if I'm not in the mood he asks for "other" things. If I'm not in the mood for "it", I'm not in the mood for anything. I try to please him as much as possible, but there are some times I just don't want to. Is it wrong for him to pressure me even though we are married?? Or should I just give in and "play" whether I feel like it or not???
2006-08-18 10:13:04 · 18 answers · asked by luvRoush99 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Personally, being married myself and being a man, I don't believe in pushing my spouse into having sex. If she says no or even just doesn't seem interested then I respect her choice and I don't worry about it. A marriage is about two people, not just one and sex is not what makes a marriage. In your case you shouldn't feel pressured to perform just because he wants you to. If anything, if he respected when you didn't want sex you might actually be more wanting of sex and more aggressive about it when you felt like having it.
2006-08-18 10:20:57 · answer #1 · answered by rkrell 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
It depends I think... If you say no all the time, to everything he suggests - then, from his point of view, he's not being accomodated... I mean, if he wants to have sex every day, and you're only "in the mood" once a week or so, perhaps you could strike a balance, and you could try and accomodate him every other day (whether you're "in the mood" or not). But if you feel you're already accomodating, and he constantly wants more, regardless of how you feel - perhaps it would help to discuss both of your needs and wants. Either way, a compromimse should be found.
2006-08-18 17:23:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to have a conversation about what each of you want out of that part of your marriage. To some people this is very important and not getting those needs met will lead to divorce. In fact studies show that the number 1 and 2 reasons that men divorce their wives is not enough frequency and not enough variety when they do it. It is also the number 1 and number 2 reasons for cheating.
This does not mean that you have to oblige every time. Each person has goals for their life, you need to be honest with each other and negotiate a solution you can both agree with. Counselling sometimes helps.
In short, respect yourself but understand the consequences of saying "no" too much. Don't fall into the trap of underestimating how important regular and varied sex is to some men. Good marriages have ended over less. Sure you could tell him to "grow up" or "deal with it", but beware that your next conversation may be over a lawyers conference table.
2006-08-18 17:23:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
your husband needs to understand u and its not normal to pressure u how are supose to enjoy sex when you not in the mood its wrong to be pressured your husband needs to go take a cold shower or u know
2006-08-19 08:56:47 · answer #4 · answered by Cat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If sex has become a chore, then its time to spice things up. Ask him to do things that get YOU in the mood. Have you tried any variation in your sex life? Sex toys, massage, erotic books or movies? Dont knock it until youve tried it! Good luck.
2006-08-18 17:24:43 · answer #5 · answered by Kit Kat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he needs to take you out to dinner and buy you a few drinks to really get you in the mood.
2006-08-18 17:22:02 · answer #6 · answered by puertoricout 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
its either you will or he'll find someone else who is willing.guys who are married always look 2 their wife to be their own lil personal freaks & that's not a bad thing.if he starts to get some outside of you ....look out!!!cuz the side p**** is going 2 do everything you're not in the "mood" 2 do..& that's real talk.
2006-08-18 17:25:13 · answer #7 · answered by n.o.boi 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell him to get you in the mood and then you will see
2006-08-18 17:19:52 · answer #8 · answered by hotmama 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes we males and female do things to please the other. And then there are times the mood is not there for some.
You should be pleased your husband wants you. Sometimes they don't and that could mean another is in the picture.
Talk to him. Express yourself. Then listen to him so he can express himself to you.
2006-08-18 17:25:26 · answer #9 · answered by Mit 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Rape- Having sex with a person agaisnt their will.
It doesn't matter whether your married or not. If one person does not want sex it is defined as rape. If you don't want to have sex tell your husband he has two hands, or hand him over a cup.
2006-08-18 17:21:58 · answer #10 · answered by 9987 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋