My husbands habits all bug me.?

Question

Hi. I've been married for 5 years. I have one child and pregnant with another. 5 years ago I knew my husband wasnt as good looking physically as other guys I've dated but he treated me great and we seemed to get along so well so I thought he was the one. Now his teeth are yellow, he's gained 20 pounds, his hairy chest (never liked it) is all gray, he has horrible table manners, is a slob when eating ,dresses even worse then when I married him even though I didnt think it wa spossible, is cheap, and I am so lost. Is it because I feel gross about myself? I tried talking to him and he is now not talking to me. I tried the sweet way of offering white strips, buying clothes, and giving him time for the gym but not working. Ugghh. I just want to be semi- attracted to him again even but he comes near me and I want to push him off me.

No, I did not gain any weight with the exception of when I was pregnant and was lighter then ever just before it all worked. I take pride to groom myself , color my hair etc. and thought making sure to continue soending time working on making myself more attractive to him would help. We did IVF and I blamed the stress on that. He is a great dad and a great person to spend time with, Im just frustrated with looking at him and being embarassed.

Answer 1

those are not habits it is who he is. If you are so willing to point at his flaws then i would hate to see your flaws. Yhey say when we are so easy to judge poorly of others then we must look to ourselfs to find out what we ourselfs are doing wrong that we do not want to admit to. if you truelly love him for his personallity and not his looks then prove it by being proud of his clothes yellow teeth and table manners

Answer 2

Hello Again - I replied to you from an earlier post I had on the same topic. What I find interesting is folks on this forum have no idea, do they? You got some of the same and similar responses as I did - not nice in the least. In any case, as you saw from my post - we both have the same issue - and I continue to struggle with it as well. I do all that I can to stay and remain healthy and attractive to my husband - yet feel as though he is not doing the same for me. I'm sorry some of you feel this is selfish - you obviously don't understand how we feel, which is OK. I guess I have come to realize it is not worth loosing my marriage over - yet at the same time I do not want to live in a sexless marriage. I too am struggling with how to get past this - so I will again be physically and sexually attracted to my husband. If anyone has any great ideas, I'd love to hear 'em. Thanks!

Answer 3

I don't even know what to say about that one. I would say your suppose to love him no matter what but the table manners and the yellow teeth would bug the heck out of me. Ok the grey hair well we all get gray so I can put up with that. Him putting on a few pounds well you must be a good cook I could live with that as well just as long as he dresses right. I would just tell him first you know when I met you your teeth were so much whiter maybe you should go see the dentist. Tell him you want your kids to have good table manners and that he needs to be a good example for the kids. Good luck hope it works out for you both.

Answer 4

Oh hun. Let it go for a while. I bet part of it is how you are feeling about your own body. If not and you feel this way after you give birh try giving him a list. No not a nasty one just a list. Actually two lists. One of the things you like about him and one of the things you wish he would change. Encourage him to do the same for you. (but don't dare get mad when he does) mind you I don't recommend this while you are pregnant due to the fact that the hormones are off kilter anyway.
Good luck with you kids.

Answer 5

the actual situation the following seems that your husband has an element of himself that he has not shared, you do not realize, and also you'll't relate to. truthfully search for advice from with a psychologist or counselor through your self. percentage what you got here across and your thoughts. workout habitual a procedure action with the counselor to both settle for this and in no way say something, or artwork on confronting this on your courting. in case you choose to search for advice from along with your husband about it, tell your husband that you've been seeing a therapist and picture it may be useful if he got here so the therapist could search for advice from with both one in each of you mutually, you'll really not talk about it with out the therapist there for help. there is not any thanks to do this with out him feeling ambushed. the in ordinary words thanks to dodge which will be in case you extremely relied on him sufficient to easily carry it up at living house. It sounds like this already sounds like a breach of believe to you and would't extremely be dealt with in a low-key way. when you're nervous about him being violent (i do not understand the guy and am not ruling something out) then make sure that you have a plan so as that if the treatment consultation would not flow properly that you've a danger-free position to stay the position he can not locate you, and also you do not ought to flow back to the living house because you've already got what you want with you. no matter if you talk this on my own, or with a therapist, he must have an chance to percentage this portion of himself and clarify it to you. What he says may not replace something for you, yet you in no way understand. a wedding ceremony is about believe and understanding. attempt for understanding formerly you choose no matter if to take any extra drastic action. it may not workout habitual besides, yet a minimum of that way you realize you gave it each danger and did not overreact or misunderstand.

Answer 6

At least he doesn't beat you....But I can see a little of what your saying but I think you are taking it to far.....Have you gained ANY weight? While you were not pregnant! Are your teeth perfect?

You need to explain this to him .....Hi honey I love you But I'm not attracted to you anymore......Reasons why......I want BOTH of us to get healthy for our children. lose some weight........eat better......Smoke less......or whatever turns his teeth yellow.......brush teeth more often.....Just be sincere and tell him He has to change with you for a better Love life, no i don't mean just sex.....

Answer 7

Damn you really tried so good for you on that one. I dont have an answer but alot of men and women can take a clue from you on how to save a marraige before just walking away.

Answer 8

Gee, imagine how men feel when their wives let themselves go.
Of course he's not talking to you. He thinks you were trying to change him (and you are), and this hurt his feelings. It's pretty shallow if you ask me. I know how important "attraction" is but I don't think there's really anything you can do unless he wants to do it for himself. If you married him because you love who he was, shouldn't you love him for who he is now? After all, he's still the same person.

Answer 9

You have proved it......when you settle and get together for the wrong reasons.....you pay a price....and you are!!! You say that you are pregnant......geeee.....how did that happen??? You knew how he was..........stop trying to change him. Look on the bright side......rest assure that he proabably won't be having an affair!

Answer 10

alot of men and women let themselves go after marriage, the women blame it on having kids. they get comfortable and figure they don't have to impress you anymore.if you can't get him to take care of himself,then I would leave. people say thats shallow but I couldn't be with A fat slob either, go to the gym with him make it your time together.being preg, you can still swim, treadmill, light exercise.tell him your not attracted to him anymore.