I've been with my boyfriend for more than 2 years. Our relationship is going through different stages and we've been taking things pretty slow. I mean we do not discuss marriage, kids or anything like that. Maybe because we both still need time before settling down. But, I know one thing and that is that I love my boyfriend very much and I'd like to be with him and closer to him geographically to be able to experience our relationship fully. For the past year, we've been living in separate countries and we see each other about once a month. We're both from Europe. We've had some difficult times together due to the distance but I have learned to relax a little bit more and to be more easy-going about our relationship. He is 2 years younger than me, I am 28. I'm aware that he's still very young and he's a very ambitious person and I have no intentions to stop him from building his career. But, I'd like to at least live closer to him and he has been talking about working abroad.
2006-08-18 20:29:44 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I didn't want to put pressure on him but I also wanted to know if he is planning to move somewhere else, what is going to happen with us? He works in his country now but as I said his dream is to work abroad. I am a pretty open-minded person as I have been living abroad for the past 9 years. I don't want to put any pressure on him, however, I don't want to loose him and our relationship. I sent him a message and I asked him if he decides to go somewhere else to work, maybe I could come with him? and I asked what he thought about it? I know that it is a very hard question and I do not expect him to give me some great answers but I worry now if I made a mistake by asking?
He replied to me and told me that it's a very important thing to talk about and we shouldn't talk about it over a text message. He said I shouldn't worry too much as nothing is done..
2006-08-18 20:30:20 · update #1
G'day Violet,
Thanks for the message.
It sounds like you and your boyfriend need to get together and discuss where you're going.
I don't think you're wrong to want to take things further but it's probably something that needs more indepth discussion.
I hope that the two of you can work it out.
Regards
2006-08-18 20:56:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Violet, These long distant relationship are very hard on both of you.I can understand how it feels.I to have a long distant relationship and he is 3000 miles from me.We to email each other everyday and i call him every sundays(i have a plan with weekends at no cost) He is coming out next nov.2007.So we can be together for 2 weeks.See i take care of my dad,he has dementia if it wasn't for that,i would move where my soulmate is and see if i could beable to take the cold weather.Your b.f. on is reply sounds like he wants to make things work.so you were not wrong on asking him those questions.Just asks him again if he is planning to take you with him.You need to no where you stand in this relationship.Violet,wishing all the luck in the world.Have a good life.
Clowmy
2006-08-18 20:51:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It wasn't wrong to ask, and he was right to say it's not a texting type of conversation. I'm also impressed you brought up going with him instead of trying to convince him to come to you. That's very supportive. I think as long as you can be happy somewhere else, outside of just being closer to him, it sounds like a good idea. Listen to what he says when you do talk. I think if he really can't come up with valid reasons you can't, you may want to consider ending the relationship if you think even more long distance won't work for you. Sometimes we need to make tough decisions in life.
2006-08-18 20:38:12 · answer #3 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you guys should defin. try to live more close so you can spend more time with each other. That is hard to tell if he is the right one when you guys barely see each other at all. You will never know what is it like to actually live him because you only see him once a month. So that wasnt wrong of you to ask him. That was the right thing to do
2006-08-18 20:36:00 · answer #4 · answered by lilbabigurlb123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to be the one to say it...but long-distance relationships only work out like 2 percent of the time. The more you see each other...the more chance you'll have. I wish you all the luck in the world & God Bless!
2006-08-18 20:37:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely not wrong to ask. Especially if you feel this strongly about him and your relationship. If he too feels as strongly, he will most certainly think about it as well.
I wouldn't rush into moving (countries) unless there was some serious commitment. Be secure in your own wants (career etc.) before embarking on a move without being completely sure and secure about both of you feel.
2006-08-18 20:36:44 · answer #6 · answered by halosfan2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm sorry to say that maybe you blew it. If he's moving around and working in another country, he should be the one to invite you to go with him. Hopefully things will work out for the best.
2006-08-18 20:35:18 · answer #7 · answered by phoenixheat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not wrong to ask. But if he wants to talk about it in person, maybe that's better for him. You guys do need to talk about it at some point, though. Good luck!!! Let's hope for the best!
2006-08-18 20:35:40 · answer #8 · answered by ♣Tascalcoán♣ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it was wrong. You just want to know where you guys stand or will stand! I think it is good that you are willing to go as well, but just make sure that you can accomplish / do what you would like to do!
2006-08-18 20:35:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why your question is too detail and very long that people are so lazy to read???
is that a question or a problem??
sorry for not helping because I am damn lazy to read
2006-08-18 20:38:22 · answer #10 · answered by kate lee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋