I like this guy who just recently went through a divorce, so he's not ready to get too involved with anyone. He and I have been very close friends for about 7 yrs now. I'd like to get more involved with him but not too sure how to do it. He's rather old fashioned, which is a nice change of pace. There are a few things this man loves...Boating, fishing, and his dog. I've asked him to take me fishing, cause it is something I would really like to learn how to do. I've asked him to take me boating, I've even brought treats for his dog. Yet he still won't take me fishing or boating. I'm not asking him for a date, I'm asking him, as my friend, to do these things with me. Something tells me he's scared, really scared, and I'm not sure why. Any suggestions. And before any of you say I must be fat, ugly or bad in bed...I am none of those. :)
2006-08-18 14:35:06 · 11 answers · asked by Fuzzy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you are NOT fat or ugly and i don't know how he would know if you are good in bed.
the whole thing is he is scared and needs some time for himself to heal too. divorce has a way of scaring and isolating people, big time.
the only suggestion is leave him be, he may be damaged beyond repair or at least damaged enough to require extensive repair work.
its up to you if you are willing to put in the effort.
my suggestion is to show up at his doorstep in a bikini with your tacklebox in hand and rod in the other and when he opens the door tackle him
2006-08-18 14:49:46 · answer #1 · answered by zether 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to enter a healthy, long term relationship with him, allow him to heal from his divorce.
If you want to go on a date with him (not just be his friend), then tell him, "I know that you are still healing from your divorce. It's probably best that you wait about a year before you begin to date. I'd really like to date you, but I want to respect you. Can you put a date on your calendar, in about a year, to consider calling me for a date? I'd really like that". Then, back off.
Give him the time. Let him ask you out. If he is old fashioned, he would prefer initiating the dating.
Don't contact him. If you are in a situation where you see him through work or other required activities, then don't be stand-offish, be polite, but nothing more.
Then, be patient.
If it is meant to be, you will get a call from him in about a year and he can choose to invite you fishing or take you out to a nice dinner - it can be his choice, and in his time.
2006-08-18 14:46:45 · answer #2 · answered by Tammie R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course he's scared. He just went through a divorce right? He probably needs more time alone to sort things out. I say, continue being his friend but don't be all up in his rear end about it or you might drive him further away instead of closer to you. The man might be wanting some space right now so give him that space. When he's ready, you will know.
2006-08-18 14:45:45 · answer #3 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe you'e pushing too hard :) take it slowly..just keep the friendship for now cause i think its too soon for him to start dating again..if you're friends its easier to go through him..and when you're talking try asking some things about what he does who knows he'll finally realize that you're interested in him and will ask u to go boating or fishing..
2006-08-18 14:51:17 · answer #4 · answered by just me:) 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
men are evidently in touch in Lavender and Vanilla, so those scents in perfumes/shampoos are a plus. try talking in his proper ear- it really is the area of the mind that controls happiness. And smiling and guffawing more often than not is continually a good theory. grow to be hoping I helped!
2016-11-26 00:56:42 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are lying to yourself....read between the lines. You DO NOT want him as a friend....you want him as a boyfriend!!!! I think he has given you a big message....he is NOT interested in you....period!!! Stop making a fool out of yourself and leave the poor guy alone!
2006-08-18 14:44:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Honey if you have to work to get a guys attention he isn't interested. Its not like its a challenge or anything. You've decided that he's scared so you don't have to deal with the fact that he simply isn't interested!
2006-08-18 14:48:18 · answer #7 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
as long as he doesnt hates you, i think he will change slowly.its matter of time. continue the same as you have been doing without showing your expectations explicitly. you will see him change. All the best
2006-08-18 14:47:08 · answer #8 · answered by sizzler 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well get to know him then he mite become your boyfriend then he mite forget about his ex wife show you mite have a new boyfriend
2006-08-18 15:07:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
strip for him
2006-08-18 14:44:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋