what effect does fighting over kids have on the kids?

Question

you know for example when mum dumps kids on dad's doorstep when he changes his contact arrangements.. or when mum tells kid that dad is dead or doesn't want to see kid..because mum doesn't want dad to see his daughter.. things like that where the kids don't know where they belong or who really wants them

Answer 1

This takes a very emotional toll on the kids. They start to feel un wanted, and that they just don't seem to fit in anywhere. And most of the time, it is just the parents being selfish, thinking about what they want, and they don't give the kids a second thought. The parents need to realize, that they need to see to the best care of their kids, than fighting with their spouse.

Answer 2

I think about this all the time. My ex does things that are very selfish. For example My ex had her answering service changed because I left them and my kid had to hear this. Then she started riding motorcycles after I filed stating to a mutual friend that she didn't care whether or not my kid got hurt it would be my problem. I sure that there is more emotional abuse that only my child know of. I try not to add my kid into this sickness call divorce. I try to give love ,care and support make a safe haven when my child is with me. Kids are not at fault and should not be put through that sort of hell.

Answer 3

It's ignorant and stupid and people should have more sense than to expose their children to such things. Children should be loved by both parents and shouldn't used as the rope in a tug of war game to get back at each other.

My answer...it messes them up mentally and emotionally and pretty much teaches them that that's the way things are supposed to be and that's probably how they'll be when they grow up and marry and have kids. I mean really how could they not...look what they've been taught!

Parents are their children's first and most important teachers. If a parent cares at all about their child they wont expose them to such things.

Answer 4

Both me & my sis have been screwed up all our lives because of the same sort of thing, violence from first father, mental abuse from stepfather, from my personal experience I felt fear in my stomach and wish our mother had taken us to live on our own, as you can probably guess its made me resent my three parents, to the extent that at times I really despies them for making my childhood a misery, in this day and age things are different and both parents have rights. I think maybe supervised visits would be a good idea, speak to the social services or similar.
Sorry dont think there is any easy answer!

Answer 5

The children need help if Mum is doing this. Someone should be talking to child services about this. This is called mental abuse and no child should have to deal with that B.S.

Get to authorities and tell them this before it to late and the daughter is screwed up for life.

Mum is not a mother if she is doing this to her daughter.

Answer 6

My Mum & Dad divorced when I was 2 I am now 20 & hate my Dad! My Mum never said a bad word about him(she would have had every right to) he managed to make me hate him all by his self! i used to see him about once a year & when i did it was horrible there was allwys something that he didnt like about the way my mum was bringing me & my sister up! he used to send us upstairs & then shout at my Mum me & my sister just cried! We had to wipe are tears away quicklly before saying bye to Dad dreading the next time we had to see him! My Mum decided she wanted us all to move house so we could be nearer to her familly & he threatened to take her to court! Of course it never happened but me & my sister were so scared we didnt want to leave mum we were too young to really understand it all! Parents should not fight especially when your children can hear you just end up alienating them!

Answer 7

Never ever involve the children, it was not their fault for the brake up, so don't upset them.

Children need their parents in order for them to develop physically, mentally, and emotionally. If the bond between the parent and the child is broken, negative consequences can be a result and can be traumatic for a child.

Answer 8

It is horrible for the kids, they end up resenting each parent. In the end the parents are so wrapped up in arguing over the kids they actually forget the kids. Kids then have to grow up quickly to look after themselves and then lose out on their childhood. This then results in the kids being too independent and not needing their parents, so it backfires on them.

Answer 9

It makes the child very insecure and defensive towards both parents. As they feel bad if they don't support them. It is far too much pressure for a child to be involved in a situation like this. The child needs to feel secure and happy!

Answer 10

Its one of the worst things you can do to a chil. Children blame themselves when parents divorce and now they have to listen to fighting over them? Its like you are telling them to choose btween you. It cause great emotional pain and shows immaturitity on the parents side. I dont care if you hate each others guts if you care about your children you will stop the bull now!. Never say anythinh bad about each other where your children can hear it.IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU> Now grow up so your children can grow up healty physically and emotionaly!