How can a person who has 'low self esteem' become confident without feeling fake or untrue to themselves?

Question

Becoming more confident takes effort and awareness of yourself and your habits but also requires you to act differently - not being yourself...so how can you be and feel more confident without feeling fake about it?

Answer 1

Will has made an interesting point (pay close attention to his second line).

The only way to truly break the habit to low self esteem is to work at it. Any human is capable of allot - if not most things - including space travel, acting fame or even running your own pizzeria.

I don't say this to distract the point, nor apply some cliché about how wonderful we could all be, but the point here is - you CAN do it, you just have to work for it.

Doing this is not easy. You may see a councillor, or go to bars, perhaps even join a public speaking club like Toast Masters International (www.toastmasters.org) if you wish, for after all these things might help.

See it as building your pecks (whether you be a male or female). You can go out and buy the electric pads which 'might' work but would seem fake and untrue. Alternatively - you could work on it, and sweat and cry and wake one day looking like God placed you on the earth just so people could look at you naked - or in this case, meet you, be fascinated by you, want to talk to you.

If you think about it, we all 'know' the answer to the question, but as we've surely heard at some point - "It's easier said than done".

Saying “Just be yourself” wont’ help for that raises ANOTHER problem; “Who am I?” and you don’t wana go down that road in a rush (leave it for midlife crisis or life threatening situations). Just continue as you are, but pause, breath, stop, and remember to “Always look on the bright side of life”.

Answer 2

Hi Lady J,

Man, if you and I can find an answer to this one, we could be so rich. This is the biggest, and I mean BIGGEST, problem facing the human race. It is the source of almost all of the problems we create for ourselves. Watching what people do to try to create a little respect for themselves is sometimes funny, and sometimes tragic. It is simply amazing, how low we are willing to stoop, to try to get a little admiration and attention from others. The main problem, is that we are looking down the wrong ally, so to speak. Every person born on this world, has an empty spot in the middle of them. As long as it stays empty, we just don't feel right. There is only one thing that fills it perfectly, but it is the last thing we usually look for. We try to fill it with popularity, money, beauty, drugs, alcohol, religion. The list is almost endless, but the one thing we need, is the last thing we try. It is God. I don't mean the church, relligion god. I mean the Real God. The One, who made you. He created you with a place right in the middle of you, just for Him. All of us, are uncomplete, until we ask Him to come into that spot, and fill it up. When we have had enough of the pain, and foolishness of trying to make it without Him, and invite Him into our hearts, He sends His Spirit into us. We become new creatures, part mortal, part Immortal. That old "Low Self Esteem Problem" just kind of goes away. When we begin to realize how much our Father really loves us, what the world thinks, just doesn't matter anymore. There is nothing in the Universe that God loves more than you. I mean it. I know, because I have been to both ends of the self esteem spectrum. I have been to the "worthless" end, and I am at the "Precious Child" end now. Don't take my word for it. Ask your Father, what He thinks of you, and you just might get the surprise of your life.

Answer 3

it is possible to fake confidence but even harder to get it back up again for real....

you need to find a way i which you can feel better about yourself, even if it is a little small thing such as a tiny compliment on something you have done or can do....

it depends where the low self esteem comes from, and why you aren't very confident as only things relating to that can boost your confidence back up....

dont try and be someone you are not, if youa rent very outgoing or confident dont so it to fit in, people should like you for you not for who you can rpetend to be....

:)

Answer 4

sorry but being confident does not mean being someone you are not. the first thing is to start liking yourself for who you are. if you are not athletic, dont play sports. if you cant sing, dont. do only the things you like to do, that is not fake. it is a struggle to be who you are and be confident, it takes time. but by no means should you do anything that is not you.

Answer 5

go see a counselor

Answer 6

you honestly stop giving a crap what other people think...