I broke up with my girlfriend of 8 years---Rather she dumped me for another guy she is not even seeing anymore Problem is she was 12 years younger than me and beautiful. I caused it by not paying enough attention to her but she was sooo immature for 34 I didn't like her company sometimes. Now I just obsess over her. She still talks to me but won't see me. It has been 5 months and she is all I can think about. I want to just end it sometimes-----------HELP! Another problem is my company closed at the same time and I had to find a new job (double wammy) and worst time of my life. I'm depressed--any advice?
2006-08-18 18:02:35 · 13 answers · asked by Fan Man 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are crisis centers you can call to get help with your distress. This is a very delicate time for you. It is important that you get some type of couseling. It is important that you try, it'll be hard, but try to think of all the good moments of your life. If you need more support, call family members who you feel will understand. If remembering the good moments turn out to be too painful, then remember all the stuff she did to piss you off and think of it as an improvement in your life that she is gone.
Don't feel guilty over someone who couldn't commit. Don't beat yourself up because she had the need to flounce around. Yes, maybe you should have been more attentive, that's neither here nor there now. I would like to invite you to visit my 360 page, read the poetry I have there. Maybe it will lighten your mood. I really hate to see anyone hurting as badly as you are right now.
It's good that you're reaching out. Know that you have people praying for your mental and emotional strength and health.
2006-08-18 18:19:40 · answer #1 · answered by *~*~*~~~His Angel~~~*~*~* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming you found another job? If not, why not focus your energy on finding a job? You say she still talks to you but won't see you. She talks to you because you let her. Because your available to her. I really don't think this girl cares for you. 5 months is a lot of time to waste on obsessing about someone who seems to have moved on with her life. Find some interests or a hobby you enjoy. Read a good book. Try something new. Find some females to hang out with as buddies. Do something
Maybe you should see a therapist for your depression. That could help a lot.
2006-08-18 18:13:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've had 2 really hard things happen to you!
Normally you'd go to your girlfriend for comfort over your job loss, or throw yourself into work to forget her.
My son got dumped by his girlfriend, and someone told him to read the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". I haven't read it myself, but apparently it really goes into the different ways men and women think and communicate. When he read it, he said he could see all the things he'd done wrong. The girl didn't even want to talk to him anymore, or listen to his apologies, but it helped him learn how to do better when he met a new girl. They got married and are very happy together!
Stop thinking about the past--even if the girl would have you she sounds like a real jerk--and she's jerking you along, still talking to you but not seeing you. Start making plans for the future. If you haven't been able to find a new job sign up to do volunteer work. It'll give you something to do, people to meet, and you may get a good reference out of it!
2006-08-18 18:14:28 · answer #3 · answered by Plain and Simple 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let time pass. You two have had such a loooooong relationship. You dont have that same person to depend on anymore, so it's really hard. It's normal to have those feelings for someone especially because of the length of your relationship. I would go out and try to meet new people and make new friends. Focus on your career right now. It probably will be awhile from now before these feelings pass. Everthing takes time though.
2006-08-18 18:12:21 · answer #4 · answered by jessfaye05 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate! It took me a long time to get over my last broken heart. You just have to live with it until your heart and mind adjust to the change. The best thing I'd say you should do is be kind to yourself. It really does get better. I'm so sorry you have to feel it. It sure sucks. And as soon as you're ready, get out. Check out a local pub with music. You'll make new friends and that will help divert your attention from the pain.
2006-08-18 18:12:00 · answer #5 · answered by I Wanna Know 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you made a boo boo by not paying her enough attention. Ladies are like flowers, if u take care of them they will "bloom" lovely for you but if u neglect them they will wilt away (leave u). You should have just talked to her and told her that u didnt like her immature ways. But, if she has someone else then u have to move on. Just let this be one of life's lessons for you. Next time you fall in love...... shower her with attention. Women love that!
2006-08-18 18:15:57 · answer #6 · answered by Hilllbilly_gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well boo-f*****g-hoo for you. You can listen to the blather the others are telling you, OR, you can shut-up, move out of town, get a good job and LIVE. It ain't a sin to be happy but it IS a decision. So grow a set and for heaven sake stop acting like a damn woman.
2006-08-18 18:17:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like you never realized how important she was to you until she was gone...
but, i suggest leaving her alone. unless she dying to have u back, move on because if u really love her like u say, you'll want her to be happy, and honestly, i don't think having an older man bang on Ur front door is happy, but i DO wish u the best of luck!
2006-08-18 18:12:18 · answer #8 · answered by Scooby Doo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first off you need to ask yourself if you really love this girl or is it a case of wanting what you can't have... If its the previous id say call her up and ask if she would meet you for drinks discuss things and tell her how you feel... Be honest and open good luck...
2006-08-18 18:44:28 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u have go 2 anywhere 2 relax then move from ur place maybe when u move u'll find another girl and i think if u told her abt ur moving that will appear if she still luv u back or no
good luck
2006-08-18 18:12:27 · answer #10 · answered by amazing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋