My husband hit me for the first time after 11 years of marriage and he really punched me several times. He has never touched me before and I am in shock this man has never even raised his voice at me.I always said I would leave no matter what but we have 3 boys that we both love very much and one of our children is very sick and will need a new heart soon. I really think he is sorry but I cant let this ever happen again he has start seeking help and has alread gone to one session. I just cant trust him the same we had the perfect marriage I thought and now I am not so sure. My husband is a well educated man and I am a nurse so we both know this is all so crazy Please help me decide to stay or go?
2006-08-18 08:33:11 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is so not him he has never had a temper he is very good with our kids and normally I am a yeller and have always been but that has never made him do something this crazy
I also should say so much has changed for us we adopted our 2 younger sons in the last two years i have also lost over 200lbs I finiahed school and became a Rn our baby had open heart surgery and needs one more next mth so I am leaving the house for about 2 mths to stay with the baby in the hosptial, He also got a new job that he hates his grandmother is dying so we have a lot going on but now everything is worse. I am not happy anymore I am not scared of him at all and that may be bad all I want to do now is kick his ***!!!
2006-08-18 09:26:29 · update #1
Leave and do not look back
2006-08-18 08:39:21 · answer #1 · answered by sweet 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, first of all I wish you and your children (especially the one with the cardiac problems) all the best. Mom, you are a nurse; I have a nursing background, so I KNOW you know better. You children, if they didn't see him hit you, definitely know something is wrong. Children pick up these things without us being aware of it, even though we try our best to cover it up. They need to learn that hitting a woman (even once) is NEVER acceptable. And he didn't just hit you, he punched you several times. What the he**?! It is not going to help you children to see mommy and daddy together, but mommy is scared of daddy and doesn't really act the same with him anymore. Because you don't have the same level of trust, you are going to start arguing more. As well, you are now going to restrain yourself at times from saying what you truly feel in fear of what has already happened. And you know, since he has done it once, he won't have the same restraint from doing it again- especially if you accept it and stay with him. And regardless, if you stay, you are letting him know you accept it. Love yourself and your children more than you love your husband. Leave and focus on them and yourself.
2006-08-18 15:56:06 · answer #2 · answered by Queen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing, it got worse before I had to leave. This is his problem to handle/fix not yours you leave and then decide what to do, not while you are still there. I know he WILL hit you again and it will get worse and worse.So sorry for you situation. You will be OK. You can't see how but everything happens for a reason. God is Good All the Time. He is with you now. Pray and ask for peace in your soul, he'll know what to lead you to.
2006-08-18 15:55:17 · answer #3 · answered by cindy s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're both going through a lot right now but it's no reason to suddenly start hitting people. It's always better to err on the safe side. Separate for a while until you get your sick child taken care of and then decide from there. Your first priority are your children's safety and yours.
2006-08-18 15:46:38 · answer #4 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I typically would say to leave, but this does seem like an unusual circumstance. Usually these things follow a pattern, but never happened before in 11 years? I think you should defidently seperate for a while and talk to him about this. What you should defidently do is jump your rear into counseling with or w/o him, and insist he come with you b/c you are scared to come home till you are assured that this will NEVER, under any circumstances happen again.
2006-08-18 15:46:32 · answer #5 · answered by foxxyy44u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ofcourse you are in an abusive relation. i'm an indian and i dont know how it happens in your country. but dont decide so soon, talk to him, may be he is in some problem he doesn't wanna share with anyone. may be he is insecure about somthin, may be there is a communication gap between you two.
you said you are getting help. wait atleast for the results and then decide coz your decision will affect your family and the future of your children.
2006-08-18 15:51:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to say, I would give him a benefit of the doubt, especially if he's seeking help. It may even be some medical condition (sometimes, certain kinds of brain disorders cause personality changes and the like). Good luck.
2006-08-18 15:46:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he always had an anger problem or is this something out of the ordinary? If it is totally out of character, you might have your husband get a medical examination as it could be something medically is affecting his behavior. Hopefully he gets an exam soon to dismiss this possibility.
2006-08-18 16:14:49 · answer #8 · answered by yamaha bassman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the counseling is a good start.
He is stressed out over your son needing a heart, among other things and it looks like "he lost it"..........
11 years of marriage, and three sons, one who is sick and he has nver been violent to you?
Stay with him. And work through this....when or if it were time to walk away, you would know it, and not need to ask here.
I will pray for your son and your family.
2006-08-18 15:47:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what if you let him get away with this you leave the window of opportunity open for him to do it again and again and again.......
2006-08-22 15:02:26 · answer #10 · answered by NyteWing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never accept abuse no matter how minor it is! Leave him! There's always that chance it will happen again!
2006-08-18 15:57:50 · answer #11 · answered by ChicaLoca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋