She has known how I feel. there has been a physicality to this relationship. last night she informed me that she had met someone and has started dating him. She asked me for my blessing. After I told her once again how I felt and that she was my friend first and foremost I told her that if this is someone that she thinks may lead to something more and would make her happy, I would embrace it and step back. I told her that her happiness is what I am most concerned with and If I couldn't give that to her then I would do what she asked. She still wants us to maintain a friendship. Is this possible? I feel so strongly for her and loved her enough to let her go. Can I maintain a friendship. What happens when the other guy finds out about our past? We were such good friends that we did everything together. Should I step totally away and give her the space she needs to let this new relationship grow. I told her that our friendship would change and that upset her. I need help!!!!
2006-08-18 11:36:10 · 17 answers · asked by willmiller99 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
My best friend fell for me when I was in high school, and though I kind of suspected it, I saw him as a good friend and was actually surprised when he came out and told me. We dated for a few months, but I didn't fully feel the same way he did and wanted to be friends again. Unfortunately things were never the same. I don't know if this is your case, but your probably gonna have to let her go. If later on in the years you continue your friendship, great, but I gotta tell you, be prepared for the worse.
Good luck
2006-08-18 11:52:58 · answer #1 · answered by hawt2trawt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Embrace it and step back.....and follow your own advice as stated above. I know it must be hard for you to let the love part of your friendship to be put in a box and locked up. Can you and her maintain a normal friendship? In must cases NO, not after having physically contact with each other. Don't worry about the other guy finding out about her past, she is a big girl and she will have to explain it to when the time comes. "You must step totally and way and give her the space, " that is your own quote.
She got upset about the friendship change, but did she take your feelings into consideration when she asked for your blessings?
She can't have you as her dessert and him as the main course!
A Triangle relationship will only keep getting worse for all!
2006-08-26 08:42:54 · answer #2 · answered by Mama Mia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah you should stay friends with her. Just because she has a boyfriend doesn't mean you can't be her guy friend. You love her, and she knows that. She knows that you love her enough to let her go on with some other guy. She'll need her own space from time to time, but don't completely leave the friendship. They can have their time, and you both can have your time. Your friendship hasn't changed besides the fact that it's known that you love her, it's not a big change though. She probably (and i'm not trying to be mean or anything, it's just a thought) started dating this guy, because she was trying to sort out her feelings for you in her head. If all fails in her relationship, you might be surprised that she turns to you (not as rebound dating) but as someone whose always been there for her and has always loved her.
2006-08-18 18:46:06 · answer #3 · answered by Allyson B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had the same experience. I was not able to be with her any more at all. Not because I was angry, I was just not able to stand to see her and not be with her knowing that she did not love me as I did her. I too want her to be happy, I also want to be happy. So I try my best not to think of her ( this is very hard) but if I see her or think of her knowing she is just a friend than I feel blue. I don't like feeling blue so I try to move on. I don't think I could stay just a friend with out it hurting a lot. So for her sake and mine I stay away. I hope for nothing but happiness for her. I just wish I was a part of that process and able to stay in her life. I just can't. I have to move on.
2006-08-26 17:17:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it can happen...but I don't know how deep you are with her. I had a friend, who became my best friend who had fallen in love with me, we've never engaged in sex, but we have made out. After he had told me several times that we couldn't turn our friendship into anything serious, he finally admitted to me that he was in love, deeply...I felt it was just a stall, because he knew I was wanting to start dating again, after 3months of being apart from my ex boyfriend. Than when I told him what he has said to me, and how it made me feel, because I too had fallen in love with him, but didn't see that we'd be good enough for each other that way...he started to date someone else and now he is married to her. So if you really want to stay friends...your gonna have to put all feelings aside. If you want to be with her, let her know for sure and its real...give her a promise ring or something to show her you are serious. But other than that, you'll have to let her go, especailly if you don't want to see her with someone else. I tried to accept my best friends girl, but all she ever did was play a jealousy trip. We have met and I was surprised and yet ticked at him for it, but I loved him so much, that I knew that I wouldn't make him as happy as he thought I would. I am greatful that he's happy now and living great. I wanted to stay friends, but she made him push me away. I accepted it and now I live without him.
2006-08-25 15:51:53 · answer #5 · answered by missbehave252002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happened to me! One of my best friends fell for me and things were just never the same, I couldn't hang out with him because I'd accuse myself (not to mention other people would accuse me) of leading him on. We stopped being friends. I feel really bad, but I felt so incredibly awkward when I'd think about it or hang out with him.
Maybe in the future we'll be friends, when all this passes. We're only 19.
As for you, I just don't know. Do what you think is right. There's always the future
2006-08-26 16:44:43 · answer #6 · answered by keep it real 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I know exactly how you feel. Something similar happened to me recently. STAY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!! You won't regret it. Don't risk you friendship. Tell her you still want to be friends. If she says alright, then good job. If not, then at least you gave it your best shot. Now you know like I do to think very carefully before risking a friendship you have with a girl.
2006-08-19 18:16:38 · answer #7 · answered by Bruce Lee Reborn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you standing back and watching this lady go out with some one else,is going to hurt a lot . If you are into silent suffering, and hoping, wishing, then you are going to get your fill. Perhaps you can totally step out of the picture, and let the dust settle. isn't the old saying if you love something set it free,if it comes back,its yours
2006-08-26 18:05:00 · answer #8 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Evidently your relation was not perfect at least for her, or she is trying to establish her identity as a woman, give her a space she ask you for. Remember that if you love someone you should let her go and if she will not return she was not for you.
2006-08-26 16:17:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wat you told her was the truth. Everything would change and when your around both of them You will feel very wired. Stay friends but dont expect things to go back lyk it use to. Do give her space and dont get involved with anything that he said or done to upset her you'll end up losing everytime. Good thing though wat cha did and say. But let her know also that she could always turn to you.
2006-08-26 18:11:55 · answer #10 · answered by Dominican angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋