My friend and her husban have been having serious marital problems, months ago maybe even a year ago, she found an unknown phone number in his cell, she questioned it and he explained it as it begin a number of a guy which he was doing "illegal" dealings with. My friend got upset and demanded his husban to call this individual and tell him that their bussiness was over. It seemed to be over, the husban apologiezed and things went ok for a while. Now everytime that they have any type of issues she accuses him of lying about the number and of having an affair, she never called the number to find out who it was and now the number is disconnected. He comes back accusing her of having an affair becuase she does not want to have sex w/him because she is so upset of what happend a while back. I tell her that she needs to get over it, forgive and forget about it. I honestly dont thing he had an affair, but I see how much this is stressing her. Any tips or advice that might help?
2006-08-18 08:27:09 · 6 answers · asked by lightthenight 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To forgive someone that has wrong you in the past needs self-realization that dwelling in the past does not help her marriage at all. She's destroying her marriage by living in the past whether she realize it or not.
Maybe talk to her about where she wants to go with this marriage might help her to focus on present & future events, it might be a good starting point for your marriage counseling.
Ultimately there isn't anything you can do, she has to come to term with everything around her by herself. Hopefully she'll see the light and change her attitude.
2006-08-18 08:46:39 · answer #1 · answered by thsiung 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women usually have good intuition about these things. It sounds like she must of had a suspicion before she saw the number or else it wouldn't have bothered her. So the lack of trust is previous to the phone number thing. The trust needs to be rebuilt. The only way to do that is with open communication, which can only be achieved if both parties are wanting to fix things. If one party don't want to try then the issue is dead.
2006-08-18 08:50:34 · answer #2 · answered by 2by2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree maybe a little break, she needs time to think about it. She needs to decide if she's going to let it ruin her marriage or put it away and forget it. If she decides her marriage is worth fighting for then she REALLY has to let it go. Maybe write her feelings about it all down on paper then burn it as a way of getting rid of it. Good luck.
2006-08-18 08:38:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good grief, what was she doing snooping around his cell phone anyway?? Sounds like she needs to get over some major self-esteem and insecurity issues. Short of going to therapy, I don't know what would help.
2006-08-18 08:52:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a break for sometime.. maybe back at her family's? so that he's outta sight and she has time to see things from a 3rd perspective
2006-08-18 08:34:07 · answer #5 · answered by conspicuous 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't she gota get sick and tired of being sick and tried
2006-08-18 08:35:12 · answer #6 · answered by elizabeth_davis28 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋