Am I boring my husband or is he just that tired?

Question

We have been married for 7 years and have a 1 yr. old little girl. My husband works a regular 8 to 5 executive job and I stay at home. I take care of our little girl, cook, clean, laundry, do bills and manage our investments - so I am busy and tired too. But every night after an hour of TV or so we go to bed and I look forward to some adult conversation - but if we aren't talking about sex or he isn't expecting to get sex - he falls asleep in the middle of me talking to him. If sex is on the table, he is awake, but conversation from me and he is OUT. What's up with this? I have a college degree, read and stay up on current events, politics....I don't talk about shoes or makeup or gossip - what is going on????

Answer 1

Hello Heather, it sounds like the two of you may have fallen into a bad pattern or a rut! He works all day and so do you! I'm sure that by the end of the day you want nothing more than adult conversation. Try to mix things up a bit. Since he is so excited about sex, start by talking about what the two of you can do but then go off on to something else for a bit. Make him wait! He needs to understand that there is more to his wife than jus sex!
I realize that this may not be the best way to do things but use it as a starting point. If possible, see if the two of you can get out alone for a nice dinner out! There you can talk to him about how you are feeling and your needs as well as his!
The more the two of you can talk, the better things will become both sexually and otherwise! Make him understand this and your relationship will get back to where it was when you first met.
Good luck

Answer 2

Me and my wife have had similar problems. When we work either in the Field or in the office we talk all day to people. and when we get home rest is the main priority. When we had our little set back. I would get home, just started a new high stress job, I was to tired for even sex. My Wife admitted that she almost left me. To make a long story short save the conversation for the supper table and the bed room for sex and rest.

Answer 3

He is a man dear. That is all.

May I suggets for you to speak with him during the weekends or at the dinner table, but not when he is tired after coming back from work or while in bed.

Good for you that you leave the girlie talk out of the conversation. You are a very smart lady.

You know him well, see what kind of stuff he is interested in, even if such topics are not your cup of tea... Sports? Muscle Cars? Comic books?

A safe subject could be of things of his generation... cartoons, candy, music, movies that remind him of the good 'ol times. Bring out his HS year book or his childhood pictures to engange in stimulating conversation.

With the news nowadays, it's kinda hard to have a relaxing conversation, try other subjects that may interest you both,

Good luck

Answer 4

Maybe you can pick a different place/time for a conversation? He seems to have a Pavlovian association of bedroom with sleep or sex. Some people fall asleep when they hit the pillow, it's not their fault. But perhaps you could go out for a "date" every once in a while, I would be hard-pressed to imagine him falling asleep in a restaurant, or while walking around at a park.

Answer 5

You have a lot of really great answers here and the bottom line is, Marriage is never easy. It takes a lot of care and nurturing.

And creativity as well. Learn to relax and enjoy your time together but above all. "Take the needed time for your self to feel great about you inner beauty as well as the outer beauty." This can mean getting up early and going for a walk alone to making sure you don't miss that hair appointment. I know how we Mommy's put ourselves to the bottom of the to do list. And the longer you let it go, the easier it is to make excuses. So start with yourself. ~ Best wishes~

If you feel good about you he will notice it and become interested. It doesn't mean he is not now, he does just need to be recharged. Life's up and downs get the best of all of us. Don't take it personal.

Answer 6

Don't talk in bed or with the television on. My wife tries to have conversations with me at night lying in bed. I find I am either drifting asleep or paying attention to the tv when I trying to focus on her. I have talked to her about these distractions, but she says that she can multitask and that if she was important to me, I could so also. However, I find it a lot easier to talk with her if we are sitting someplace (living room or kitchen) without the tv on.

Answer 7

Men talk for different reasons than women do, and so it is not odd that he might have different needs when he gets home. One of those needs is not to talk, which he has done all day.
Give him (and yourself!!) the juicy lovely sexy sex you both deserve and overtime work things so that he begins to give you what interests you most, talking.
Just make sure that when you do talk, it is not to complain, whine, or dump frustration. Share your concerns if you have them, and that is fine, and then get back to the sack :)

Answer 8

TIRED ????? He has an 8 - 5 executive job for pete's sake !!!! That means he does NOTHING vigorous to be tired from. It just sounds like he's bored with the whole relationship to me. I babble with my gf all the time just because I love talking to her about anything.............

Answer 9

It sounds to me that maybe the conversation ends up to be the same old thing time and time again

Answer 10

You need to do more things together to get excercise. I'll bet you feed him and he dies on the couch. Exercise is the key here. Get some on the weekends now or get old.