Are there any of our community who were truly accepted by all in their family ?

Question

I would love to know.
When Gwen and I decided to buy a house and live together [some years after meeting] I told my mother. She replied that she had always hoped for grandchildren someday but that Gwen was a lovely person so if were serious I shoul treat her kindly and be happy.
Gwen's family treated us with scon and disgust. My beloved had the strength and serenity to forgive them.
After her tragic death the family treated her remains with what I can only hope was "Thoughtless" contempt. I was away and they claimed her body, burying it it their church's private plot under her date of birth and UNKNOWN TO GOD. I sufferee a severe nervous colapse but am now recovering.
Please tell me that there are kind accepting and loving people out there.
Concerned, Rose P.

Answer 1

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

To answer your question, I have been blessed by an extremely accepting immediate family -- when I came out to my mother, she simply nodded and said, "I thought so". The only 'negative' things she's had to say on the subject have been similar to your mother's comments: mentions of grandchildren and such. But other than that, she's been wonderful.

My brother, as well, registered almost no surprise. I didn't come out to him until I was actually dating my then-girlfriend (now fiancee), and he said he thought we'd been dating for years now (we were very good friends and roommates for awhile before officially 'hooking up').

Both sides of my extended family have been great, too. Last Thanksgiving was the first time many of them on my mother's side met my fiancee, and they went out of their way to make sure she felt welcome. My grandmother and my uncle in particular were effusive and kept commenting on 'how much happier' I looked now.

Again, I'm so very sorry that you had to lose the person you loved, and then watch as her 'family' treated her so thoughtlessly. My thoughts are with both you and Gwen, wherever she may be now.

~Krista

Answer 2

I'm very sorry to hear that. If it helps any, I do truly believe that things are getting better. More politically charged, yes, but overall better. More and more people are coming out (and at younger ages) so that people don't see it as this strange and obscure thing anymore. That helps some. ANd more and more people are listening to research (which, incidentally, there's more of that floating around now too) and reason. It's a long haul, but there has been progress.

To answer your question, I'm out to all of my immediate family. I don't really know the appropriate manner in which to come out to extended family (whom I don't really see all that often anyway), but so far there's been no problems. I figure the extended family will figure it out when they get wedding invitations / announcements (a long way off; I'm 20 and single). Honestly though, I don't expect many major problems. Some people who need some slight educating, perhaps, but I think most people in my family are at least open to said education.

Answer 3

I'm sorry for your loss and saddened by the callous acts of your partner's family. Please don't believe you are responsible in any way for their actions. They are theirs, not yours, they mark themselves, not Gwen.

Yes, I work with a gay man and a lesbian both of which have loving and accepting families that welcomed their partners, and both were blessed with partners from caring families as well. My own family is dysfunctional, but the issues are not about sexual orientation. I have little doubt that my parents would continue to love and accept me if I came out and I'm equally certain about my brother and cousins. Maybe one day I'll be beyond the other issues and do so. For now, it's still a journey.

Answer 4

I'm sorry for your lose. Considering I have not come out yet, I don't know how my family will react, but I have a friend that was gay, and he told his family, and his family totally accepted him. There was not one ounce of scorn. Actually, when my friend came out, it gave his uncle the courage to come out, too. And, to top it all off, his boyfriend's family was cool with it, too. It was the most perfect thing ever; their families could not have been more supportive. I hope that is what my family is like when I come out. Hope this helped a little, and good luck with your healing.

Answer 5

My god, that's awful. I am truly sorry for you loss and the hellacious actions your love's family took.

Well, I'm bi and I've never told any of my extended family, but my mother, father, and twin sister accept me. All of my friends accept me, too. Actually, all of my immediate family are a little queer except for my sister (and her husband), but we accept them for being straight, lol.

I don't know if I'll ever come out to my extended family; they are homophobic, but I'm not that close to them. What really matters to me is my immediate family. We all accept each other whatever our differences or oddities.

Answer 6

sorry about your loss. my family has been good to my lovers. i am with a great woman now, 2yrs in oct. i made it plain to my family from the start, you don't accept her, you don't accept me. i have 9 brothers and sisters and only 2 are a little wiggy about kids being around us. hey, no babysitting duties right? your gf's family was wrong and spiteful. i hope you can get past this.

Answer 7

I'm so sorry for your loss. Yes, it took some time, but my family truly accepts me.