What do you think?

Question

What do you think?
First of all, I want to warn you that I don't need someone to feel sorry for me!
I am bisexual woman, but having sex more often with men than with women. I was raped about 3 years and half ago. After that my attraction to the women it's getting lower and lower everyday ( and I was said to expect the opposite). And my feelings and my sexual life with men didn't change at all. But I began to be really curious about men homosexual relationships. Gay movies started to excite me, the best sexual excitment to me is to imagine two men having sex ( I am usually imagining a younger and very beautiful man who is passive having sex with man 15-20 years older than him). I began to think the love between two men is stronger than any other love. A friend of mine, who knows about that gay excitment (but doesn't know about the rape) told me that I am like gay man stuck in a woman body.

Could this gay excitment be caused by the rape?

Answer 1

It sounds like you wanna see someone over power another while watching the two men. Power is what rape is about. I have had some experiences with men that made me powerless and can say that I have had the same feelings. The only difference is that I wanna control the men now. I usually date men who are delicate and beautiful, so maybe I am trying to reverse the role.
Maybe it would help to talk to a professional if you feel any problems from it. I know my boyfriend thinks I should because I can't resolve my problem.

Answer 2

I am so sorry to hear that you were raped; that's really horrible.

I don't know if that had an effect on your sexuality; I mean I know women who have also changed their sexual orientation without being raped. Again, I also know women (gay, straight and bi) who are turned on by homosexual male sex; this doesn't sound very unusual, and may or may not be connected to the rape.

I think maybe you might benefit from talking to a rape/sexual abuse counsellor; they have heard EVERYTHING, and won't be shocked or judge you. This may even be something they've heard of before.

I guess what I'm saying is: I don't know the answer, and I think you should talk to someone who does know what they are talking about. You may get some very ignorant opinions from asking on YA which might just confuse the issue even further.

I wish you the best, and most of all, love yourself.

Answer 3

Hell Yes. You have no idea how many women who were raped came to me and said that they wished they could feel their pain. They get excitied at the thought of a man being taken by a man. These women I knew ended up never married or refused to date. Sometimes these women who were raped turned to lesbians but it is a terrible excuse to be a lesbian. To be a lesbian means you're attracted to women not because you're terrified of the past.

You said "I began to think the love between two men is stronger than any other love." What the hell are you talking about? love is strong in any kind of relationship, regardless of gender combination. I think you think that it's more exciting to put two men together because of many social conflicts. It's less accepted (and maybe more disgusting) than two women together.

I think you've changed from Bisexual to Straight but not exactly. That's okay. If you're not having sex as much, then you're probably asexual. ahahaha ahem, I mean like the women I've met.

Answer 4

Yes, I could see that as being caused by the rape. I've heard of it increasing or decreasing sexual desire, depending on the person. With you being bi, and being raped by someone that's either male or female, it could effect you sexual appetite regarding a specific gender.

Answer 5

Maybe. You were taken by a man, and you may want to see another man taken in that way. I don't know. But it's not a big deal. (yes, your rape was a big deal, but I mean your fascination with gay sex isn't). Everybody has fantasies, and it's cool that you can talk with yours and have fun with it.

Answer 6

In my opinion.. strong opinion.. that would have had NOTHING to do with the rape... I can follow your attempt to reason it that way but I cannot agree.

Answer 7

alot of tragic things cause people to react in a weird unexpected way

Answer 8

It's caused by demons.

Answer 9

Didn't you already ask this question?

Answer 10

????