im 18 years old, My husband and i just had a big fight because i want to go to college and live in a dorm room he doesn't want me to. he wants me to get an apartment instead something that we cannot afford. am I wrong? What should I do?
2006-08-18 20:51:33 · 29 answers · asked by carissa t 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Why are you hurt over something like this? It's not like you just stepped on a nail or something.
2006-08-18 20:54:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
i can understand your frustration, you are young and want an education all the experiences that go along with college life; however as an adult you have made a committment. Most policies would prohibit your spouse from staying with you in your dorm room and your husband may not feel that absence makes the heart grow fonder he may be of the opinion that out of sight is out of mind. I can tell you from personal experience; it was a lot cheaper to rent an apt or house with other students than to live in the dorms and yes you can do this when you're married. I got married because I didn't want to live in the dorms anymore and my boyfriend said there would be "no shacking up" we wed and I moved in with him and his roommate about a year later when my husband enlisted I moved into an apt with my friends and we shared the bills. money was always tight but when you're young it always is especially if you're a student. In 20 years this will be just a memory and hopefully both of you will have found a way to get through this challenge and many more. You are partners now. I remember my mother telling "No matter how ridiculous young men act they have feelings too."
Best wishes on your journey
2006-08-19 04:27:19 · answer #2 · answered by molawby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all you're hurt cause it feels like he isn't supportive of your decision. Maybe he feels that if you stay in a dorm some guys who stay on campus may try to hook up with you. I'm sure that he's worried about your saftey. On the other hand it doesn't make since to get an apartment and you can't afford it. Sit down with him and talk about the benefits. If he is worried about something happening to you then reassure him that everything will alright.
More than likely this is you guys real big fight. In marriage you'll have your ups and downs. It's best to talk things thru and try to come to a solution. Things will be alright.
2006-08-19 04:10:50 · answer #3 · answered by shinuyugi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you shouldn't be married to begin with, but since you are, neither of you are actually right or wrong. By all means you should go to college and get the education. Living in a dorm, thats a different story. You can't expect your husband to live in one location and you in a college dorm room, that is if you want your marriage to work. Definately go to school but I would think about a different living situation.
2006-08-19 04:01:43 · answer #4 · answered by Stacy V 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No body is wrong is this case. I can feel some sort of immaturity in you people. You are still so young and immature that is why such small issue cause troubles. I dnt know about your husband. Although you are right you cant afford but your husband is also right coz staying together is more important. If you cant afford a apartment go for a smaller one go for a apartment in a area where it is very cheap after all you are married staying together will give all the happiness.
2006-08-19 03:57:27 · answer #5 · answered by ariesaregudfriends 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hello...this is your husband, and you want to live in a dorm? Did you get married because you had a child? Where do you live now? I guess you'd have to work during the day then maybe attend night school. How could you afford a dorm yet not a place with your husband. what is it you want or really desire, i think this is your escape to get away from your hubby, don't you?
2006-08-19 04:01:15 · answer #6 · answered by Cheryl B 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you're in college, can't you get a loan? why are you married at 18? PLEASE PLEASE for your own sake dont have sex yet or use very damn good protection. you will ruin your life and any chance of having money if you get pregnant. dude, if you cant afford an apartment yet then use the dorm room. they cant be that small. and youre going to college to support your freaking husband! dude hes the lazy one and you should be complimenting yourself for taking on such a strong role! take the dorm room because it'll make life easier and try to get aloan and maybe help from family members (financially)
if you need any more help or someone to talk to email me. (my page)
2006-08-19 03:56:48 · answer #7 · answered by ND36 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He probably has some sort of jealous streak...I f you live in a dorm...would you cheat on him? What about all the guys on campus? These are questions that may be running thru his head...He probably feels the two of you should get an apartment so you can be together even while you are in School...
2006-08-19 03:59:54 · answer #8 · answered by fredglendenning 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He wants you to live in a separate place, so that you won't cheat on him living in a dorm with other girls and being exposed to strange guys and stuff.
You have to talk this over with him.
You're crying because you're still very young and going to start college only now. If you were older, you won't be so hurt.
So, calm down and have faith in yourself that things will get better in the future.
Good Luck!
2006-08-19 03:57:33 · answer #9 · answered by blunt_yet_sharp 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the problem is he loves you so much and he can't sfford to think that you'll be separarted with him(even though not permanent). He's just afraid that you'll find someone better than him.You mentioned that he lets you rent an apartment instead of the dorm...I think that even though you can't afford that he is willing to do so for the same reason I mentioned.The thing you can do is wipe your tears and go talk to your husband properly about it. let him understand your point and vice versa...good luck!
2006-08-19 04:00:20 · answer #10 · answered by Janne Chrystyl V 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Prob should have gone to college first, got a degree, then got married. Live in the dorm and get your education.
2006-08-19 03:55:28 · answer #11 · answered by Fort Worth, TX 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋