Im not sure what im feeling for this guy??? im so confused its making me angry!!!?

Question

I was talking to this guy for about 2 months and i really started to like him but when i really got to know him he wasnt my type at all meaning he has not job no car and hes 20 years and really ghetto acting but im just still attracted to him i dont know why... i called it off with him about 2 weeks ago and i can not stop thinkin about him til this day i guess im just attracted to the bad boys cause thats what he is..he does drugs, drinks alot..... when we were together he would call me through out the week and disappear on weekends?? then call me on monday?. i know he really likes me because when i try to leave he'll hold me back or cry and i fall for that sh** cause its sad hes like all manly and ghetto and only cries for me??..........now after 2 weeks he sent me a message on myspace saying he misses me so i called him my mistake and come to find out he has a cell phone and hes getting money from where im thinkin his new boyfriend? but what does he want from me?? does anyone get me?

oh yeah another things is that when we are together its perfect we dont argue fight or anything and he doesnt ask me for anything so really hes not using me...i still like him why i have no idea i get excited when he calls and look at my phone to see if i missed his call normally im not like this at all....i dont know what hes done to me i never ever ever have problems calling if off with guys or just stop talking to them out of the blue for the simple fact that they just got on my nerves?? whats effin wrong with meeeeeeeeee

oh yeah thanks everyone for taking the time to read it and give me your advice i really appreciate it once again Thank You All :-)

oh yeah never slept with him just made out :-)

Answer 1

You can fall for all the bad boys you want, but they are STILL Bad boys, will take you for whatever they can, and when they use you up, will move on. Don't be silly. Bad Boys may be "exciting," but this guy is seeing others on the weekends..bet on it, is into drugs (that is a great enticement!), and ....well, you have to be kidding, right? It is just as easy to fall for someone who is going somewhere as it is a loser. This one is a lose, you know it, I know it. You are playing "shiney knight on a white charger," trying to save him from himself...forget about it! It doesn't work out that way. He will drag you down BEFORE you drag him up. Get real, and get out of there now. He cries...yea, right. He has this act down to an art form. If he were really interested in you, he would put his junk down, get a job, and move up and out in life. Trust me, it won't happen. AND i certainly hope you are practiciing safe sex...you have NO idea if this guy hustles to get his drug money. Good luck to you.

Answer 2

Definitely has some issues here. First of all, you admit you like that type of person, but you don't like that he fits the criteria (lazy, ghetto, pathetic, no job). He is only doing what you are letting him get away with (like a little kid, but older and he probably won't change). You are going to have to change for the better or give in to this guys "charms." He's at least a 2-timer so a committed relationship is down the drain and will sponge money from others. That should be clue enough to leave him where he belongs, in the gutter. If not, don't be surprised if he drags you down there, too, and then leaves you for his next prize or piece of meat. He's done this before and he'll do it again. It's your choice; so make it a good one and live with it.

Answer 3

Hey,

There's nothing wrong with you -- you are actually in love. There is nothing better in the world.

I would worry about the drugs -- and would not tolerate violence, but if I were you, I'd go for it.

I've been with my partner 15 years in 4 months time. When he was 17 he tried to seduce me and when I was too dense to work out what he was doing he humped my leg. We have been in love and together ever since. He took drugs when we got together, and far worse than drinking, which I can tolerate -- he smoked. We talked, communicated, worked out that we wanted to be together. He stopped the drugs once we committed, and then, laboriously and with more difficulty - over time, stopped the tobacco. We are happy, we love each other, and everything is wonderful.

Don't be angry at yourself and don't discard him just because he's had a rough time getting where he is. He might get better with love and help.

That would require a lot of selflessness on your part though -- so think about it - - and IF you are willing to be that selfless, then talk to him at length and find out if he wants this too -- lay your cards on the table -- "are you playing me or are you in love with me?" see what happens.

Dwell in peace.

Regards,

Reyn
[e-mail]

PS To suchfun, you know, I didn't intend to add my full regular signature block -- but there is always someone like you -- someone trying to destroy, to damage and to harm. If anyone has even the slightest thought that anything that suchfun and those like her say has any validity -- please go to the website I maintain and read the pages under Bible THOROUGHLY -- at the very least. Thank you http://www.rebuff.org

Answer 4

I understand your angry. You should be. This guy is not treating you well. He has not been honest to you, and he probably has been cheating, too. You have to let go of this relationship before it gets any worse. He is a bad influence to you with all his vices. You seem to be a nice person and I really think you deserve someone better. A good relationship is something that inspires you to be a better person, and he does not do that. Break it up with him before it's too late.

Answer 5

There are too many boys out there with no jobs and plenty of money for booze and drugs. You know what? That money comes from somewhere. He spells trouble to me.

There may be some true attraction for you, but you might also be his "safe space" when its all about to close in on him. You don't want that life for yourself, so you need to tell him he can call you when he has his act together, but in the meantime, you're moving on. Then stop checking your phone for his calls, better yet, don't answer when he does call! MOVE ON.

Answer 6

Hmmm...You didn't SLEEP with him, by chance, did you?

That typically changes something in the attachment game...Also, this guy is using negative reinforcement (whether intentional or otherwise)... he's inconsistant with his affections, or even his presence...

Do yourself a favor and keep him at arms length...Just because he's not using you AT THE MOMENT, doesn't mean he won't in the future... And NOBODY who abuses drugs or alcohol is gonna put you first in their life; the drugs/drinks come FIRST...then you, then everyone else.

Been there, done that; trust me, it's not worth it...

Answer 7

Wow! Total infatuation. It's a kewl feeling, but, you know it's wrong. I can't tell you what to do, you lead your own life.

My suggestion is to cut the ties altogether and move forward. You'll look back to this time and see how foolish you were. Consider this a growning pain/experience and learn from it.

Good luck to you.

Answer 8

if this "boy" makes you feel bad sometimes and angry, stop seeing him and look for another boy who makes you feel better. In a relationship you should be happy with the other person, not sad or angry. If this relationship affects you in a bad way, then, go away and find another according to your feelings.

bye and good luck

Answer 9

Alright MAN! tHIS GUY is a player...He demands affection from more than one person in order to feel good..You must ask yourself, "Who is it that never lets you down, Who is it that gave you back your crown..And are you going around...And they are handing it over handing it over??

Think about this...

Answer 10

Leave him alone. Your eternal salvation is at stake. Better to obsess over God than another person.