We have been married for 14 year and have a 13 year daughter. We have been fighting and at the verge of separation all thru. The only reason why we did not get separated was our daughter. We were told it is not good for young kinds. Now it is kind of unberable. and I feel my daughter is old enough to absorb the shock. Is she really old enough? In another words what is the ideal age of a kid when his/her parents can get separated?
2006-08-18 09:18:03 · 10 answers · asked by The curious 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My ex and I separated when our girls were 6 months and 20 months old - they never really knew life any other way, so I would say that would be the "ideal", if there is such a thing.
At 13, your daughter is old enough to absorb everything - just as she has absorbed all the fighting that has gone on in your household. Divorce may not be the best thing for kids to have to go thru, but sometimes it is much better for them to be raised in two calm households than one crazy one. Just make sure your husband and you always remember to put her first, and not try to use her against each other.
Good luck in your separation - I hope the two of you finally find some happiness.
2006-08-18 09:47:09 · answer #1 · answered by thersa33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! This is the time in your daughters life that is the most critical. If you were to put her through a divorce right now you could potentially disrupt a lot of her core foundation, which includes safety, security and love.
This is probably the worst time to put your daughter through this. I suggest that you try marriage counselling and try to hold off for another few years.
She does not yet have the coping mechanisms to deal with things. In spite of the fact that teenagers today look, act, and talk like they are adults - they are still kids that are developing. It takes a long time to fully develop proper coping processes, and the fact of the matter is that you could potentially cause damage that lasts the rest of her life.
There is no ideal age for separation. Divorce hurts everyone involved, especially the children. I would say that it is easier to deal with if it happens early in the childs life - so that they don't know life any different; or if it occurs when they are adults (or late teens) - when they can comprehend what is going on.
2006-08-18 09:28:21 · answer #2 · answered by Kerr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no ideal age for a child to be. It is not healthy for you or your child to stay in a house where there is fighting and bickering all the time. The kids, even very young ones pick up on this and it can effect them in the long run.. If you are unhappy, she will know it, and it could hurt her. It is going to be hard on her no matter what, but why postpone what should have already been done? Good luck
2006-08-18 09:27:10 · answer #3 · answered by Just Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, the age of the child isn't nearly as important as the attitude and behavior of the PARENTS. A child can understand mom and dad are going to live apart, as long as they are secure in the fact that mom and dad love them, will always be there for them, and the parents don't use the child as a weapon, possession, or as a message board. Good Luck!
2006-08-18 09:57:24 · answer #4 · answered by working mom of 3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no child is old enough to deal with a parents divorce. she may be 20 and not ready to deal with it. Sometimes though you have to do what is best for you and do what needs to be done. i'm sure she will deal with a divorce better than the fighting.
2006-08-18 09:58:19 · answer #5 · answered by ♥mommy of 4♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was seperated when my daughter was 2. She has adjusted very well to it. I live in CO, she lives in AZ with dad. it works out very well for her, but that is with the support.
No matter what age you seperate or divorce, if you have family around that is positive, it is ok at any age.
2006-08-18 09:28:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not one. But I feel before they can remember the two together is best. That way they don't expeirence a lose and see life as normal to them. Now I'd wait till off to college.
2006-08-18 09:23:50 · answer #7 · answered by cindy s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is none. My parents got divored when i was 10, it took a while to get over it, but i did. My father wanted my mom to stay because of me, but she said that if she did, it would have only caused more bad than good. You just have to explain to her why this going to happen.
2006-08-18 09:49:16 · answer #8 · answered by baby_luv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don`t know of an ideal age. All I know is that you probably know your daughter better than what books say. You and your wife probably know that if you are completely honest with her, and don't lose touch with her she'll be fine.
2006-08-18 09:26:23 · answer #9 · answered by Nina E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think it matters how old the kid is. if you are unhappy. then leave. the father can have visitation.she is 14 she should be mature enough to understand.
2006-08-18 09:27:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋