Have feminism and the sexual revolution backfired?

Question

In the media these days, women truly are sex objects, and men are more openly piggish than ever. Hip hop lyrics and videos exploit and degrade women. Phone sex lines are now called "dating services," with commercials showing hot young women who seem eager to touch themselves- or a man. Now, women are sex slaves- they should dress, act, and shake their booty to get a man's attention; but they can't be promiscuous. Around any other men, she must be a lady, but in the bedroom, she should be a pornstar. The emphasis is still on the man's pleasure. Even with all this, he's still likely to use her, beat her, cheat on her, get her pregnant and leave her... Women have never been so openly disrespected, and yet you hardly hear anyone complaining. Why aren't we fighting this?

Answer 1

I fight it everywhere I run into it, and I'm exhausted. I just got through writing a whole big answers to some moron who was an incredibly ignorant mysogenist. He is so ignorant his question didn't deserve an answer, but I fight it everywhere I run into it.

I don't so much think the women's movement backfired as I think it was misinterpreted.

The first women to be vocal had to be loud and not wear dresses (or even feminine trousers) because feminine women have trouble being listened to. There is probably some biological hardwiring that makes both men and women respond to the feminine-appearing woman in a way that seems as if they see her as either a child who needs parenting or some fluffy adult who has no right to be listened to. So the first feminists came across like men and established that women who imitate men may be taken seriously while women who are feminine are fluffy-headed and traditional. Of course, that wasn't true; but it was the message that they sent.

Women started copying men. They were told to lower their voices if they wanted to be taken seriously in business. They wore suits rather than business-like dresses much of the time. Back in the seventies, breasts or no breasts, they burned their bras and said they didn't have to be "confined" just because they were women.

Then there was the thing that seemed to take hold about sex. If women were the same as men then they must be able to be free with sex the way men are. They were told that being reticent about sex was a hang-up. They were told they should be able to expect the same kind of freedom about sex that men could. The fact that biological hardwiring causes male animals and female animals to have different sexual responses was ignored. If men could act like tom cats, so should women be able to. After all, women were supposed to be equal to men.

Somewhere from there came the thing about women's being able to be free to show more and more body parts. If men didn't need to cover up anything but you-know-what then neither should women.

Women who wanted to stay home with their children were looked down on as old fashioned. Women who were not comfortable being free and wild with sex and their body parts were seen as having hang-ups. Even the rounded bodies of women became looked down on in favor of straighter bodies that were more similiar to male builds. The women's moved had pretty much told men that they should become "fake men".

In ways, what was supposed to free women and get them equal treatment and respect sent out a message that was just as mysogenistic as any that men had sent in the past: If you want equal treatment and to be treated with respect and to be seen as enlightened then you cannot be your natural feminine self and do things like prefer to stay home with the babies you love or speak in a voice that is too high or refuse to be free with sex because you aren't comfortable "doing it" with everyone you date.

Women who stayed feminine were as looked down on as they had been throughout much of history; and women who came along after the women's movement had to decide whether they would buy the beliefs that women had to emulate men to be taken seriously or whether they would remain true to their femininity, which, in reality, does not mean a woman cannot be intelligent, strong and tough. Its just that it is more difficult for the woman who choose not to be a "fake man" to be taken seriously to this day.

What I think women learned was that their power was in trying to be like a man, but because most women don't want to be "fake men" many, many of them adopted the freedom with sex thing while, at the same time, playing up their "feminine assets" because there is a kind of power in doing that as well.

Further, how appealing to men does the woman who has the free-with-sex mentality and the sexy clothing to attract men's attention in the first place? Madison Avenue and Hollywood had their impact, and by now the women's movement had been derailed (or even sent down a whole different track).

And yet, there are still a few women around who refused to lower their voices or be free with sex or dress sexily or else in overalls and boots. There are still a few women who wanted to take care of their own children and do careers around them not in favor of them. There are still a few women who wear skirts and pretty shoes and make-up they think is understated but feminine. There are still a few women who are not fake men, who did not sell their feminine souls to the Marilyn Monroe mentality, and who still have difficulty on a day-to-day basis being listened to and treated as if they know what they're talking about.

There are times when such a woman can ask if it was worth hanging onto her refined, intelligent, strong, feminity with the idea that she might show the world how intelligent and strong a feminine and refined woman can actually be. For the most part and for this woman, life continues to be a private little struggle for equality.

But we are still here, and we are not wearing either flannel shirts or halter tops and spikes.

Answer 2

You've definitely given this a lot of thought and I concur with your feelings. In terms of fighting - WHO? If you think about it - it would be as many women we would have to fight as "piggish" men. A whole lot of women these days BANK on our BODIES. Look what happened when Pink put her music out in her song and video. Truly, all women like you, I and others who feel that things have gone to far, can do is to present ourselves otherwise and raise our daughters the same.

Answer 3

I don't think its really backfired for the entire female population. I do think the acts you are talking about though do make a select group of women look horrible and make them look like sex objects however. For the most part I think MEN NOT BOYS understand the difference. These girls will grow up, and have to explain to their children, or grandchildren why mommy is on a video box called "girls gone wild". Then they will get the point. They are completely disrespecting themselves. But I dont' think they represent the entire population.

Answer 4

I think azaleaeight is exactly right. It's really sad. And it is a really hard fight. I'm fighting! I think that woman need to stick together to fight this battle. We have woman who ARE OK with being subservient, or like Christina Agulera, who say that being skany is empowement. I asked a question on here about other married women who hadn't changed their name after marriage (like me) and got reamed for not being "traditional" and was told that I don't really love my husband. Other women attacked me for that. Thats ridiculous! They must just be upset because we have equality in our relationship and they do not.
Also- we need to show that all women, gay or straight- can be feminists! Why are feminists portrayed as man- hating lesbians? NOT COOL AND UNTRUE!

Answer 5

This is very unfortunate.women must be rspected and veiled so that she becomes an object of desire.If she is avaible like water and food and can be drunk and eaten when you are thirsty and hungry the woman becomes darling of none and an article for all.

Answer 6

Unfortunately yes.
Many women believe that if they are not "sexy" they will be alone.

And I fight it by not buying products that objectify or sexualize women and try to teach my nephew not to be sexist.

Answer 7

hey thats life

Answer 8

This has all happen before. "There's nothing new
under the sun".

Answer 9

What country are you in???

Answer 10

im a guy and i dont accept wat u say ok guys dont do such things in present ok of course men shud be possessive ok don be so angry