I have been having problems with my husbands drinking.I asked he to move out.He packed his things.But my 8 yearold cried his self to sleep.He said he wanted to stay to keep from hurting his son.He told me today he was going to work on his drinking.He started drinking on his way home from work.He told me at 9 pm he was going to get the kids a hamburger.It is now 1:32 am.He has turned off his phone.I went through the same thing 2 years ago.Then he was on crack.Should I let him back in the house?
2006-08-18 18:35:00 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No. Not until he can prove he's clean. And you my dear, need to get to AlAnon and NarcAnon--if you can't do it for yourself, do it for the kid. My heart goes out to you.
2006-08-18 18:40:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. It's time for a little tough love sweetie. He's doing it because he can and he just threw your son in as his reason why. It's pathetic that he's stooped to such a low, but it's a red flag. Good people don't use their children as pawns to tug at your heartstrings. He knows you'll put up with just about anything as long as your son is happy. The next time you see your husband, well, when he's sober actually, tell him he's done. He made his choice and there were consequences to his decision. Lay down some ground rules when it comes to him seeing your son and then if you love him and want to make this work, tell him to get into AA. Tell him this is a deal breaker and either he gets help and the two of you work through this together, or you're done. Then, when hubby isn't around, have a heart to heart with your son. Kids nowadays are well versed on drinking and drugs through the school systems. In the easiest way you can, explain to your son that daddy is sick and needs help right now. Reassure him that you love daddy, and daddy loves him, but that daddy is going to get some help before he hurts himself. Then tell him he still gets to see daddy, but daddy can't stay here just yet. Kids will adapt to anything as long as it makes sense in their minds. Be strong honey...you are facing an uphill battle.
2006-08-18 18:49:01 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. I am a product of the same type of crap. Only difference is, my dad went through the therapy for a year, living out of our house. Then my mom took him back, and the same crap happened again. It was hell on my brother and I. Crying for him only to have him come home and fight with my mom some more. I would say don't give him the chance. Move on while your son is young, and you are young, and have lots of time left to build something. However being a woman now I understand love. If he is willing to change and shows you that change then by all means feel great about giving him another chance. Some people can change. But if he goes back to his ways then please move on with new ones of your own. Good luck with all you have in your path right now. It's not an easy road for sure. You are a strong woman.
2006-08-18 18:44:31 · answer #3 · answered by Nikki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No , u shouldnt, unfortunately people that have a substance abuse problem have to hit Rock bottom before they will get help.. and although i know its hard on your son, but whats better for him to have a male role model that is an alcholic??? i doubt u want ur son growing up thinking that relying on any substance in order to be able to function is a good thing.. how long do u wait? till one day he actually hurts ur son.. possibly drunk driving, or he passes out at a time that ur son needs him??? If u love your child, then u need to protect him from all harm, and right now your husband is putting ur son at risk everytime he drinks uncontrolably.. tuff love is the only way to go with this situation.. good luck..
2006-08-18 18:45:47 · answer #4 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him to the curb! Sounds, like he has some serious issues, do not let him back into your house until he has been clean for 2 years. I sure don't hope his initials are MC, because my best friend went through this same behavior years ago, and he would say he was going to get milk for the baby, and show up 3 days later. Stoned out of his gored. You need a good friend that can help you through this with you. You need to talk to someone and get help also, you have your children to worry about, their mental health is what is important with the age of your one son, he is well aware of what is going on, and he will end up developing the same behaviors later in his life.
Call ALAON it is a support group for AA.
2006-08-18 18:43:27 · answer #5 · answered by lilbitevil2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother went through the same thing for 7 whole years. People like this wont change for the better, but most likely the opposite. Keep him out now before it gets worse, for the protection of you and your son. Your son is only 8 so he probably doesnt fully understand whats really going on and how much pressure your husband puts on you. Yes, he will probably be upset for a long time, but one day he will understand. Be careful, stay safe, and I wish you the best.
2006-08-18 18:43:13 · answer #6 · answered by jessfaye05 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes you should. the problem is not only drink but also he is your husband. he is failing to fight in this race alone so you are the best person for him to help him in this regard. i dont know whether you honestly tried to help him or not. but main thing is you need to have passion and help him and do the hard work. dont just depend on him by saying you go to counselor and work on your drinking problem. if he cant leave drinking at once reduce the dose day by day. and it requires high determination and hard work. get ready to help him if you really love him, love the family and want to be together .
i wish you good luck.
2006-08-18 18:43:09 · answer #7 · answered by Deepthoughts 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hes having a last all night bender. Lock him out, go to bed & ignore him completely when he stumbles in. Disappear for the day tommorrow, once youve calmed down it will be easier to decide.
2006-08-18 18:42:18 · answer #8 · answered by Ashley 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs help, professional help,like a rehab or something of that nature, there's no way he can do this on his own. So unless he is willing to get real help don't let him come back. He'll see you mean business and if he is serious he'll do what ever it takes to get right.
2006-08-18 18:52:07 · answer #9 · answered by puertoricout 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if you do let him come back are you going to be happy? and if you think that you want to work things out with him then you should make him promise to go to councelling..i would also tell him that hes not moving back in until he can prove to you that he loves you and your son so much that he is willing to give up something stupid like drinking for you..he should want to do that for himself as well as for you and your son..why people let drugs and alchol consume their lives is beyond me..but you should tell him that theirs so much more to life than what he is doing..i would also suggest getting him to church or atleast praying..it sounds like he needs to ask god for help because he cant do it on his own..god is the answer
2006-08-18 18:48:39 · answer #10 · answered by lonely heart club 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He broke a promise ... you break his thumbs! LOL
I would give up on him. He HAS to want to help himself 1st, and it doesn't sound like this is the case. Sorry. I was with a boy for 8 years that abused drugs and I much as I tried to help him, he didnt want to help himself. Cest la vie.
2006-08-18 18:42:27 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋