I'm not happy in my marriage what should i do?

Question

ME AND MY HUSBAND BEEN MARRIED FOR ALMOST TWO YEAR, I LOVE HIM I THINK. BUT EVERYTIME WE HAVE SEX OR KISS THE FEELING I USE TO HAVE ISN'T THERE ANYMORE. YOU KNOW THAT TINGLE OR I CAN'T WAIT FOR HIM TO COME HOME FROM WORK FEELING. WE DON'T GO ANYWHERE, HE DON'T ROMANCE ME,I HAVE TO BEG FOR SEX. I AM TIRED OF CRYING, AND I AM STRESSING OUT BEHIND THIS CAUSE IT FEELS LIKE HE DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE. THE ATTENTION IS NOT THERE AND I HAVE TO ASK FOR QUALITY TIME WHICH I STILL DON'T GET. HES 36 AND I AM 23 WE BEEN TOGETHER FOR ALMOST FIVE YEARS AND BEEN MARRIED FOR TWO. ALSO WE DO HAVE A TWO YEAR OLD TOGETHER. WHAT SHOULD I DO? I DON'T WANNA HURT MY SON.

Answer 1

You need to talk to your husband. You may want to consider a professional therapist. The tingling feeling does fade with time, but it should still reappear here and there. If you truly love him and truly want to work things out, you have to have an open and honest communication. As always, your son should be the priority for you both.

Answer 2

You don't have to hurt your son, or leave your marriage. Just because the "honeymoon" is over, doesn't mean you quit caring for this man. Sweetheart, everybody goes through this at one point in time or another...it's part of the "ups and downs". It doesn't mean it should end. You have to remember that what it took to catch him, is also what it takes to keep him. It sounds to me that the both of you quit working on that aspect and have started to take each other for granted. There are no tricks to put the magic back into the relationship, but there are ways to ignite the spark. Remind yourself of the reason the two of you fell in love. Everyday try and think of something positive that you just adore about him. And then when you have sex, love him with all you have...don't make it about sex...or just doing the act...put some emotion into it. Then think about it that next day. Pretty soon you'll start to notice the butterflies in your stomach returning, you'll start to get excited about him coming home and will be a little more willing to tolerate his short comings. It may also help to talk to him, chances are he's feeling the same way. Maybe he has some suggestions of his own that he's been afraid to voice. I would like to caution you on the love aspect...you said that it feels as though he doesn't love you anymore. Don't believe that. He may not be "in love" with you, but I'm sure he still loves you. Just as you do him. It doesn't hurt to try, especially if you want things to work.

Answer 3

He's 36, could be he's beginning to have a minor drop in Testosterone production. Could be because of his diet, or just natural occurence.

Talk to your Doctor and tell them exactly what you've told us, ask for an opinion if they think it could be lower Testosterone.

If your doctor agrees this is a possiblity, suggest to your husband that he visit his Doctor, and just ask about the possibility.

I've seen it make a WORLD of difference in a friend. And I mean like night and day. More energy, more desire for life, more fitness.

It's not the same as what you hear about with athletes, this would be a very controlled usage, just to bring up levels to a normal mark.

I'm not saying this is his issue, but it's worth investigating.

Answer 4

first of all, you need some communication in your marriage.. you need to be able to tell your husband how you feel.. tell him that once in awhile you would like him to romance you.. to make you feel special.. but you in turn need to realize that after being together for awhile the new 'in love' and fluttery feelings go away... instead the love has changed to something deeper- which it should be. if he doesn't know what to do for you (like most men) tell him exactly what it is that you want him to do (ie. i want you to bring me flowers... i want you to kiss my neck... i want you to initiate sex at least 1 time every other week... etc.) alot of men aren't sure what to do in their relationships and think that everything is just fine and dandy.. if you want something changed tell him- and be specific! also, you can start doing romantic little things for him, and sooner or later he will catch on... he will see a change in you, and will respond... it might take some time but it will always be worth it. you might also want to think about marital counseling.. it will help you both to see where you are happy and unhappy in your marriage and give you a mediator to talk through whatever issues you may have... sometimes husbands don't like to do marital counseling, but tell him it is for you.. that you desperately need it... if you love him, and you know you love him... then stay with him. you need to participate in this marriage and try hard on your end to make it work as well... i hope it all works out for you...

Answer 5

Your story sounds like my past life (minus the child). What i done is i got a divorce, found a man that showers me with attention and im happy. BUT, i like to see all marriages last if possible so i suggest that you try every means possible before u get a divorce. Try marriage counceling, talking to him (i mean a GOOD heart to heart talk). Tell him that ur thinking of leaving if things dont change etc.... As far as your son goes, i think some times its better for a child's parents to be seperated than it is for them to be together and the child see both parents miserable (or arguing, ignoring etc.... each other). God bless and good luck!

Answer 6

It really depends on what you both want out of this relationship. That tingling feeling you described changes into a sense of comfort, sharing and caring that you both give and receive. Talk to him about your feelings; find out what he is feeling and thinking. When the feeling starts to die, it's usually because there is no commitment from one or both of the partners. What often happens is that one or both of the partners are more interested in their own needs over that of others. When you want to love someone, put their needs ahead of yours. If both of you believe in this, then you'll do fine.

Answer 7

You said, "I love him I think." Either you do or you don't. Your not sure if you love him. You said you have to "beg" for sex and that you don't feel he loves you anymore. Have you expressed your feelings and your dissatisfaction about these issues with him?
I would suggest seeing a marriage counselor. Maybe they can sort out what's going on here. good luck.

Answer 8

You need to sit down and talk to him. If that doesn't help write him how you feel or seek professional help. You have to resolve this problem because it will affect your health and also your son. Hopefully you get him to talk about his feelings.

Answer 9

Try talking to him. Tel him how you feel. Go together to a therapist if he don't go you go. Try but if it is not working, then do what you have to do. follow your heart.

Answer 10

If he is not unfaithful, you need to tone down your expectations regarding romance, sex and attention. The relationship between a man and a woman is not stagnant. Courtship is different from being married the first year , second year and so forth. It evolves.....changes.