Been married 15 yrs now. 4 kids. Wife has never come looking for sex. She has great orgasms when we do have sex, but never comes looking for it. I know she doesn't cheat so don't go there please. Just sex is unimportant to her. but to me. damn if I dont jerk it, or have sex i would lose my mind. Frustrating for me. Getting tired of asking. yet she wonders why porn is now a turn on for me... any help from the ladies would be awesome
2006-08-18 12:19:09 · 8 answers · asked by lonely northern alberta guy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So you love Sex and she never has to ask because baby, you are always ready. I am unaware of how often you are getting it but it sounds like you get it from her often.
My point is, let her come to you even if you have to relieve yourself a few times before she comes asking for it.
If you back off she will notice and maybe even question you on it. Show confidence in yourself in the mean time and about the porn thing, it may very well turn her off. It does a lot of us. I personally don't watch porn but in the past I have seen it. It has never been a factor in our lovemaking though.
It sounds like if you stop watching it and also back off of her she will come to you. And hear me when I say , " Have confidence in yourself."
We women are complicated but in the end worth the extra effort. I hope this helps.
Also ways to show confidence:
Carry yourself well.
Take pride in your appearance.
Always have fresh breath. I hate it if the breath is not fresh!
Be attentive but give her space.
Do something sweet for her but don't go overboard. And know when you need to pull back. It is not a matter of playing games, it is a matter of feeling appreciated but on a level of equality.
2006-08-18 12:36:02 · answer #1 · answered by Nurse Betty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So 15yrs, well how old are your children and does she work besides at home? Have you ever considered that she might be really tired and just doesn't feel like having sex. Have you had a chance to have a heart to heart talk with her about how you feel?
Take time just to talk to her everyday and ask her how her day went, etc....... You might fine out that she has needs and wants to., she pro ably has some frustration also
But you should wine and dine her at lease once a week, make a date night every week, and see where that takes you. Good luck!
2006-08-18 20:29:15 · answer #2 · answered by nicknacpattymac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOT asking for it isn't a problem I have, so I don't get where she's coming from. Have you ever told her that for her to ask for your attentions would turn your crank? As for the porn...Ditch it! No woman wants to have to compete with the women in pornos after having 4 of your children! Trust me!
Take her to dinner (and I don't mean McDonald's), and over candlelight and wine, tell her how you feel...You may be suprised by her answers. Listen with your head and your heart.
Best of luck to you!
2006-08-18 20:36:55 · answer #3 · answered by midge 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have just explained why men are from mars and women are from venus.
The two of you need a meeting of the minds. You need more and better communication. You need to tell her what you just said right here. You need to listen to her answer. 4 kids...is she too pooped to participate? Is she no longer feeling sexy? Probably some of both and more. Talk it over...when you both are alone and all is quiet and the 4 kids are asleep or not around.
2006-08-18 19:26:31 · answer #4 · answered by J Somethingorother 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
romance and foreplay are the key. for so many years she has had sex your way. and that was to please u. but now you need to put more effort into her needs. that is why she is not interested. and also a selfish lover does not get all of the thrills and chills of sex if he is only pleasing himself. it really does take two if you are in a loving and caring marriage. so stop acting selfish and really grow up and be a man in the bedroom, please your wife put in the extra work.
2006-08-18 19:31:25 · answer #5 · answered by cmac 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MAYBE SHES TIRED AFTER A DAY W/ 4 KIDS OR MAYBE SHE IS TRUNED ON WHEN YOU ASK, MAYBE YOU SHOULD ASK HER !IVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 28 YRS IT TOOK ME 12 YRS TO ASK I WAS AFFARID HED THINK I WAS PUSHY COME TO FIND OUT IT TURNS HIM ON WHEN I TELL HIM WHAT I WANT AND HOW AND IF HE EVER BROUGHT PORN IN MY HOUSE HE WOULD SING LIKE A LIL GIRL!! TALK TO HER IF YOU LOVE HER AND SHE LOVES YOU YOU CAN WORK IT OUT
2006-08-18 19:55:11 · answer #6 · answered by Msdeb gee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
masterbate more and see if she will crave it after a while........ hope she not cheatin
2006-08-18 23:12:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to marriage 401.
2006-08-18 19:26:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋