How did you become who you are today?

Question

I am about to go to college and I still very dependent on my parents, and feel that is going to take a very long time until I can "grow up".
Can you please give me an overview of how old you were and maybe how you and when you accomplished certain things like getting a car or moved out, and how long and what degree type you got in college? I feel a little lost and confined right now. I'd like to know what your situations were, Thank you.

Answer 1

i was on my own @ 18 - no $$ for college . my husband is a very hard worker. we got together @ 21. got married @ 23 bought our 1st home @ 24 - 1st car pymt @ 25 1st child @27. we now have a new home 2 car pmts & 2 kids. no formal education, so you go to college make lots of money& do not get in credit card debt!!! if we made it - i know you can -- good luck -- make us proud!

Answer 2

I am 47 years old. The circumstances of my leaving home were not nice: my abusive step-father mistreated me, and I decided to leave (on my 18th birthday).
Everyone is different. Don't be too critical of yourself because you aren't yet fully independent of your parents. This is often the case when a child has superb parents. The relationship is so cozy then, that the child never wants to "step out," to change and develop into a new kind of person, more mature and confident, etc. The alternative is to have lousy parents, like I had. You don't want that, of course. Be a bit content that right now you have the chance to go to college, and also that you know you are "too dependent" on your parents. Deliberately do things that are independent of your parents, and this feeling of dependency will diminish. You can volunteer to do things that come from your own spirit, and not from the suggestions of your parents. You can also accept responsibility for your own well-being and security. Make friends on campus. They will sometimes be less dependent on parents, and you can learn from them. But make sure that your friends are mature and responsible. You will know this, usually, by the way they speak.
I majored in history in college. I was 35 years old when I graduated. I wish I got my college education earlier, but this is life; I was never rich or privileged. Please take your education seriously. That is another way you can grow your maturity. You can also grow your maturity by developing your own unique religious beliefs, distinct from what you think the folks agree with or are certain to approve of. Form the beliefs that are true to yourself. All that is right will follow from that.

Answer 3

My father died when I was 11, so I lived with my mother until I was 21 and got married. I was recruited by the state while I was still in high school and started working for them one month after graduation. I never obtained a college diploma, but I have done very well job wise without one. I have worked for IRS and the state of Texas. I always listened to my parents and they were never mean to me. I was spanked only a few times. My mother told me the facts of life and what not to do, taught me manners and how to be kind to other people. I was never taught to be prejudiced against people unless they did harm to me. I got my first car when I was 19 and had been working about a year. It was a 1963 Chevy BelAir and it was pink!. Boy, was I proud of that car no matter the color. I still have all the values my parents, and especially my mother taught me. I am 58 years old and have never been in trouble, never been arrested, and live a clean and happy life without smoking or drinking. After I quit working at IRS, they called me at home and wanted me to come back to work. I think that is a very good testimony to one of my accomplishments in life. I have a wonderful family and 4 beautiful granddaughters and I think that says the most about who I am today.

Answer 4

Well now, let's see. I'm a forty five year old man. I purchased my first car when I was seventeen. A 1974 Oldsmobile Cutlass! We roared in that rocket! I left home several times starting when I was sixteen and it was for good by the time I was twenty one. Lots of back and forth for a while, God Bless my Dear Old Ma; rest easy Ma. I didn't attend college until I turned forty, my diploma is in the building sciences. I'm considering going forward from here to university, apparently I'm good for a year towards the degree I'd chase after. Lots of adventures between the here and there of time between these ages. My early years were spent in the harsh realm, fortunately I was adopted when I was six by some really great people ( Geez, I sure miss Ma. ). That's pretty much all I'm willing to share. It will be fine for you, roll with what comes and enjoy your moments!

Answer 5

Don't worry you'll be fine.

GO TO COLLEGE, you will grow up and it will work out.

I'm 28, married (five years), have a son (five and a half months). I'm just now getting my associates in business (specialty in paralegal studies). It's been rough.

I got into trouble...and ended up moving in with a boyfriend and his mom. DON'T ever move in with a guy - its the quickest way to ruin everything you've worked for and your relationship.

I worked in real estate since high school. Doing misc jobs at a title company. I eventually worked my way up (after ditching the guy and moving back home). I made enough money after many years (5) of working to move out on my own. It was great!

As far as car...

My parents helped me there. They did that with all of us. They cosigned and we paid the payment and insurance as well as gas.

My road was rough because I chose not to go to college. Had I gone I would have a degree and internship. Also, I would have gained the self confidence not to get in a bad relationship. And, the self confidence to get a good job and put that degree to work.

Don't worry your parents are still there for you no matter what. And, they will be more than happy to help you...and dispense advise whenever you need it. ;))

Answer 6

Once I went to college, I really didn't want to live at home at all anymore (and I love my folks a lot). I started going back to school during a break sooner and sooner because that was where i wanted to be.

As a freshmen in college ( with all due respect) you really don't know anything yet. You will be doing a lot of learning.

I moved out soon after I graduated, but even after graduation you will still need your folks a lot. That's OK.

If I could give you one piece of advice it would be that you should learn to make your own decisions and decide how you will live your life. Your parents view point is fine (and probably more right than wrong), but you have to unlearn it and then prove it to yourself all over again.

Answer 7

Ha ha don't worry. Life tends to work out for everyone. I'm in college and I'm still dependend on my parents. Of course, I live at home since college is only 15 mins away. I can do simple chores, but I'm not that great of a cook. Also, I don't really understand anything that has to do with money... like the bank, credit card, I don't really understand all the fine details of those things so my parents handle that. Oh man I don't think going to college neccessarily means that we all grow up. It happens slowly and all the time.

Answer 8

There is no magic spell that will change you from a dependent child to an independent adult. Achieving that status takes time and experience. You will stumble along the way -several times. But by now you know right from wrong and can, with care, avoid the deadly pratfalls. Like, don't let yourself be talked into drinking or doing marijuana just to "fit in". Don't indulge a guy sexually in order not to be left out. Don't cheat in order to pass a difficult exam.

None of us ever simply walked out the door of our parents' house and turned into a responsible, respectable, independent adult. Nor will you. You know what's needed: close attention to your studies. Make earning those good grades your number one concern. And without your even realizing it, along the way, you'll grow. You will not be the same person four years from now that you are today - in fact, you wouldn't even recognize yourself if you could magically get a look into your future. So don't be overly anxious: you will succeed. Your being able to admit your concerns and asking for some guidance is sufficient evidence for me to be able to tell you that. You will succeed.

Answer 9

Having a child at the age of 19 changed my life, because I had to. I was smart to finish school and move on, unlike some girls who quit right away. You're lucky though. I went to cosmotology school and didn't finish, because financially I had to work instead of going to school. Don't get me wrong I enjoy being a mother, and now I'm married to a great husband and stay at home with both my children now. I often wonder though who I might have turned out to be professionally speaking if things didn't rush up on me. You will always need your parents, but in a different way as time goes by. Don't worry and go with the flow of life. Live to the fullest and follow your dreams. Live for me. I'm living as a mother right now, but I do wish I had a profession I also loved as much as I love my family.

Answer 10

Very nice question.
I am a multi millionaire now but it was not easy.
My parents could not afford my college.
At the time, chemical engineering was in high demand.
I got good grades my first year...all A's through hard work.
Then, I got an apprenticeship and used that to pay for a better college.
I worked for a small company.
Made it very successgful and made the stockholders pay to keep me.
There are many other steps like real estate investing and never giving up. But, read The Millionaire Next Door for a many good ideas.

Best of luck.

Answer 11

Strength, determination and the will to never give up when the chips are down..I am 36 years old, went back to school 4 years ago and am now a geriatric nurse in a nursing home..Got my first vehicle at 32 and lived at home till I was 33 to save money for what I wanted in life ..No worries..I understand you feelings totally, but things will fall into place for you and whatever comes your way does so for a reason. Best of luck to you!!