Should I leave my husband?

Question

I have been married for 6 years. We have been together for nearly 10 years. We have a 3 year old son. He is an excellent father, and a very hard worker, both around our home and at the job. I am still hot and turned on by him and he is still hot for me.

Here's the problem. He won't quit smoking pot. It affects his emotional state of mind. If he is without it for a day he screams at me over little things in front of our son. The last big argument he demanded I get out of the car and pulled over. I got out and then my son began screaming for me to get in as he took off. He did come back a few minutes later because our son was hyperventalating. We cannot have business discussions about our future goals, the checkbook, etc without him flying off the handle emotionally. He has been diagnosed with obsesive compulsive behavior and does not want to live on medication.
I used to smoke pot with him in the past. It is just this last year I have decided to be quit and be all I can be.

Answer 1

He's an excellent father....but then he drives off with your child screaming in the back seat of the car and only comes back because the child his hyperventalating. No, sweetie, that's not an excellent father. I am sorry, a excellent father would quit the pot and take meds. I don't doubt that he loves your son, but harm is doing to him. Screaming, and yelling and high on drugs in front of him. I am so proud that you have quit, and you should be very proud of yourself. When you have a child, that child's welfare, and happiness comes before yours. Always! Even in a case of divorce, what I am saying, don't stay for the kids, if the home is a battlefield, what is that to live in. What kind of an example are you setting for the children? Whatever the children sees or hears effects them! Obsesive compulsive behavior is a trail to live with itself, without adding the drugs into the picture. Honey, he needs help...you need help with dealing with all of this. You are a very strong person to have dealt with so long, but are you happy? Is your son happy? Is your husband happy? Sex is great, but it's doesn't make a marriage. Can you discuss anything with him? You can't talk about business, so I am assuming you can't tell him about his emotional problems. Please, I don't like divorce, and I am not saying that your marriage has to end, but you can't keep going on like this. A person can only take so much till they break. I don't want to see that his problems give you a breakdown. Your son needs a parent who loves him, who he can count to be stable emotionally and financially. You can't make your marriage work by yourself, he's got to realize that. I am so afaird that he's going to go off on one his mad spells and hurt you or your son. He all ready left you on the side of the road, what's next? Please think about everything, please know you don't deserve being treated like this, and your son certainly doesn't need to see his Mom constantely mistreated either. Be careful, and please please seek some professional advice....praying for all of you..............God bless us all.............

Answer 2

If you didn't have a child... and you hadn't mentioned the reaction he had when you got out of the car... I'd say yes try leaving your husband to convince him. But imagine what that would do to your son. Your husband needs medication for that problem. Pot is very addictive, and it's not something he can quit easily. You did-- good for you !!! But not everybody can. You might try an intervention. Do an internet search for somebody in your area who does those. It should be a person who has experience and education and references. Basically, they have you get all your friends and family together and catch the person by surprise, and everybody just hounds them until they agree to get off the drugs or whatever they are addicted to. Don't try this without an experienced professional, though.

Answer 3

If I were you there would be no answer best but to. Talk to him

See if he is willing to save his family.

If he is not move on. You are going to have to be strong, you have a son. You need to show your son that smoking let along an illegal substance is bad and has huge consequences. You need to show your husband that too.

You as mommy needs to teach your son right and wrong and smoking weed is not only illegal but its obviously so bad for you.

There isn't much else you can do. If he agress to quit. He is gonna be an *** for a while but once the weed is out of his system he'll be good to go.

Answer 4

He has an addition to pot. He can't be that good of a father if he left u while your son was calling for u. How scared your son must have been. I would give him an ultimatum. Either he stops using and seeks help or he loses u and his son. If he is every busted for pot he could lose his son anyway.

Answer 5

He, my dear, has a problem. Psychologically addicted to weed. Funny you say he doesn't want to live on medication. So he self medicates himself instead.
I can tell you right now. I doubt he'll stop. Even if you try and broach this subject with him he may shut you out. So...as hard as it may be I think if things don't change you should begin quietly making plans to take junior and head out.
Give it the old college try first. that way you can at least leave and know that you did everything possible to make this work. the rest is up to him.

Answer 6

It used to be about you and your husband. Now it's about your child and his emotional health. You want to bring him up in a healthy, happy and safe environment.
Your saying to have this. You needs to be on medication which he won't do. Or allow him to smoke pot which isn't healthy for either of you.
I think you know what you have to do. I believe this because your asking for help. You know what you have to do. maybe you need validation that your making the right choice in leaving him.
I believe as hard as it is. You are right in leaving him. Before things escalate or your son's well being is jeopardized.

Answer 7

You should go to family therapy, and maybe enroll him in therapy for quitting pot. If that doesn't work even after you've given it time, leave him. You need to do what's best for your son. If his father isn't going to be the best he can be, you need to find someone who will always be there for you and can actually discuss the future with you. Also, congrats on quitting.

Answer 8

You need to give him a ultimatum, to get back on his meds(which sounds like what he really needs) or you and your son are leaving. Maybe if he gets on his meds he can get out of smoking pot. Most try to deny there illness and turn to drugs or alcohol.

Answer 9

well dear get counseling fro him addictions get worse I knew a guy who sold his stuff the house was empty as he made a bad deal and the guys was gonna kill the family if he dint come up with 3,000 that the guy fronted him it gets worse.. he got cancer.. of the prostrate and the wife was an idiot went into loans etc begged her family to pay too for his chemo..they did-- all to find out he died and his mistress had 2 kids by him on the side and those kids got all the benefits of his insurance policy and the wife who stood by him etc got nothing.now need i say u can have ur kids taken away if the law gets wind of this as it will get worse hun .. you have a parental choice to lead those kids to a safe nurturing life u bought them into this world .. protect them now before their gone.. make him make a an attempt to quit take ur loses now before all that happens to U

Answer 10

Did you husband smoke before you married him??? Most likely he did. So you can't expect him to just stop cold turkey. Maybe you should talk to him about getting help do stop smoking. If you husband has obsessive compulsive behavior I wouldn't advise you to leave him. If you were diagnosed with an illness should he leave you? When you married your husband you made that vow "TILL DEATH DO US PART". You need to stick with your husband and help him threw this.