my daughter gave birth to a child that was conceived thru rape, and could not bring herself to raise, so gave him to me at birth, i have full guardianship over the child. hes now 8 yrs old. he has always called me mommy till 15 minutes ago when he informed me that i was not his mom.
my question is -- how do i handle this episode with him?
2006-08-18 10:33:06 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Tell him the truth (leave out the rape part he's only 8). The child knows anyway AND if you don't tell him the truth your credibility with this boy will be totally shot for the future. Answer ONLY the questions he asks and with minimal details. The rest will come out as he gets older. When he stops asking questions you stop volunteering information (matter of fact don't volunteer anything he doesn't ask).
2006-08-18 10:41:15 · answer #1 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very very very carefully. I would sit him down and explain to him that no you did not give birth to him, but that does not mean you are not his mommy. explain that a mommy is the one who loves you, raises you, looks out for you, takes care of you, calms your fears, dries your eyes, and is always there for you. At eight he is not going to understand all the reasons so I would keep it short, sweet, and simple. He may not understand it, give him time and do not take it to heart. I am sure he still loves you and will more than likely understand in the end that you are in fact his mom. I hope this helps.
Just my 2 cents worth
2006-08-18 17:42:43 · answer #2 · answered by capbarrow2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well techincally, it is your daughters son. you just have full gaudarinship over the son. i know it hurts to hear that. he is only 8yrs old and doesnt know what really is going on. but if the son knows the real mother is your dauther than sit with both your dautehr and the son and talk it out. i know it will be hard for everyone to hear such news. im sure you feel very down now that the son said that. but you need to understand your daughter is the one who gave birth to the son. sorry, hope things goes
2006-08-18 17:43:38 · answer #3 · answered by janella 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well he's 8 years old. Maybe someone told him something that could make him believe that. I think you should tell him something
but not the rape part. Actually talk to your daughter first about it.
And see how she feels. Good luck hun!
2006-08-18 17:42:11 · answer #4 · answered by ash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋