Is it really fair to say, wait til marriage?

Question

Im fugging in love with my bf, but its been pounded in my head since i was like 8 "none til marriage"...i've stuck it thru and im 16 now... and im wondering if sex is about LOVE, then why do u need a legal slip of paper to give u permission to do it?

my bf is 20...is it illegal to have a sexual relationship ?

Answer 1

wait you'll probably regret it if you don't

Answer 2

To answer the lagality question - probabley illegal, depends on what state you live in. Some states the age of consent is 16, but most are 17.

Now, to the waiting 'til marriage. Not only is it 'not fair', it's a BAD idea. You need to know if the person you're going to spend the resto f your life with is compatible in all ways. Sexual incompatibility can be devastating to a marriage. Would you wait til after marriage to find out if you like the same music, the same foods or want the same things in life?? Sexuality is 100 times more important than those in a marriege!

Answer 3

I don't know about waiting till after marriage I pounded that in my head on my own, didn't work but i did wait till after I was 18 which I think was the right decision then I didn't fall in love till about 7 months ago, yes I lost my virginity, yes I'm happy I did. I would wait Hun!! Not only that but what if you get pregnant, that's the last thing you want under 18 and pregnant doesn't look good, you have at least 2 more years of school that you should be enjoying. And if he can't not respect that out of you leave him...IMMEDIATELY cuz that means he doesn't truly love you! And yes Sex s about love, yes you will probably have a one night stand most people do, but for the most part it's about love solely!

Answer 4

A slip of paper is not what it is all about. Whoever is telling you this is not very wise. Consider this: Imagine your sex life being just like a piece of Duct Tape(ha ha, funny yes). The first time you stick it to something it works great. But the more you re-stick it, the less sticky it becomes. Now, Imagine that you have met your first time love, and you stick yourself to him. Then, you part and you start over and re-stick yourself to someone else. The more you do it, the less it means. You get my point? When you wait for marriage you save the best for him. Don't be foolish. Marriage is a union between two who love each other and will sacrifice everything for their partner. It is an agreement that the two of you will honor the wedding vows. Unfortunately, not very many people these days honor these vows. Be one of the ones who does.

Answer 5

You are 16, and he is 20? That does not sound like a good idea, legally it matters what state you are in, but seriously you are really not old enough. Being a 20 year old guy myself I can say that he probably isn't looking out for your best interests. I'm not saying that you should wait till marriage, but at age 16 you are alittle young, especially if it is with a 20 year old guy. Think if you had a kid, would you want some 20 year old all over her, I know I wouldn't.

Answer 6

The reason y "not till you're married' is so significant is that most people get married when they are old enough and mature enough to accept the responsibilty that goes along with it. You, goiing by the way your question has been written, sound as though you should give yourself a few more years with this guy and then ask yourself the question again. Lust/feeling horny is not love and has nothing to do with "making love". Sex is just the physical side of things. If you really love someone then waiting is easy because its way more than sex.

Answer 7

Wow, there is a whole list of reasons why to wait. I know, I know, you've heard all the usual ones about sexually transmitted diseases, possible pregnancy and stuff like that, but have you even thought about the emotional and physical aspects of it? How old is the guy? Unless he is a very rare guy, any guy dating a 16 year old girl, sex probably wouldn't be about LOVE on his part. He might say it is, and partially believe it is, but I would doubt it. And, if you asked your mom and older friends ( aunts? cousins? just older friends or whatever ) they would probably be honest and tell you that the first time, it isn't that great. And it doesn't get 'great' until/unless you are in a committed, loving relationship with someone who not only loves you, but is also considerate of your needs as well as your feelings. Boyfriends, sweetie, just usually aren't that 'into' you like a husband is.
Also, who is to say that once he has 'had' you , he won't turn around and get all jealous, thinking stuff like ' Dude, if she slept with me, who is she sleeping with now?' anytime you don't answer the phone or return a call quickly enough? Guys are wierd this way. They can get jealous and posessive in a heartbeat. The love that builds lasting relationships is not based on blind passion.
Sex alone cannot forge a permanent relationship; neither can expressions of affection, such as kissing. When a couple spend their time lavishing affection upon each other, meaningful communication ceases. They may thus gloss over serious differences that can resurface after marriage. Couples need to spend a lot of time discussing different aspects of their relationship before a marriage is to take place.
But does it not help for a new husband or wife to have previous sexual experience? No, on the contrary, it often detracts from marital intimacy! In premarital relations, the emphasis is on self-gratification, the physical aspects of sex. Mutual respect is undermined by uncontrolled passion. Once such selfish patterns are formed, they are hard to break and can eventually wreak havoc on the relationship.

In marriage, however, a healthy intimate relationship demands restraint, self-control. The focus must be on giving, ‘rendering one’s sexual due,’ rather than getting. (1 Corinthians 7:3, 4) Staying chaste helps you develop such self-control. It teaches you to put unselfish concern for the other’s welfare ahead of your own desires.
that a woman’s sexual response also depends upon her having “feelings of intimacy, closeness, and dependability” and upon her husband’s “ability to identify with his wife, and . . . how much confidence she had in him.”

Interestingly, in a study of 177 married women, three fourths of those who had engaged in premarital sex reported sexual difficulties during the first two weeks of marriage. Furthermore, all who reported long-term sexual difficulties “had histories of premarital intercourse.” Research has further shown that those engaging in premarital sex are twice as likely to commit adultery after marriage! How true are the Bible’s words: “Fornication . . . take[s] away good motive.”—Hosea 4:11.Therefore, ‘you will reap what you sow.’ (Galatians 6:7, 8) Sow passion and reap a bumper crop of doubts and insecurities. But if you sow self-control, you will reap a harvest of fidelity and security.

I know it isn't easy waiting til you get married, but I did and I didn't marry til I was 29!! But I am SO glad I waited, I really am. It wasn't like I didn' t have offers and opportunities, its just that I didn't WANT to. Not with someone who wouldn't be there in the morning or for the rest of my life. No, I wanted it to be with someone I was in a devoted and loving relationship with . Its not just a scrap of paper. Its a committment, a dedication before God that you take. A dedication to BE with that person and to STAY with them, thru the good times and the bad, the times of good health and in sickness, the times when you are broke and when you're flush... you know how it goes. Thru heaven and hell, basically, and marriage can be some of both. But its worth it. And its worth the wait.

Answer 8

Let's see!. It is illegal, unless you live in Arizona, men there can have sex with 16y/o girls and only spend 45 days in the slammer! But I digress.
Yes, sex is great (well, most of the time) BUT, are you prepared to bring a child into this world with out a father to help support him/her and do you have lots and lots of money to support this child by yourself because the fabulous 20 y/o that you THOUGHT loved you decided to take a powder when he found out you were pregnant. And are you prepared to work crappy jobs and maybe just maybe if you are lucky enough to have a family to help you out a little while you try and work and go to school so you can support him on your own. DO I REALLY NEED TO GO ON?

Don't let a child suffer because you got in too big of hurry to grow up!
Not to even mention the diseases out there!
If you do decide to grow up too fast, go to a planned parenthood organization in your area and at least educate yourself against the realities of teenage pregnancies and STD"S

Answer 9

If it is pounded into your head, you have your answer. However, I would not recommend getting married at 16. Hmm, sounds like you have a dilemma! Seriously, when I was 16 my raging hormones led me into some bad choices. Just wait (If You
Can),men will always be there to "do", but, you can only lose your virginity once.

Answer 10

Can you imagine you and your boyfriend breaking up one day? If not, then I don't think you're ready to have sex. You've got to be realistic about sex. Too many young females think having sex with a guy equals everlasting love...it doesn't. So just ask yourself, if you go ahead and have sex now and end up splitting up with him later, how will you feel? Will having sex with him make it easier to handle the breakup or more difficult? I can't even remember how many young guys told me they loved me in attempts to get me to put out. Don't let anyone pressure you into it.

Now having said that, if you think you're ready and have proven it by taking steps to insure you won't get pregnant by this wonderful guy that shares your love, then by all means go for it. Has he taken steps himself to have safe sex? Having sex irresponsibly makes you a sad statistic. Good luck.

By the way, how long have you been dating your boyfriend?

Answer 11

He could go to jail for a sex offense with him being 20 and you 16, it is very illegal.