we love each other, why we argue and get this upset? how do you survive the marriage?

Question

do you argue? how do you handle it?

Answer 1

That's apart of marriage.If you want a marriage to last then you both have to sit down after your arguments and work things out like two mature human beings.

Answer 2

Yeah, right there with you. We argue nearly every single day. It has put a tole on me. I never use to argue, but started to so that I could survive. Got tired of keeping my mouth shut and trying to ignore things. I think every couple argues, it's when it's in excess that it becomes a problem. During the argument I think you find out a lot about your partner that you didn't know. Because usually in the heat of the moment they say things that they have been wanting to say for a long time. We don't handle the arguing, because no matter what, in the end, what HE says goes. You really have to compromise in a marriage, really you do. Your two different people trying to live together and it's hard. You give a little and take a little, but it has to be both of you that does that. If you both do, then your marriage will blossom. Good luck.

Answer 3

Not arguing in a relationship means there's usually not a spark and a lot of indifference. The fact that you argue isn't the issue. What matters is how you argue. If you both allow each other to speak your mind and can find a compromise which is mutally beneficial, you'll do just fine. My husband and I argue plenty, but we never degrade each other or disrespect each other. An argument is always ended with both parties feeling heard and a solution which is mutually beneficial.

Answer 4

learn how to communicate.. my husband and i rarely argue.. we did alot when we first got together but over time we realized that we could just talk through things.. normally couples argue over what they think they heard their partner say.. when the partner really meant something different.. .in our pre-marrital counseling we had this assignment that if we fought we had to say (and it sounds dumb, but it works, and now we don't even have to use it anymore) "i hear you saying.......(insert whatever you are hearing here).. .is that correct?" wait for the response from your spouse... as in "yes, that is correct" or "no.. what i meant was.... " repeat the first.. "i hear this.. " sooner or later you will get on the same page... it sounds dumb, but it really does work.. and like i said, my husband and i don't argue anymore.. and it's not b/c life is perfect, it's b/c we have learned to communicate.. that we can talk about anything and everything, and know that the other will actually LISTEN to what you are trying to say.. best of luck.. i would say marrital counseling would be very helpful as well to you guys... when you're done arguing... say 'i'm sorry' and 'i love you' they are the most important words that need to be said in a marriage.

Answer 5

If you both love each other really, then even arguments you will find it sweet, if you really feel a sort of grudge over him or hate him and that hatedness lasts long, then you have to doubt whether you are really in love with him? If not after arguments you both will join again and life will go on... arguments and fights are common in a married life but lovers always feel a sort of sweetness even when they argue, or they will soon will realise their mistakes and will apologise each other .... Arguments are good because it will help both of you to understand each other well, and it should be healthy, it should not be destructive. Either of you or both can make an argument in solving a problem rather than creating another one...
In your case you have to see whether you both really love each other, if not try to love in full sense.

Answer 6

What issues are you arguing about that you don't see eye to eye on? Maybe if one of you takes a drive or a walk to cool off and get a little perspective, it might help. Or you could agree to disagree if there's no meeting of the minds. Or you could see a marriage counselor. Perhaps they can help.

Answer 7

Married 36 years. My hubby & I used to argue about everything. It was horrible.
One day I had a talk with him and said that the arguments always lead to hurtful comments to each other and could we please, think it thru for a few minutes and decide if the argument was worth where we both knew it would go.
It cut our arguing down to almost never.
We actually decided that talking it through honestly was less painful and more productive.

Answer 8

Yes, we argue once in a while. My husband and I don't always see things eye to eye sometimes but we don't yell, bicker or scream at each other. When one of us find ourselves getting really angry, we take a few moments away to cool off until we're both calm enough to discuss the disagreement in a collected way. Sometimes we end up agreeing, sometimes we end up compromising and other times we just don't agree so we agree to disagree. Having been best friends with him for 4 yrs. before getting married gave us 4 yrs of practice. :)

Answer 9

arguing moderately is ok..it spices up the relationship..its normal to argue on issues that u dont agree with..we all ahve different opinions and points of view..itsok to talk about it..compromise and respect each other's opinion..u cant expect everyone to agree with u all the time least of all ur partner :) respect and dont it come between u..stop from there shake hands and make up..lol

Answer 10

pick and chose your battles don't argue over petty stuff like throwing cloth's on the floor,washing out dishes,not replacing the toilet paper,etc.just let that stuff go it's not worth it also if you argue over money if the other over spends over look it once in a while then ask your partner to talk to you before they spend any more then calmly discuss if it is worth buying also if you believe in God first and for most but God first.