I have really tried, been to marriage counseling, changed many things about myself to accommodate my wife, etc. My wife has left me and taken our two kids (0.3 and 6 years) and said she will not return unless I do what she wants only.
Nothing I do helps. I change something about myself and then she wants me to change something else. There are many things about her I want changed, but I have no leverage except that I am still paying all the bills, and she is racking them up considerably. I haven't played the 'cutoff-the-finances' card yet, but I am growing weary of this extortion and really hating my wife for depriving me of my kids. I know with a divorce, I probably won't see them alot, but at least I will see them sometimes. What can I do? I am nearing the end of my patience. I want my family back, but not my wife. What can a man do?
2006-08-18 15:50:47 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks for all the good advice people. DG is right, I seem to have become a convenient patsy because I fear if I cut her off, then she will go ballistic and who knows what will happen - any little progress will probably be wiped out. She has my kids 1800 miles away. I have never talked to a family lawyer. How do you go about these things? Another complication is that I'm in another state (AZ) and she is in TX. Should I get a TX lawyer or an AZ lawyer? We were married in TX.
2006-08-18 16:31:16 · update #1
I am sorry to hear of your problems, and know that this must be a trying time for you.
However, it's past time that you went to see a lawyer and find out exacty what options are available to you in your particular situation.
It sounds like you've become a convenient patsy in this situation... withall of the work and none of the privileges. A lawyer can help to clearly define which bills will be your responsibility and which bills will be hers. In the meantime, if you share joint credit cards, and you are the primary on the account, it's time to shut the accounts down before you are financially ruined.
In regards to the children, she might not play fair. However, any woman worth her salt should know it's always in the best interest of the children to maintain civil contact with their father, especially a father who obviously loves and cares for them.
If she threatens to withold the kids from you unless you comply with her demands, make sure you have a witness present.
I wouldn't waste any more time. I would see an atorney asap, and I wouldn't forewarn her. No doubt there will be some fallout for that, but whatever comes... can't be any worse than what you are being subjected to right now.
Good Luck~*
2006-08-18 16:06:59 · answer #1 · answered by DG 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the end if she keeps this up your kids will see it, maybe not right away but in the long run. I know it's tough now, but they will. As far as the cut of the finances card. Cut off your wife not your kids. It sounds like she is being selfish. I am not sure what you learned in counseling but you both are adults and you should try to stick it out. If you can't then if you must you get divorced. It's really hard on kids so make sure you get family counseling not just for you but for you first child and if necessary for the 2nd. I would only divorce as last resort. Sometimes two people can love each other but be completely wrong for each other if you have changed and she hasn't then she sounds really immature and only wants things her way.
Maybe a legal separation is the first way to go, but make sure you get to see your kids...(which is sounds like you need to do as much as they need you) Just b/c you are a man doesn't mean you don't have the rights to see your children. (sorry guys) So many men make babies and then want nothing to do with them, It's refreshing to see someone who does (and I am sure there are more out there)
Its tough and I feel for your situation, but it always gets worse before it gets better! Love yourself, love your family hopefully that love will see you through the bad times.....
2006-08-18 16:04:02 · answer #2 · answered by Farmgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then you have no choice but to hire an Attorney and DIVORCE ya WIFE but not your kids if you hire the right Attorney you will get time with your kids and for right now the best thing for you to do is stop her from running up bills because she isnt going to stop so its up to you to stop her before she has you so deep in debt that you cant get out and ruin your credit so be careful you are obligated to support your kids but not her and her bills.
2006-08-18 16:10:10 · answer #3 · answered by CaliMa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously need some legal advise first...She can not keep you from seeing your kids, that is wrong...If you do file for a divorce depending on the circumstances, you would have equal amount of access to the kids....Get your self a good lawyer....
2006-08-18 15:59:52 · answer #4 · answered by Spellbinder 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer and a legal separation agreement, include terms like custody, visitation, and financial responsibility.
2006-08-18 15:57:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get on with the divorce and stop the credit cards, get the visitations worked out and custody. --- sorry dear, but she doesn't want you - just the money!
2006-08-18 16:07:40 · answer #6 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a lawyer to fight this battle for you
2006-08-18 15:56:03 · answer #7 · answered by jus j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
see a divorce attorney.
2006-08-18 16:29:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try pre-paid legal they'll help you out www.prepaidlegal.com/go/hardy_m
2006-08-18 15:57:05 · answer #9 · answered by mocha-fava 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋