Ladies, would you be mad if......?

Question

Last nite I walked into a bar and surprised my husband. He wasn't the least bit pleased of my arrival, didnt even offer me a chair so that I could sit next to him, and ignored me up until I left. Later, I over heard him ask the FEMALE bar tender if he could do a "bodyshot" off her body. He denies he said that, but i heard with my own 2 ears. When me and my GF went to leave, I approached him to tell him I was leaving and that because he was wasted, I wanted him to come with me, he refused to leave, despite the fact that all his friends had left the bar by this time, and I was leaving, so he basically knew noone there. After 10 years of marriage, am I in the wrong to be mad about him wanting to do a body shot off another woman and do I have the right to be mad AND suspicious as to why he would want to stay at the bar by himself? (Well, the cute bartender was there). I ended up leaving him there. He's alot bigger than me, there is no way I could have forced him. I left in defeat

Answer 1

.
He went out drinking without his wife.
When his wife came in he ignored her
He flirted with the bartender about her body
He refused to go home with his wife
He was the last to leave the bar

Your GUT feeling told you correctly.
This man is either cheating, or wanting to.
Ask yourself WHY.
Has (the demon) pride overtaken both of you at home?

Subtly begin to reconnect with your husband in small ways, little touches, kisses, and being best-friends again...and if that doesn't renew the relationship noticeable within a couple of weeks to the level of intimacy again...then you have a real problem.

Talks, about boundaries, including NOT going out without each other ever again...
OR MARRIAGE COUNSELING are the next step.

You need to ask yourself why you did not put your foot down long ago, before he started going out without you to bars. OK, guy like to get together...but any guy that stays past dinner time, is a PLAYER.
I was a barmaid once, and I know the plays men do.

Take charge of this. Don't be afraid to put your foot down as to the boundaries you want in the relationship. Let him get a new respect for you.
stw
.

Answer 2

You are absolutely right! He showed you no respect, no respect for your marriage, and humiliated you all in one shot. It doesn't matter if he claims "he doesn't remember", what he did was truly intentional. Apparently, he needed to make an impression on the lady behind the bar. Who knows what's going on there. You're going to have to let him know that his behavior is not acceptable. I hate to try to tell someone what they should do with their marital situations, I am not a marriage counselor. However, you need to be with someone who will appreciate you, love you and respect you.

I am outdone about this. I have been cheated on, but my ex has always acknowledged my presence as a priority in his life. Even when we became separated, before the divorce, the girlfriend called herself being possessive in my presence, at the in-laws, he and I both set her a** straight. There are things that you don't do when you have that commitment with each other.

Your husband obviously has a strong drinking problem if he can't "remember" his actions while drinking. He also has no respect for you, I can't say this enough. If you feel you should seek counseling, that's a noble decision. Let me whisper in your ear: (nobody improves who doesn't want to improve, leave while you still have your dignity and sense of self worth).

I wish you the best of luck and future happiness.

Answer 3

This is why i hate when my husband goes out to the bars by himself or with friends. My advise to you... hes probably cheating (yeah, he is) and DUMP (DIVORCE!) THE SORRY *** LOSER!If I was in your spot...hed be gone in a heart beat. Not to even acknowledge you there? Not to offer you a seat beside him, no happy to see you and that you surprised him? Just there, shows he wants to be alone, and not have you around so he can do his thing. I believe he asked for a body shot. You heard it right?! I trust my husband n all, but I dont trust other women. But if I walked in the bar and my husband did all those things, id know he didnt love me and I would know right then and there I couldnt trust him. What a jerk. get rid if him.

Answer 4

No I would be mad too..can I ask why did you go to the same bar as him? You and your friends would have had a better time some where els and none of this would have transpired. That and he would have had his time out with his buds without feeling like you were watching his every move. If he still comes home to you and isn't cheating on you then all is good and let up alittle. Let him breath youare married but not joined at the hip he nneds his space as do you. Go live it up girlie and have a ball but not where he's playing cause thats no fun!!

Answer 5

I totally agree with Mike Hunt... I don't think you should be going to bars without each other in the first place. Me and my husband have an agreement to only go with each other. Going to a bar with out your loved one is asking for trouble, even if you aren't intending on doing anything. But yes, You have EVERY right to be pissed. I wouldn't ever let my husband live something like that down. It's not right, he should have asked you along. Then everything would have been fine. I wouldn't put up with that bullsh*t.

Answer 6

i am 23 and i not married but i must say GF that your husband is either cheating on you or he has intentions if he hasn't started as yet. giving them an ultimatum doesn't always work either. you have to be brave and strong and do what you think is best for you. think about the way that you are feeling and truly decide if you can ever trust him or if every time he leaves you become suspicious. if it is the latter one then relieve yourself of the stress.
this is just advice in the end it all depends on you and what you decide.

GOODLUCK...i am cheering for you.

Answer 7

u have every right to be mad and suspicious. He should be wanting a body shot off of u and not the bartender and he probably wasnt happy of your surprise b/c he wanted to do something while u werent there. You should have a serious talk to him.

Answer 8

you are not wrong for feeling how you feel whether you have been together 1 year, or for 10. marrage is marrage, and if he knew no one there, he probly was there for the bartender. that is very low of him. if i were you i would have stayed there until he left just so he couldnt have what he wanted. there is no telling what he did after you left. he deserves a hard smack in the face.

Answer 9

HELL YES!!! my husband did that to me one time when i found him at the bar sitting a little too close to a nasty female. i was 14 days away from having our baby. when i went to leave oh he followed but told the ho" he would be right back". i did leave him there. when he got home and was sober, i flat out told him if i catch him at the bar again, i would leave with the kids and he wouldn't even know i knew about it till he came home. I havn't caught him there again!!

Answer 10

I would have packed his **** and left it outside and changed the door locks no matter what time it was.If my husband ever starts wanting to go to bars and not come home i will leave in a heartbeat thats a dealbreaker.