reflect at where they are and where they wanted to be. Running away and starting over should be your last choice. Talking counseling and communicating should be what your are doing.
You are not F-cked as you say. You have choices. You need to decide what is more important for all. I said all because you have children. Do what is right for you and your kids. Staying married might not be the correct choice. Only you and your spouse can figure this out.
2006-08-19 04:30:23 · answer #3 · answered by Mit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you are going through. I have been with my husband for 30 years and he started changing about 3 1/2 years ago. He is not the same person at all. I left him in April and I am not going back. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. You must do what is best for you and the kids. It can be just as hard on the kids to stay as it would be to leave. Hang in there and leave if you need to.
2006-08-19 04:18:00 · answer #4 · answered by kb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce sounds like such an easy thing to do. But in the end your kids will be hurt the most. If he has been unfaithful to you then it's ok to divorce him because you will both be living in sin. Not very many people believe that but it's in the bible. Marriage counseling didn't work for me either, but now that I go to service and read the bible things are working out for us. My husband is not as grumpy and is more affectionate with me. My boys are happier and feel confident about themselves. You are not f----d like you said. Think positive and remember we too,are at fault because you know how we can get when things don't go our way. Good luck to you and trust in God that things will get better.
P.S. My intentions are not to offend anyone or you.
2006-08-19 06:36:51 · answer #5 · answered by Wordoftruth 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. I truly believe people change. I also believe you can fall out of love as easliy as you fall into it. But vows and commitment come into play. You feel trapped, stuck, like you're only in it for the kids, sacrificing your own happiness for the sake of the rest of your life as you know it. Actually you CAN divorce, it's extreme but possible. And you can go to counseling without him. Of course it's best if he went along, but you could at least get it for yourself. It might even help you decide where to go next. You're only as f*cked as you allow yourself to be. :) I hope you find happiness, you probably deserve better. Good luck.
2006-08-19 11:18:19 · answer #6 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well when you married him it was through thickness and through the good and bad times through sickness and health. so i guess through the interchanging of his ways or personality stick in there it depends on the love you have for him, you cant say that counseling is out unless you try it.i mean you afre still getting conselling by voicing and receiving someones opinion here. sometimes people get tired of one another and they want their space. or they get so used to one another. but one thing i canj say is dont stay with a person for the kids sake. whether they are yours or both of you guys
2006-08-19 04:30:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
let time decide...just be patient,.if in times they aren't the same person as before,give them space to understand their own feelings maybe they're just get bored with it...if you stop yourself from thinking for awhile and you give them space...time will come they'll miss you and the way you do the old times together...they will come back...they're still the same maybe some slight modifications but you can get it back...don't think about divorce...you promised in front of god that you'll stick together for better or for worse...try to pick up the pieces back...it may seem so difficult but if you love them you'll gotta make a way...remember if you want it go get it...
2006-08-19 04:20:22 · answer #8 · answered by cutiebhaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you honestly believe therapy isn't at all an option, you need to think seriously about divorce. Soon. It is always best to have two happy and involved parents that are divorced than married miserable parents.
2006-08-19 04:16:26 · answer #9 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Focus on the kids and let him figure it out. Sounds he's gotten the best of you. Remember, what goes around comes around.
Why can't you divorce? Slap him with a petition for divorce and see what that does for him.
2006-08-19 04:16:29 · answer #10 · answered by Fort Worth, TX 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋