I love him dearly but I find it so hard to be nice, I get wound up so easily and take it out on him and feel so guilty afterwards but can't seem to stop it.
Have had a baby 9 months ago and have a 2 year old, I was treated for post natal depression after my 2 year old ,do you think depression could be the reason or am I just a ***** who takes advantage?
2006-08-18
10:28:11
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14 answers
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asked by
Gypsie
5
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Reuban your a pr!ck.
2006-08-18
10:37:30 ·
update #1
P.s MEN, you have no idea about post natal depression and one day, when your old enough to have kids then your lady could suffer with it too so don't make hastey remarks!
2006-08-18
10:39:33 ·
update #2
also have a 6 yr old.
2006-08-18
11:03:53 ·
update #3
insincere....I don't blame my kids one bit.
2006-08-18
11:06:24 ·
update #4
i don't think you are behaving like this to be unkind. maybe he is not giving you enough help with the kids or you feel undervalued in some way and your behaviour is actually resentment? it sounds to be like you must be very busy and VERY stressed, especially with a 9 month old and a 2 year old. do you know and trust anyone that could babysit for a night or maybe your parents could have the kids for a weekend or even just a day? it sounds to me like you could do with some time, just the 2 of you, and remind yourself why you love him, put that magic back in the relationship. don't give up hope, my sister in law went through a terrible time with post natal depression but when she eventually made it out the other side, she is now very happy, loves the kids and has a great job, and her relationship with my brother is doing fantastically now too. there is light at the end of the tunnel. just remember the person you were before you became a mother, there is more to you than kids. good luck hon and keep smiling. x
2006-08-18 11:46:05
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answer #1
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answered by Summer Rain 2
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Awe, your not a b**** who takes advantage, cause you know when your doing it and admit it, you have two children and that is hard going on any woman, I bet your tired out half the time too, is there anyone you can trust to have the kids for a weekend, even if you can't afford to go anywhere a bit of quality time alone with your boyfriend will do you both the power of good, did you beat yourself up when you had PND with your first child, are you trying to deal with too much now and not admitting you could do with a bit of help medically, its not anything to be ashamed of you know, maybe you have got yourself into a state thinking you are some failure if you admit you could have PND again, your a human being and having a baby is a big thing, why don't you just tell your fella how your feeling, sit him down and just say everything to him, he obviously loves you so much and will support and understand you, stop trying too hard and just be yourself, try a bit of time on your own, hope things get better for you and good luck.
2006-08-18 10:47:03
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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It could be partly that you're suseptible to the 'baby blues' as post natal depression is also known. You could be run down, maybe iron deficient after pregnancy, or plain old tired as you've got two little handfuls there at 2 years and 9 months. Does your bf help around the house? A problem shared is a problem halved, and gives you time together when the youngsters are settled. Try these suggestions and see if any can be eliminated. Talk to your health visitor at the baby clinic.
2006-08-18 10:40:12
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answer #3
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answered by xbkw46 4
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If a stranger stands on you foot at a bus stop you apologise to them, but if your partner/kids say or do something slightly wrong in our eyes we bite their heads off!
these are the people we love not a total stranger,
as the saying goes we always hurt the ones we love,
tell him your fears and woes if he loves you as you say he does then he will understand, then come up with a trigger word that you/him will say when you kick off over nothing, this will make you take stock of the situation which will be better alround especially if the kids are about!
Good luck Babe xx
2006-08-18 12:04:32
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answer #4
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answered by sponner62 2
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Bit of both I think. You must be tired with 2 small children of that age. It will get better . I don't think it is depression at all. The situation with the children will improve but if you carry on like this will your boy friend be around to see it??. He sounds like a nice person see if he can give you more help. At least you know things aren't right so talk to him before it is too late.
2006-08-18 10:45:07
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answer #5
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answered by Dolly Blue 6
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If you are sharing the childcare the children should be a stress for both of you; probably more for the mother but babies find it easy to be enough stress for two (or five or seven).
If your boyfriend is happy for you to be horrible to him, you have no reason to stop. Bitching at each other may suit the pair of you now, but how are you going to cope when you don't have your children to blame any more?
2006-08-18 10:52:26
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answer #6
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answered by insincere 5
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You might have depression but sometimes I feel like that with my boyfeiend to... What helps me is everyday I think of 5 good reasons why I love my man for example, because he sticks threw the hard times with me and still loves me, and because he helps me out around the house. and that might help but maybe you should see your doctor about taken medicine for your depression.
2006-08-18 10:49:56
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answer #7
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answered by tabatha1333 4
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Too often we blame everyone around us for our problems when what we really need to do is look at ourselves. hard. We need to truly deal with those harsh memories back there, because where there's smoke there's fire. In other words we have been programmed from our past with how to react to current situations. Unlearn them, deal with them, stop believing lies about yourself.
2006-08-18 10:44:15
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answer #8
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answered by Brendon B 2
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I do this with my wife, I can only put it down to being un-happy with my life and taking it out on her.
I occasionally relapse but it's a conscious desicion to stop being an **** and show love and affection instead and be happy with my life.
If you are un-happy try and work out why and get it sorted.
good luck.
2006-08-18 10:49:57
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answer #9
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answered by Mickenoss 4
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I do not know, but I have a future X girl friend that does the same thing, and i could not be any better to her!
2006-08-18 10:38:33
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answer #10
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answered by jefgreen237 2
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