is sexless marriage OK?

Question

A year ago my huband came out of the shower with no cloths on and stuck his.....in my face this turned me off. My actions turned him off so now we don't have sex. I told him just a few months ago i would love it if he kissed my neck and i told him this was a good button to push...he made no attemps. I tried to leave him but he says he loves me...........I think we are the best of friends but this makes me feel like iam less of a women.....but i feel i cause this too...unsure. what do you think?

Answer 1

This is a sensitive subject. Now, speaking from a man's perspective, if my wife told me that sticking my ____ in her face was rude, I wouldn't do that again. But it also has a little to do with how you worded your displeasure. Now, the fault lies primarily, I think, with yer hubby, 'cause if he can't pull himself together, and swallow a little pride by saying I'm sorry, he may never have a healthy sexual relationship with you. On the other hand, however, you COULD tell him that you were sorry for ragging on him about it, and ask him to forgive you. That may give him the hint to do the same. Now, here's something else I would like to run by you-- Do YOU ever initiate sex? It shouldn't be up to the man all the time. We can't read minds, ya' know. If you're in the mood, send him some subtle hints. I'm NOT going to make any suggestions, 'cause you oughta' know him well enough by now . Hope this helps bring back the fire in your marriage. Best of luck------

Answer 2

I think only you can answer this question because you know him and yourself best. Maybe you could live in a relationship without sex, but to me that would be missing a key part of a relationship. Otherwise you're not together, you're just room mates. You don't share a bond, a closeness, no love or passion. Hmmmm, sounds familiar...) What kind of life is that?

Answer 3

Write him a letter and tell him that you don't want him to treat you like a porn star that you are more like a delicate flower. Tell him again in the letter how you do like to be treated. Try to give him as much detail as possible. Like kissed softly and slowly on the neck and then hugged and carressed. etc. It sounds corny but he can look over the note and think about it more with out feelling like you have to explain everything. Plus it will help him remember. Be patient. When you rejected what he did he took it personal and thought you rejected him.

Answer 4

I am experiencing the same thing, but with the difference that I have never rejected him at all. And I agree with you ...makes me feel like a less of a woman, like there is something wrong with me, self esteem...which one???. but there is much more to the story than just that. So I would recommend you try to give him some of those vitamins that I see often on the gas station, I see young man try them, so I guess they work? I don't know but my deepest sympathy to you.

Answer 5

i'm sorry for you because you were not ready for oral sex it sounds like.is he gone out at night?a lot. he needs to know you didn't come from a family that did this.you don't go from 0-to-60 right off the bat. it dosen't make any differance if he does love you he just dosen't want to be alone. to bad there is someone out there that will love you for who you are.life is to damn short to waste it on him eather come around or i'm gone.........i'm 67 and life just picks up speed as you get older. the years just get shorter then you wake up and your old and you wasted it on the wrong guy. sex is inportant to start but as you grow older you just don't care anymore iv'e been married 42 years and my wife is my best friend.it's been 19 years since sex because of female problems made both of us hurt so what i still love her with just a kiss. I would get out . put your foot down and tell him shape up or ship out. you sound like a nice person buck up and listen to your heart . good luck

Answer 6

I will admit that is a silly way to ask for oral sex. HOWEVER, how did you let him know you were dipleased.

And how old is he that he has NOT grown up from a high school request?

Talk it over take him back to that day and calmly explain how you felt. Tell him you enjoy him and would like to continue with the sexual aspect of your marriage.
Best of luck

Answer 7

Well, just because he is your husband certainly doesn't mean that you have to be turned on by everything he does. This was a year ago for goodness sake...he is being ridiculous!

I think what he is doing is emotional neglect. He isn't even trying to give you what you need all because of one small incident.

Please don't blame yourself. It isn't your fault that he can't let go. I would tell him that he needs to start being more affectionate or the two of you need to go to marital therapy. Good luck to you!

Answer 8

Get dirty with him he is your husband if you weren't mad at him when he came out of the shower you should have sucked his shfangis. the more you nag the less he will want sex, I'm sure you want him to accept you for exactly how you are so accept him for exactly who he is and not what you want him to be, it is healthy to have sex make time for it, i am the aggressive one in our relationship he is 20 years older than me. I think his libido slowed down, make an effort to be with him don't make him do all the work. guys are stupid, if you were doing something kinky with him i bet he would kiss your neck, he probably feels the same way, and he thinks you are not attracted to him

Answer 9

If you're not happy then, no, it's not ok. Talk with your partner that sex is a vital part of the relationship, & your not satisfied & he needs to kick his game because it's killing the marriage & you can't go on unhappy forever waiting for things to get better, if you don't see him changing, then up to you, but I wouldn't hang around. Good luck...

Answer 10

Counseling