i am 17 an am 23 weeks pregnant an the baby's father doesn't want any thing 2 do with it!is that a big problem

Question

i found out i was pregnant at 5 weeks an convinced my self to tell the father that day.we tried to talk but it wouldn't work all he wanted was for me to abort.i told myself i was ready i am against abortions.i am scared of my baby not having a father,now i have an old boy friend wanting to help me out.should i let him?even though it's not his kid?plz some one tell me!!!

Answer 1

wOW, THIS BASTARD IS TRULY COLD & UNCARING & NOT WANTING TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HIS ACTIONS. iT APPEARS YOU ARE TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTION & NOT KILLING THE LIFE OF ANOTHER & I APPLAUD YOU FOR THAT. iT WILL NOT BE EASY TO RAISE THE CHILD ALONE & IF YOUR FRIEND IS FOR REAL THEN ACCEPTONG HIS HELP IS NOT A BAD THING BUT DOES NOT LEAVE THE TRUE FATHER OFF THE HOOK & MY SUGGESTION IS TO NAME NO FATHER ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE , TAKE A PATERNITY TEST AFTER THE DELIVERY & MAKE HIM RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT WHICH HE WANTS TO TAKE NO RESPONIBILITY FOR. tHIS IS HIS CHILD TOO & YOU SURELY WOULD NOT WANT TO LIVE WITH A BASTARD WHO GETS YOU PREGNANT & LEAVES YOU BUT TAKE HIS MONEY FOR THE HELP IN RAISING THAT CHILD & ONCE AGAIN I APPLAUD YOU ON YOUR DECISION NOT TO TAKE A HUMAN LIFE JUST BEACAUSE YOU MADE THE MISTAKE OF TRUSTING AN UNCARING BASTARD

Answer 2

That is a huge problem...a child needs his mother AND FATHER. If someone is willing to be a male figure in your childs life YOU BETTER accept that offer...as long as they are a good (productive) influence. If you're the better parent because your willing to do everything yourself than you should be fine, but don't degrade the babies father in front of him or make him feel like his father doesn't love him and stuff...he just isn't ready to be a dad and the baby shouldn't miss out on anything for that...but the father always will!

Answer 3

First of all, you need lots and lots of prayers. This is going to be very hard on you... a baby changes your whole life.

Second, if the old boyfriend is willing to help, what a wonderful person he is. And a much bigger man than the real father of the baby. I can't give you advice on whether or not to let the child think he is their father, only you can make that decision. But you need to realize (it's hard to remember this when you are so young) that every single thing you do and say will shape the person your child grows up to be. That is an enormous amount of pressure and, to me, one of the scariest aspects of parenthood.

I will say prayers for you, and hope everything will be wonderful. Good luck with motherhood!!

Answer 4

First of all you are too young to have a baby, but you know everybody makes mistakes and now you have to pay the consequence's. Secondly, I always told my friends don't let someone take advantage of you, and that is exactly what your boyfriend did to you. He used you and let you go. I know that you are scared of your baby not having a father, but if he chooses not to be in that childs life then you have to be both to that child. There are alot of children today that don't even know who there mother or father is, and its tearing them apart. Don't let you child grow up knowing that. Let your baby know that there is only one person who never will stop loving or caring and will always be there and that person is GOD. And about your old boyfriend... IF he wants to help you with this baby then let him. You are going to need all the help you can get. If your parents don't know that you are pregnant then you need to tell them and the sooner the better. We all make mistakes and now you have to pay up....

**If you feel that I have gave you some real good advice, if you don't mind please contact me by going to my profile and tell me what you think. I would really appreciate it. I'm only 15 years old and I want to be a social worker. So I have to learn how to give good advice and be there for people, and etc.**Thank You!**

I hope that everything goes well for you. You can contact me anytime you want I aint doing nothing anyway!

Answer 5

The baby's daddy is obviously a loser and your better off without him. Its understandable that you want your child to have a father growing up but not someone like that. Leave him alone. Theres probly a reason why this other guy is an OLD boyfriend. If hes a good person and someone that you can genuinely trust, let him help you. Now is most likely the time in your life when you need the most help.

Answer 6

Tuff question. You can use the help if it's genuine everybody no matter how good a parent can use a couple of kid free minutes. You;ll have to look at the guy as a person and not an ex bf. Is he a good person and is he someone you'll want your kid to spend time with and teach things too.

Your already a strong mommy for deciding to go it alone in the first place. Just keep putting your babies best interest at heart and you'll be great. Don't forget to take care of mommy too!

Answer 7

If he doesn't want anything to do with it, let it be his loss. Just don't make a mistake and let him back into your life after the baby is born. Let your old boyfriend help you. If he's interested in helping you during such a trying time in your life, he obviously cares more about you than the baby's father does. Don't be afraid to risk letting your old boyfriend back into your life. Who knows what could happen?

Answer 8

YOU HAVE HIT A ROAD BLOCK IN YOUR LIFE.. ALLOW THOSE THAT WANT TO HELP WITH THE BABY, HELP.. THOSE THAT DO NOT LEAVE THOSE PEOPLE ALONE..I UNDERSTAND THAT IF YOUR EX WANTS TO HELP, BUT REMEMBER WHY IS HE AN EX ANYWAY... YOU ARE ONLY 17 WHICH MEANS, HE IS PROBABLY 17-24. HE IS PROBABLY STRUGGLING JUST AS HARD AS YOU.. I HOPE THAT YOU KNOW THIS IMPACT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE... I HOPE THAT YOU HAVE FAMILY AND FRIENDS THAT CAN HELP YOU OUT.. PLS DON'T FEEL LIKE A FAILURE, BUT ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT ADOPTION IS AN OPTION.. DON'T LET THE CHILD GROW UP ALWAYS IN NEED.. PLS DO NOT USE THE KID AS A PAWN TO GET EVEN WITH THE BABY'S FATHER... YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO BE KNOW AS SOMEONE'S "BABY MOMMA". FINISH SCHOOL AND GO TO COLLEGE.....AND USE BIRTH CONTROL OR JUST DON'T DO IT UNTIL YOU ARE READY FOR SUCH A BIG RESPONSIBILITY......GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS

Answer 9

It's his (the father's) loss. Not having a father around isn't a death sentence by any means. Accept help and support from family and friends when you need it, but don't get your heart in a knot about his reaction. He may change his mind after the baby arrives, and if he doesn't, your son or daughter will still have you.

Additionally, whatever you do, DO NOT let your desire for your child to have a father figure lead you into bad relationships. Better a stable single mom than an unstable string of boyfriends.

Good luck, and CONGRATULATIONS on your baby!

Answer 10

It seems as if your old boyfriend really cares and I think you should let him help you out. You need people around and you need support. As for the babies father make sure he signs that birth certificate. He will need to pay child support and that's the only way to get him too. Try talking to a counselor about it you might have to get a court order if he chooses to give up his rights. No matter what you are the mother and you do whats best for your child. GOOD LUCK

Answer 11

I would let your old boyfriend help you out even though its not his baby, at least your baby will have some type of father figure its funny how guys are so quick to lay down with a girl but as soon as they find out that they're are goin to have a baby...they dont want to have nothin to do with the girl. But good luck on everything and i hope you have a healthy and beautiful baby!