Friend- a friend is someone how has your back. A friend is there to catch you when you fall and helps you back up. A friend is someone who you can tell EVERYTHING to….. Including who the new guy you like is, or you can talk on the phone with them for hours. They call you when your sick or feeling down. A friend is someone you can never loose! You might move away from each other and you might not talk as often, or not even talk at all. But when you think of all those good times you USED to have, you wish that you had that same friend back again. A friend is someone you truly love in your heart and if something ever happened to them, you would be right by there side helping them get through the hard times. Friends are hard to find sometimes…. So when you get one, close your eyes, hang on tight and let the good times roll. If you get off track try to find your way back again, and if you try hard enough you WILL meet again!!!
please tell me if its good or not...
2006-08-18 09:04:29 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
and please be honest!
2006-08-18 09:04:44 · update #1
I really like it...
2006-08-18 09:11:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's an okay poem- it's not the most original, but it does have some emotional value and power, and sentimentality. It does feel sincere and written from the heart.
I think that it is a little bit redundant, because it keeps saying "a friend is..."- but this is just my opinion. You might change that, if you like. Take it, or leave it.
It does feel sincere and heartfelt, and that is what truly counts. How long have you been writing? If you are just beginning the practice, then I would say that you are off to a good start. I'm not sure what your age is, but I would encourage you to keep writing. : )
2006-08-18 09:18:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As was said earlier, that is not truly in the form of a poem! An example of poem format would be...
FRIEND
A friend is someone who has your back
A friend is there to catch you when you fall
And helps you back up
A friend is someone who you can tell
Everything to.
Including who the new guy you like is
Or you can talk on the phone for hours
(and so on)
Even as a poem, it is very cliched and rather dull. Understand that poetry is more about what is not said, as in writing something using brief but beautiful verses and not just broken-up sentences.
2006-08-18 13:09:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good grammar and correct spelling suffer greatly in this creation of yours. Second to those are your constant use of trite expressions and clichés that detract from the message.
Your poem, as indicated by another poster, is not in a poem format at all. Further, your use of capitalized words runs counter to correct writing. Your question also attests that you need fresh instruction in basic English with the use in ellipses and punctuation.
May I suggest you find the book, "The Elements of Style," written by Strunk and White? The pocket-sized book is an excellent tool for novice and accomplished writer alike and it offers much needed information that you can put to use.
Continue to write, but research better writing skills.
2006-08-18 09:25:03 · answer #4 · answered by Guitarpicker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds more like an essay than a poem. You might try to pick a specific form or use imitation to start out and then work up to this type of free verse. Also, stay away from cliches because they make people stop reading.
2006-08-18 09:27:14 · answer #5 · answered by cocobean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The sentiment is there, but the form is not. You might want to research some of the longer poem types and work your poem into one of those. My personal favorite is the rondelle. It is actually pretty easy to write if you can find it online. I can't remember the exact specifications right now.
2006-08-18 09:50:45 · answer #6 · answered by katethefabulous 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not bad except " a friend is someone WHO has your back" The next line repeats the word "back" You said a friend is someone you can never loose? then further you wished you had them back ... this suggests you lost them. :) hope this helps you.
2006-08-18 09:58:43 · answer #7 · answered by heavenly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a guideline for judgement, how old are you? The subject matter seems to me to be a little immature, if inspirational for some.
2006-08-18 09:21:45 · answer #8 · answered by julia m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read it and it doesn't seem like a poem to me, it reads more like a diary......... sorry. But you are spot on about friends.
2006-08-21 23:20:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its very good, not excellent but very good
2006-08-18 09:10:48 · answer #10 · answered by vick 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋