Help! My husband and kids are driving me nuts!?

Question

My kids go around all day saying they need, need, need. That's expected - they're kids. My husband, who works nights, tells me all the time he loves me and how much he wants me. So that's good, right? How come it feels as if everyone around me only needs more? I give love, I give everyone what they need. I try to talk to my husband but it's like he turns off his hearing if I'm talking about anything other than sex anymore. How can I get him to have a real conversation with me? He's mad at me right now. He just left for work. I was dealing with the kids, who were all arguing, and he started in with the "you need to come in here and bribe the kids with ice cream". I'm trying to keep peace with the kids and he wants sex. He never tries to ask me my opinion on aything any more. All he talks about is sex and work. I'm glad my husband loves me and wants me. We've been together for 10 years. But - now I think he needs to start listening to me. What do you think?

to any one here saying I don't discipline the kids obviously doesn't have any of their own. I am with the kids night and day. and to the onw that said I should be glad to just have a husband, needs to find one. My husband should be glad he found someone crazy enough to help him spread his dna further into another generation.

Answer 1

OMG, there is someone out there who sounds just like me. I feel for ya honey! Our situations seem like they've cloned themselves and one went to your house and one came to my house! You need some "ME" time and just take it. I recently booked a flight to NY to see my friend. I will be gone for 5 days, and I am going BY MYSELF. Then my husband will see all I do for him and the kids and this household. I am hoping he better appreciates my existance. If that dont work, then who knows. Maybe we should exchange emails and be pen pals or something so we can vent and share advice....who knows. LOL!!! Good luck, I totally understand where you are coming from.

Answer 2

You two are fine, you're merely a little crazy. Every married couple with kids suffers from that. All you need are perfect kids, a perfect husband, and to be perfect yourself. Simple. But, since perfection doesn't exist, there isn't really a good solution. You two love each other, so you are doing better than many couples. As for the kids, good luck. I know, from personal experience, that it isn't a good idea to fit them with shock collars- the neighbors gossip. And, those pesky fire laws rule out the locked pit under the basement, darn thing took me a month to dig. Seriously, you'll get through this. My baby is 32, and my twitch is just about gone, and my ulcer seldom bothers me. You ARE making a tactical error though. You are allowing your husband to escape his share of child care. This point MUST be gotten across. But, no, you can't use a club. He needs to realize that IF he helps you more, you'll be more interested in sex. Right now, you are faced with about the hardest time- end of summer vacation. But, school starts soon. Then, you gotta talk to hubby. We aren't impossible to communicate with, we're just very difficult. But, it's gotta be done.

Answer 3

So far you need everything that everyone has suggested, pro sac, vacation etc..after ten years of this a husband would think this is the norm and expect or submit that things will not get any better than what it is right now...and for you to think that you have done your part now its his turn...no no no...it doesn't work that way...after 10 years you BOTH, have allowed things to get out of hand and your kids are all to familiar on how to push moms buttons, and all that kind of mentality does is urge them to be more manipulative because that's how you get mom to give in...this is serious, been there done that and not all of it turned out fine...between the two of you, mom & dad, your at wits end...and if it took all your wits to get this far with such poor results you need a hand, seek family counseling, discuss with your husband and try to convey this isn't just your problem it all your problems..a therapist will recognize useful method to bring peace and harmony into the family unit...good luck.

Answer 4

Sounds like your lives have gotten in a rut and is just falling into the same routine all the time. This is pretty normal and it is needed to some degree so that everyone can deal with all that life throws at us. However, it is bad for relationships because they require work and they need stimulation to keep them going. The first thing I see here is that you and your husband don't have any time to just be together other than when your having sex. You two need to come up with regular activities where you can do things as adults and just enjoy each others company and get back to having a more complete relationship. You need time to walk around the block holding hands, time to sit and watch the sunset, time to just be two people in love who need to hold each other and connect.

Answer 5

all moms feel this way at some point in time my husband is as good as gold but he really doesn't get it sometimes.He is great but he doesn't hear me I think its a man thing i have learned to accept it.I will talk and then kinda drop it now and he seems to respond better to what i said rather than having a long drawn out conversation bout the kids it works for us.We have a blended family so it has been very hard but after my fits and crying I decided to talk when the kids were not around and make myself clear without being hostel.maybe you could try that.good luck

Answer 6

First of all you need to stop spoiling your kids. Make rules and stick by them, if they break the rules then have consequences. You need too stand by it. STOP GIVING IN TO YOUR KIDS. Then you and your husband need to sit down and talk, get on the same wave length. So that you are on the same page. Your children are walking all over you, and they no that they can do it. Be the parent and tell your husband he needs to get on the band wagon with you. Otherwise you are going to be in divorce court because this will break up your marriage.

Answer 7

If it helps....there's millions of women going thru the same thing as you. You need a vacation, you need a break from the kids, you need to be pampered.

Frankly.....you are sooo important that I can't even begin to explain.....you are the glue that holds everything together. You need to tell your husband exactly what you wrote on yahoo. You may have to repeat it and draw him a picture....us guys are really slow.

Good luck....

Answer 8

i think you need a bit of a vacation from all of them for everyone's benefit before it's "too late". on vacation you can better assess the situation. also, a bit of counseling to discuss options couldn't hurt. you'll be needing to think about major issues like responsibility, "selfishness", guilt, the meaning of life,etc. you are being given a wake up call concerning living life consciously rather than on "automatic". that's a big deal. best of luck! :-)

Answer 9

tip #1 do not try to figure men out
tip #2 do not expect to have meaningful conversations with your husband; that is what friends are for
tip #3 just **** his brains out and spend his money, that way everyone is happy

Answer 10

I think most of us feel that way. Very common. Try sitting down alone with him and telling him how you feel. I know very well how you feel. Try to be grateful for what you have. Thats what I try to remember. Be grateful your kids are healthy and that you have a husband.