I'm absolutely miserable. I feel hopeless and lost. He cheated on me and accusses me of being selfish and inconsiderate. But he's a good father and he still can make me laugh. I don't want a divorce, but I think I need one.
2006-08-18 17:39:06 · 8 answers · asked by amyaliceco 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, you'll be glad to know filing for a divorce is the first step in getting back some of your
self-esteem and self-respect. By doing that, you are opening the door to healing for yourself...which is exactly what you need right now.
Of course your husband is going to tell you that you were being selfish and inconsiderate...
I mean what else can he really say after having cheated? That's a typical male response.
The fact that he is apparently trying to make his adultery your fault somehow, should show how very little your feelings matter to him. You need to see that he's just adding insult to injury.
If you tolerate this now...who's to say that he won't do this to you again? You could be kicking yourself a few years down the road if he does the same thing again.
You need to ask yourself...would he be forgiving of you, if you were the one who cheated? Or how would he like it if you cheated, and then you accused him of being selfish and inconsiderate?
He doesn't have to be married to you to continue being a good father, and you can always find someone else to make you laugh...hopefully someone who cares enough about you as a person to treat you with the love and self-respect you deserve.
Good Luck~*
2006-08-18 17:57:17 · answer #1 · answered by DG 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Develop an exit plan. Where are you going to stay? Which car are you taking? What about money? And who's gonna pay the bills while you two are seperated and waiting for the divorce to be official. Will he volunitarily pay child support or will you have to take him to court to get a seperation agreement in place. What happens to the credit cards? What happens to the investments and savings accounts. Are these accounts joint accounts? Who's name are the bills in and are they gonna be switchd into another name when someone moves out. Who's name is the telephone bill in? Cause that is a bill that could sky rocket after a seperation.
Just some things to think about.....Good luck!!
2006-08-19 00:53:19 · answer #2 · answered by Tony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a good candidate for couples counseling. Whether or not you decide to get a divorce, you will still have a continuing relationship with the father of your child. Counseling will help you both learn to communicate with each other.
2006-08-19 01:29:17 · answer #3 · answered by rollo_tomassi423 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is a question to ask yourself. Are his accusations, his way of getting rvenge on you for finding about about the affair? Is he trying to deflect some of the guilt by theses accusations? Do you want to stay with him?
No that I have clouded the matter here is my take.
No one and I mean NO ONE wants to get a divorce! What we want is to get out of the situation we are in. But deep down you have to find happiness and that might mean getting out of this situation. I like what someone else said he can still be a good father married to you or someone else, that will be his choice.
But do you want your child to see your life as one of disappointment in your spouce or strength that you could go out on your own. Trust me the kids will find out in the long run about the affair. You have to show that you suuport your childern NO MATTER WHAT!
Best of luck, it sounds like he really screwed up.
2006-08-19 01:08:06 · answer #4 · answered by ferretcoach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that bad maybe a divorce is the only way for you
2006-08-19 00:47:36 · answer #5 · answered by Iron Rider 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's natural to feel conflicted - this is a huge change for you. I wish you all the best - things will get better as you move forward.
2006-08-19 01:07:41 · answer #6 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just get a divorce and become a miserable statistic. HAHAAH!!!
2006-08-19 01:01:58 · answer #7 · answered by Lothario 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happens now is that you're making new changes and that you realize you can do better.
2006-08-19 00:48:02 · answer #8 · answered by azngurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋