People think that i don't take them seriously....?

Question

i don't know why i give the impression that i'm a snob and i don't take ppl seriously when deep inside i'm beggin for approval ...

my gf said that to me tonight, that she felt that i see her as a goofball, and don't take her seriously in general ... i tried to reassure her ...
but this is not the first time i get that comment from ppl that's why i'm asking..

to all ppl that say not to worry about what other ppl think / feel i say that it's virtually impossible for me to do that.. i try not to give it much thought but i keep getting back to that idea ....

Answer 1

I'm sorry, i know exactly what you mean. Although you're not trying to come off the way people view you, there could be a few things that you're doing. Have you stopped and taken a look at how you act towards people?

Maybe your body language is aloof. Do you cross your arms, or stand angled slightly away from them, or is there a LOT of space between you and the person you're talking to? Do you tap your feet when you're listening to someone talk? Do you slouch when you sit, do you not look the person in the eye that you're talking to? Do you drum your fingers on the table when you're in a conversation?

When you're talking to someone, do you sound non-chalant? Do you use a tone of voice that might sound sarcastic if taken the wrong way? Do you use words that can come off as cruel? Are you brutally honest, or dismissive, or cut people off when they're talking?

If you do any of these things, even without trying, try and break yourself from the habit if doing it. Even though you dont mean to come off as rude, or a snob, people will label you as a jerk if you do that sort of thing. If you're talking to someone in the future, make sure to smile and nod so they feel like you're listening to them, and taking them serious. If you have something to say back to them, use points that they made to enforce or counter your own ideas. It'll make them feel like you care and that you understand what they're saying. If you're sitting or standing up, make sure you're not slouching, that you're not tapping your fingers or feet, looking at your watch, and that your attention is on them. When you talk to them, keep your tone light and understanding, but keep it honest, because you'll sound like a pompous *** if you dont. Try not to sound condecending or like you've completely been there and done that, because honesty and real human interest is always the best. Overall, just be you.

Answer 2

Hmmm... are you shy, by chance? Because I am a very outgoing person, and when I approach someone new and talk to them and tease them and try to engage them in conversation, and they don't have much to say, it is instinctive to think "oh, that person's a snob" when that may not be true at all. I really liked the suggestion in a previous answer to try to pay more attention to yourself when you are talking to someone you don't know very well, and try to figure out if you are always looking away, or looking down, or answering questions with one-word answers, and not asking questions in return... Good luck. And, you are gonna look a long time if you are looking for approval and self worth from others. Gotta find it inside of YOU. I mean it. :)

Answer 3

Are you afraid of getting hurt in relationships and friendships, and therefore maintain a frosty exterior? Others don't obviously sense that you want to be liked or at least to gain their approval. If this is so, your frosty demeanor will take a while to melt, and require effort on your part, including an understanding of your own emotions. Quite a few people I think feel vulnerable inside but project a feeling of certainty through a distant or snobbish exterior. I may or may or may not have understood your situation correctly but it could benefit from some self-analysis and self-probing.

Answer 4

Are you shy or reserved? My mum who was a wonderfully caring and beautiful person often got called a snob because she was shy and reserved. Then she gave birth to me and until the day she died she said where did you get your extroversion from LOL . I talked to everyone, shared my opinions and didn't worry what people thought. Still don't.

But that may be why people think you're a snob because you're aloof and reserved on the outside. Inside you're a cocker spaniel right and want everyone to like you?

Answer 5

Are you sarcastic with people or do you poke fun a lot? Many people may think you're being serious when you're really joking, and if you say something that can in any way be perceived as criticizing them, they may think you have a superiority complex. If this sounds like you, be sure to poke fun at yourself too. Also, be careful with what you say and how you say it so you don't come off as condescending or critical. Good luck!

Answer 6

There are people born with the "Sin Upon me," syndrome. You may be one of them. That means they will never be accepted by others. Instead, they will always be attacked in some form, such as cruised by everyone else; they are always sinned upon.

If so, don't feel too bad; in turn they condemn themselves.

Answer 7

may be it's your body language. next time some one says something, try to look at yourself and see what they are talking about and fix it so next time they will see the change in you

Answer 8

Who told you about this 'impression' that you 'give' others??? Go ask them to discuss this 'reality' with you?

Answer 9

Dont worry about what peoples think.

Answer 10

ask the person who told you that why they feel you don't take them seriously. and work from there