im taking care of my sisters kids and they are the worst dont fet me wrong i love them but they've been living in my house 4 a month i havent gone out and because my parent have money issues i punish my self by not going out so that i wont be another reason for money loss but i cant get a job because of the kids ... my sister just had her 5th C section so she need her rest but for a whole year i havent been able to so anything for my self because of my sister and her kid and i know that i should probably talk to my parents but id feel guilty becuase they are the best parents i could ever ask for ... what can i do ??? im really stressed and and the funny thing about me doing all that is the no one ever asked me they just dumped it all on me with out atlest letting me voluteer my self... S.O.S
2006-08-18 18:00:00 · 7 answers · asked by alex 13 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is your fault. You have to do what is best for you and don't let other's problems get in the way or your happiness. Do what you can to help, but when helping becomes too burdensome emotionally and financially, then you are hurting yourself and resenting the good deed. You need to ask for help and if your family is so wonderful, they will understand. If they don't understand, it is not your place to have to deal with their issues. You have your own life too and there is only so much you can do. Don't feel guilty. Stand up for yourself!!
2006-08-18 18:08:13 · answer #1 · answered by just julie 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You will need to sit everyone down who is involved in this situation, and explain to them how you feel...BUT...do it nicely and politely.
Tell your parents and your sister how much you love and appreciate them, and how you really don't mind helping out with the kids...OCCASIONALLY.
Explain to them that you love your nieces/nephews very much, but that you feel you really need more of a break, so you can pursue some of your own interests and maybe hang out with your friends a little more. Then tell them that you hope they can understand your feelings.
If your parents are as wonderful as you say, they will probably be just fine when you tell them how you feel. My guess is, that no one has even realized just how burdened and stressed you have been feeling from having to help out with the kids so much.
Your sister's job is to be the mother...
and your job is just to be the aunt..
not the mother's helper.
Good Luck~*
2006-08-19 01:14:46 · answer #2 · answered by DG 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nobody likes to feel as though they've been taken advantage of.You should have been asked to take on the responsibility of taking care of your sister's kids, but you weren't. Now that we are clear on that...You can either accept the responsibility and help your sister out during her time of need, or you can tell your family this responsibility is just too much for you to handle.The decision is yours,but just remember that there might come a time that you will need the help of your family and I'm sure you would expect them to give their help unconditionally. Family and love go together, and so does help and unconditional love. Now that you've complained, feel bettter and help out those terrific family members that love you.
2006-08-19 01:19:10 · answer #3 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As much as I sympathize with your situation, I'd like to know what in the world is wrong with your sister? Has nobody taught her about birth control? The idea of having more kids when you can't take care of the ones you have is truly disheartening. I know you aren't going to want to hear this, but you are going to have to sit down and have a heart to heart with mom and dad. It does't have to be negative, I wouldn't recommend whining. I'd just simply tell them that although you love the children, and want to help out, you can't be expected to make it a lifetime committment. Tell them you aren't the mother here and you don't want to be selfish, but you also don't want to give up your life for your sister's mistakes. You said they were great parents honey, they are going to understand. If it were me, I'd throw in some advice about enabling your sister to continue her lifestyle, but you don't come across as that blunt. Pull at their heartstrings a little. I'm sure they already see what is going on. Oh, and in case nobody has told you this....you are really doing a great thing by helping out. Not only does it show your maturity level when you set your own desires aside, but it also shows a great amount of responsibility, dedication and loyalty to your family. I don't see that too much anymore in this day and age.
2006-08-19 01:13:25 · answer #4 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You obviously care, but the attitude of the others is selfish. You are doing a full time job without pay and most likely without thanks. I can only suggest that you lay it out for them tactfully. I cannot say what may result, But I wish the best for you.
Your sister is a different matter. Suggest a hysterectomy or, if this sounds too harsh,when she has her 8th child, get her to sew up her partner's pyjama trousers front. They say that a stich in time saves nine.
Rose P.
2006-08-19 01:14:23 · answer #5 · answered by rose p 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
come on really do you really want me to answer this question , i mean you are to nice those kids really need you, you are their angel sent from god , really you are doing a good thing , and as for your sister she needs to stop having kids,, take care ...
2006-08-19 01:11:05 · answer #6 · answered by E.M. 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
no you are very nice,because your heart is very nice,you should help others,but take care of yours self too.because its good for your health.
2006-08-19 01:09:54 · answer #7 · answered by saman f 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋