My uncle and I went out to Indiana and we both split all of the costs. im 25 and he's about 45 years old. We stayed at my great aunt and uncle's home. The 1st night when we were out there he decided to borrow my car to go to a friends house. It was 8pm, and he said that he would be back in 2 hours or so. He did not come back until 1230am. During the time he was gone, my great aunt was setting up beds and one was a futon. She asked me if I was taller then my uncle and I was taller so she said to take the bed while uncle mike takes the futon. I asked her if she thought if my uncle was ok with it and she said that it would be fine. When he got home at 1230am, he was pissed. He said that I disrespected him by taking the good bed. Do you think I disrespected him by doing that, or do you think what I did was ok? I did not know what category to put this in, sorry.
2006-08-18 12:50:20 · 16 answers · asked by james w 3 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
No, you didn't.
"Grown-ups" often think they should get their own way - they're basically like spoilt children. He disrespected you and your great aunt - he could have not driven your car drunk and he could have been thankful for the futon.
We, who feel we should take the poor option, and give our associate the better, will never get anywhere. Let him push someone else around. Drive away from that situation, and enjoy the open road.
All the best.
2006-08-18 13:12:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there anything else that you're not including in this story? I only ask because I don't see anything in your behavior that would be considered "wrong." Obviously, he was late in returning your car. That's disrespectful to you, it's YOUR car. Second, you were not proactively seeking the "better bed" by simply being taller and acquiesing to your great aunt's considerations -- it IS her house, after all. And, regardless of the who sleeps where, you all should abide by her wishes while in her house. So, that being said, I simply cannot imagine why anything you did would be construed as disrespectful to your uncle. Does he have some sort of traumatic back injury that requires him to sleep on a bed? If he is really overreacting to having to sleep on the futon in this way, I would say... he might have something else going on that is making him unreasonable. Why was he out later than anticipated, anyway? Makes me wonder, you know?
2006-08-18 20:02:45 · answer #2 · answered by Shibi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you were wrong. He was out later than he said he would be, so even if you had wanted to ask him, he wouldn't have been home in time. It's true that someone his age would probably fare better on a bed than a cot, but one night wouldn't hurt that much, and you could always switch in the morning. You also asked your great aunt and she reassured you it would be fine, so you were thinking about him, and its the thought that counts, right?
2006-08-18 19:57:40 · answer #3 · answered by Chlo Bell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it was ok and you did what your aunt siad to do and I think your uncle just being selfish and he should call you and said that he was comeing home later or something or call your and told you that he was ok. He was pissed off at the wrong thank Iam saying he disrespect you bay lieing to you and getting mad over nothing
2006-08-18 20:06:34 · answer #4 · answered by saniyamack14 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but your uncle has issues. He has some nerve to say that after you loan him your car, plus, he came back way past the time that he said he would. Plus, big fckn deal that you took the bed! He should be thankful that you guys even had a place to stay without spending money on a hotel.
2006-08-18 19:57:04 · answer #5 · answered by sweet_truth 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The bottom line is the owner of the house asked you a question and you told them the truth and the owner (great aunt and uncle`s) gave you this outcome. It is up to you if you are going to give the bady his rattle.
2006-08-18 20:00:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Generally, I'd expect a younger person to give to an older person. Such as giving up your seat to someone older. But in this case, it sounds like your uncle isn't much more mentally mature than you are, so I'd say you did the right thing. Respect has to be earned.
2006-08-18 20:00:08 · answer #7 · answered by kathy059 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Based on the narrative you've given, you were fine. I would even venture to guess that your uncle had been drinking as well, which only made matters worse and made good judgement on his part disappear. Irrational people are perhaps the most difficult to please, much less make amends with.
If you feel supremely guilty, offer thim to switch for the next night, and say "no" next time you are invited on such a trip.
2006-08-18 19:58:34 · answer #8 · answered by LEMME ANSWER THAT! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, let me get this right......your uncle "borrowed" your car, stayed out way past the time he told you he would be back. and HE is pissed because you took the "good" bed. he disrespected you, not the other way around. don't worry, you did nothing wrong.
2006-08-18 19:58:44 · answer #9 · answered by thesebootsaremadeforwalkin' 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you were right to have the better bed. He left. Since you are traveling like that with a relative and splitting the bills,I do not think that you were being disrespectful at all. You were taking care of yourself.
2006-08-18 19:57:16 · answer #10 · answered by Dianne T 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋