Somebody please Help!!!?

Question

i have a very difficult situation. i am 20 years old and will be 21 in November and i am pregnant. i don't know how to tell my family. i haven't really told anyone. when i found out that i was pregnant i got an apartment and a job. my boyfriend lives with me and he has a job and he helps me out tremedously. i don't rely on my family for anything. no one has really seen me while pregnant except my boyfriend and my brother and those at work. it's so difficult for me to tell my family. i'm afraid of what they may think of me. my grandmother brought me up in church. they are against sex before marriage and i regret even having sex to have brought myself to this. i am happy about having my baby next month and so is my boyfriend. he wants to marry me in December and not because of the baby because he had already told me before i was pregnant that he wanted to marry me. How do i tell them & should i feel afraid to tell them. i have ask God to forgive cuz i am sorry.

Answer 1

What is done, is done, your family will accept your situation, if not now, in time.
Enjoy the new life you are about to bring into this world.
Raise your child, grow with your child, LOVE your child, Cherish your child
and your husband (to be) as He should love and Cherish you

Answer 2

Well I was really scared to tell my dad when I got pregnant and I was already married and everything I was 22 when I got pregnant and I just went to him and told him that I was and I was scared the whole time and wanted to back out because he is the type who goes to church and all that and I got the nerve up went in there and I thought he would be upset and he told me that he would help me in anyway he could. Just tell them that you know they believe in sex after marriage but you know that you want to spend forever with him and he is the one you love and you felt it was right and you are excited to have this child and it would mean a lot to you if they would be there for you and when this baby is born and I am sure they will be excited and if they are not well that is there lose they will miss out on and you are a grown up not living with them so you can do what you want and no one can judge you for that. If you are happy that is all that matters and if they really love you they will be happy for you....I think they wont be mad that you are preg they might be a little upset you waited 8 months to tell them...Good luck

Answer 3

You sweetheart. What a trial. That's very hard.

There was one time that I thought I was pregnant (we don't believe in sex before marriate either and that was a HUGE NO NO NO in my family) and I was scared to death. What made matters even worse was that I'd been living away from home at the time (against my family's wishes) AND, I had been date raped by my very (haha yeah right) good friend. It was horrible.
So, I told my parents and they thought I was lying about getting raped.... anyway, it was horrible. I ended up not being pregnant anyway. My parents believe me now and feel bad for that.

The thing is, they'll be very disappointed, but you know what? They love you and they will accept it. It is very scary to show someone how you've let them down; but believe me, it is better to tell them the truth NOW than to put it off. You mother and grandmother will feel very bad that they've been left out on this great adventure of being pregnant. Include them in on the baby showers and the birth (they don't have to BE there for it physically) and all that.

IF they don't accept the situation, just tell them that you love them, that you've learned your lesson and are repenting/fixing your life now, and you'll be marrying the child's father (that'll be a BIG one for them), and then tell them that you'll love this child with all your heart and do your very best to provide the best upbringing for it in the religion they raised you in. Ask for their support because you'll need it.

If worse comes to worse and your good boyfriend doesn't end up marrying you and your family isn't very supportive I suggest giving up your baby for adoption. It would be the very best thing for you and the baby.

I pray it doesn't come to that. I believe you're old enough to care for a newborn, just so long as the dad is married to you and supports the two of you.

Good luck!!!!!
Prayers are with you!

Answer 4

If your family is religious, then they know that everyone makes mistakes and god forgives. What would really be horrible is if they didn't have a chance to share in the joy of a new baby coming into the family.

Just call someone important -- like your mom or sister if you have one, and tell them that you have something very difficult to tell them. Then explain that you will have a baby next month, and that you're very excited about it, but we're afraid to tell them because it was out of wedlock. Explain that you know you made a poor decision, but that you have accepted that decision and are going to work hard to be the best mom possible for your baby.

If they can't love you and accept you for that, then they're not as religious as they think.

I'm really proud of you for getting your life together and taking responsibility for your baby. That's a great sign that you will be a dedicated mom. Try to get this resolved before the baby comes, because those first few weeks can be stressful, and you don't need this additional stress at that time. Best wishes to you and your boyfriend -- I hope the three of you have a wonderful life together.

Answer 5

You have to tell your family. You may be surprised to find out how supportive they will be. After all, a beautiful little soul is about to enter this world and sometimes that has an amazing, binding effect on families. Also, you have to relieve yourself of this stress. It's not good for you or the baby. You can only look forward to the future and plan on how you are going to take care of this amazing gift from God. (If you are a true believer you will accept this path. God knows what he's doing)

Answer 6

I know you regret your actions but it really seems like you and your boyfriend are doing well and will be fine. You have a job, an apartment, and are planning to get married. Congratulations on the new family you are creating! I know the timing might be a little rushed but God forgives you when you ask and He'll take care of you.

I know it is hard to tell your family, but it is probably harder to go through this without them. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to tell them; you don't want to wait until your baby is walking and talking to let them know, and you certainly don't want someone else to say "oh, I saw her with her new baby" and have them find out from someone else. Maybe you could write a letter and say "I don't know how to tell you but I want you to know..." After any initial shock or disappointment, I think they will be excited and happy for you. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 7

You are 20, and although you may not feel like it, you are an adult and are responsible for your own actions. You also do not have to be bound by the beliefs of your family anymore. Just tell them. If they are a family of worth, they will be supportive towards you in all this, and they'll keep their dissapointments to themselves. It is commendable that you've taken the opportunity to grow up a bit, and become independent from your family. It is also fantastic that your man is supportive, and that he wants' to give your new situation a chance. My family was dissapointed, no doubt. But they knew that being upset wasn't going to help the situation. They were positive, (after only a few tears), and they encouraged me in the new phase of my life. God knows that you're sorry, He knows that us humans do make mistakes. But He's probably very relieved that you will be with the man you've made a child with forever. I was afraid to tell my family. But I had no reason to be. I was 4 months pregnant before I told my father. I thought he'd be furious, but like I said, I was an adult. At least it didn't happen when I was a teenager. God can make peace with you, and so can your family. Don't worry. Things sound like they will progress just fine. Good Luck in your life together!!

Answer 8

You are fine. Enjoy the fact that you are starting your family and let them know you are thrilled by it up front. It is hard to be upset at someone so happy! Besides, I was raised in church also. The sex before marriage thing was an issue, however, I was also taught that sex was marriage in God's eyes and the ceremony was for others to witness our commitment to each other. The appropriate time for sex was after everyone knew of your commitment, but I don't see why if it is with one person whom you love and intend to spend the rest of your life with, why the order could not be reversed.

Answer 9

Ok, I was in a similar situation with my 1st son. Only I was 16. The father had already proposed before we found out. And I was worried about my parents finding out, but more so of my Grandparents finding out and what they would think. I had been brought up in church, my grandparents were very Christian people. So I didn't tell. Until my mom cornered me and basically got it out of me. She knew all along, guess it's one of those mom things. Anyway. My parents were pissed, of course. But after a bit, everyone calmed down. I was still upset, because I couldn't tell what my grandparents thought.
One day, I was sitting in the living room, and my grandma was in the kitchen doing dishes. Out of the blue she said "I'm so proud of you for doing the right thing, and not running and getting an abortion like some do." I nearly burst into tears. Yes, they were upset, but more for worrying about me and what was to happen. I finished HS(with honors) and my sons father and I are now married. My son is the light of their lives. He was the 1st grandchild,as well as the 1st great-grandchild. Congratulations on your baby!

Answer 10

Tell your family. You need to get the confrontation out of the way before the baby comes. I think that your families joy at the new life coming will out weigh any anger they may have at your not waiting until marriage. Besides this is the time when your family can give you advice and support about your new life. Don't worry honey, they will embrace you, your new baby, and soon to be husband.

Answer 11

I had a hard time telling my family and have had friends in the same spot. Basically, you should tell them as soon as possible. They might take it hard at first, but do you really think they'll hate you? If so, you're better off without them. Praying is by far the best thing you can do.
I know it's scary but it's your family and this is their new addition too. If they don't take it well, then from my experiences, they'll come around. It may just take some time. Who knows? Maybe they'll be thrilled!!! Don't let their initial reaction fool you(if they're cranky), it needs to sink in. It's all going to turn out fine, just hang in there. Make sure you tell them soon. Good luck and God Bless you and your new family(your whole one,too)