i've been feeling really broody alot lately. and would love another baby. i have a ten month baby and admittedly if it weren't for my mother i would of had a break down. i found it so hard and needed my mothers help 24/7 since the baby father left me but now i feel very confident in raising my baby on my own now and feel i could cope with another one. just one more for my baby to have someone to play with and feel close to. im seriously thinking about getting pregnant again but not too sure whether i should or not. and by the looks of things it looks like i'll be doing it alone (the raising part). i need some helpful advice. that'll make me make the right choice.
2006-08-18 08:32:18 · 20 answers · asked by sweetie 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You aren't crazy girl!! Well, maybe a little *wink*
I think it's your body, and your choice. However, here's what I would consider. One baby is a lot, but 2 is a whole 'nuther ball game. Do you have a steady BF now? Is he reliable to stick around if you get pregnant? Is he willing to accept the other child? What happens if you start having trouble again...is you mom going to be supportive of you?
I don't think you are an idiot, and I think it's very unfair for anyone to say that. I also don't think it's my place to tell you what to do, but I have sort of been there. Well, I had a BF and got pregnant. We got married before the child was born. I had another and they were 17 months apart. it is a lot of work. Double the bottles. Double to formula. Double the diapers.
My suggestion to you would be, if I were in your shoes, to wait until you are on your won totaly in your own apartment, raising your first child on your own income or the assistance you can get. Check with your local WIC office, as they can help with formula, cheese, milk, juice, cereal....
Get yourself a steady job, even if it is a minimum wage job. Try to get a sitter to watch the baby, even if it is your mom, try to pay her at least a little bit. Get used to those sort of things. Maybe even try setting aside the funds you think you might spend on diapers and bottles and formula for a second child. Save that money back and see if you could do it or not. Then, when you are sure things are settled and secure, you can make the choice to have anpother child. It's a big step to take on another responsibility such as a child when on your own. I am concerned about your comment that if it weren't for your mother, you would have had a breakdown. Make sure you are level headed and have things set before taking on a second child....
I was raised sex and children were for marriage and marriage only. I know some don't hold that same thought, so I'm not judging, but it will be a whole lot easier to be supported by a spouse than to try on your own. And by the way...is the baby's daddy paying you support?? Check about that...
And whatever you decide, good luck!!!!
Oh, and hey...see about a day care or setting a play date with another child who lives near you. That's a way to have a play pal for the baby and not put the stress of another child onto you! :-)
2006-08-18 08:58:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
You obviously need something to do but another baby is not it. First look at everyone else involved here. Your 10 month old is dependent on your mom and you are considering a new baby? Your mom is responsible for helping 24/7 and you want to add to that? Do something to improve your life, school, job, mom's group (the baby could have playmates without having a sibling), volunteer. Improve your self image by accomplishing something. It will be so good for you and your baby for you to make something of yourself and be able to provide a wonderful future. If you didn't graduate get into G.E.D. classes right away. Also, people with spouses and plenty of money sometimes choose not to have more than one child because of the time, money, and patience involved in raising kids. Good luck to you!
2006-08-18 10:21:33 · answer #2 · answered by thinkitthrough 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are crazy to think another baby this close to your first born is going to meet your feelings of broodiness and wanting to love, care for and play with another.
Sounds like you have been through a lot this past year. Please enjoy this feeling that you have with your 10 month old, it will change and grow with your baby as they continue to develop and grow. Now that the crisis is over you and your family deserve this time to refocus on your goals in life and the goals you have set for your baby. That will make you an even better mother!
I promise life is even better when you have the father involved in parenting and caring for you and your baby! That is the best time to start planning for child number 2!
2006-08-18 08:44:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO YOU ARE NOT CRAZY! It's very natural for a woman, including young ones, to want children! That's what our bodies are meant to do!
HOWEVER, it doesn't sound like you're ready right now. You should not have another child unless you have a supportive partner (NOT your mother), or you are managing very well on your own. I'm a single mom and can definitely relate to your feelings, but just because you want something emotionally doesn't mean that your ready for it. Be patient sweetheart! Luckily you are young and have plenty of time to figure things out. Take your time to be the best mom you can to the child you already have. Focus on managing what you have now well, so when the right opportunity comes up to have another child, you'll be ready.
2006-08-18 08:47:26 · answer #4 · answered by Shelly W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it. Wait until you have a father that will help you out. Not just for you but for the kids plus you need the financial stability that a 2 income household brings. You think it was hard with the first one if you throw another baby into the mix you will loose your mind. Enjoy the child you have now, spend valuable time with him/her and make the best of being a single parent with only one child. Your second will come in good time just not now.
2006-08-18 08:44:18 · answer #5 · answered by Mommy2Be 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't say when the father of the baby left you and you needed your mom to help you out and that's ok. That's what moms are for, but just the fact that you are asking us here and not your mom. How about waiting till you have a man in your life and a stable relationship. I think you should wait at least a year before even entertaining the idea of another child. give yourself time with this child before enlarging your family.
2006-08-18 08:47:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok im 18 and i have a 7 month old almost 8 months and im pregnant again im married but he is locked up my mother helps but wont help much its even harder for me because i dont have a job soon i will but it is definetly hard to handle a baby while pregnant. yes im happy and sad happy in that my daughter will have someone to play with sad that i dont have the father with me right now they will incarcerate him next wk i hope its less than a yr i would want him back before march. so i wouldnt want to be pregnant if i were you. I was on the patch
2006-08-18 09:39:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definately shouldn't have another baby right now.
You're only 20 years old with an infant, and you're a single mother. A woman should not plan a pregnancy unless she can guarantee that it will be a stable household (two stable parents). You have to have a stable job, a stable income, and you have to be able to afford health insurance for you and your children without government assistance. You should try to finish school first. You need to get your education and you need a decent job. Children aren't everything, and as they grow older your life will just seem more difficult unless you have your education and support from a partner.
2006-08-18 08:39:57 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You do not say whether you are living on your own or still at home with mom. If mom had to help you with this one, you do not need another baby so soon. (or did she help you through the depression?)
You are young, with plenty of time for another child....and to find the right man to have it with.
As for raising a child on your own...lots of us have done it...and so can you!
Also, your body needs more time to recuperate from the first birth...and if you get your pre-preganacy figure back in between babies, it will help keep you from being overweight in the future.
2006-08-18 08:48:33 · answer #9 · answered by shortfrog 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the way i see it is do what u want to do no matter what ne body says! im 20 with a 4 yr old and a 10 month old. i was on the nuvaring and got pregnant when my last one was just 3 months. so now i have a 10 month old and seven months pregnant. its hard but u can handle it. god never gives neone more than they can handle. kids r such a blessing. im also in nursing school and raising my children on my own its hard but worth it
2006-08-19 08:28:28 · answer #10 · answered by brittany 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋