plainly my wife of ten years,dosnt love me.She has been cold,resentful and just cruel.She says it is because i gambled heavilys increasing,the first 5 years of our marriage. I havent gambled in 2 years. Yet the resentment is increasing. six weeks ago i discovered she was having a "emotional " affair. I dont know what to believe.we are still together because of obligations to our bussines we run together,our daughter etc..she says the affair of 4 months is over. we are trying marriage counselling. I am reading various books, I am trying,She says that she may never get over my addiction to gambling. And the lying , the time i spent at the casino all the stuff that goes with attempting to hide a addiction.She wishes i had cheated on her with a woman. She says she could probably get over a affair. I just dont get it? She wasnt this upset when i was.. why is this all coming out after i have proven in the last two years that i dont gamble,how do itrust her now? im so confused,tired of it
2006-08-18 17:45:20 · 10 answers · asked by bdj 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
when you gambled you two got alone fine, right? Now you don't an you fight all the time? As I see it you aren't the same man she married, you changed for her an now she doesn't like the new you.
She doesn't love you anymore, she even had an affair to show you that.
Get out of the marriage before you hate her. And find someone that loves you for who you are.
2006-08-18 17:57:43 · answer #1 · answered by Jim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is trying to make you feel bad to make her emotional affair not such a big deal....and it's working. Often when someone does something wrong that they can't justify, they shift blame to get out of the hot seat. Had you not have had a gambling problem in the past, her affair would be in the spotlight. Taking your gambling issue out of the closet is a defense mode honey and nothing more. I do, however, think there is more to this. Just from the way she treats you and the fact that she had an emotional affair. This will all eventually come out in counseling and hopefully, with time, things will get better between the two of you.
2006-08-18 18:02:54 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you both need to see counselors. Try getting her to go with you to GA for Gamblers which is like AA for drinkers. I feel sorry for her, I know what my mother-in-law endured for years with having a gambler and scammer, always thinking this one will pay off. It is a very lonely life you gave your wife to lead. You have to work together. But, if she isn't really willing, and continues to have affairs, be it emotional or physical I don't think your realtionship holds much hope of staying together. DON'T STAY TOGETHER just for your daughter, that will lead to her thinking marriage is suppose to be unhappy and miserable. She might need to be in the counseling with the two of you. You talk about how do you trust her now, how did you feel when you were lying to her all the time with your issues? You have had two years, but you have given her 4 months? You aren't being very reasonable about this are you? You put your family at risk with your gambling and that is something that no woman wants to face. At least with you having an affair, she had someone she could actually deal with, with a gambling habit, she doesn't have anything solid to face. Except not having money for your future and bills. Good Luck!
2006-08-18 18:00:53 · answer #3 · answered by lilbitevil2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she wants to cut you loose so that she can continue cheating or pursuing other men and that she is using your past gambling as an excuse to give you the boot. It takes two to make a marriage work and it sounds like you are doing all of the work. I would advise you to file for divorce. She's not in any position to judge u since she was unfaithful to you.
2006-08-18 18:04:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too bad. She might be having an affair.
2006-08-18 19:02:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is trying to keep you in the dog house, because she feel bad about what she did. Its the blame game, if she keep the focus on you it makes her seem good. I hope that makes sense.
2006-08-18 17:52:42 · answer #6 · answered by SS84 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have seen that behaviour before, it only gets worse, like a runaway train
2006-08-18 17:50:54 · answer #7 · answered by Iron Rider 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she wants a divorce to get another man.
2006-08-18 17:51:29 · answer #8 · answered by erk m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
http://www.barbaradeangelis.com/advice.asp
2006-08-18 19:03:51 · answer #9 · answered by jimrich 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do bad all by yourself.
2006-08-18 18:15:23 · answer #10 · answered by NC_Pianist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋