I know how petty this might sound. :) My fabulous husband has developed a habit of buying my Christmas or B'day gift online. When they arrive 2 weeks prior to Christmas or my b'day, he's too impatient and just gives me the gift, with little or no fanfare (unwrapped and without telling me this is my gift). I realize how great it is that I have a husband who will put so much thought into such nice gifts. However, I have explained to him a million times how much I love surprises. I have told him it's not as much fun to anticipate Christmas or my Birthday when I know I won't be opening a gift from him on the day he opens mine (our birthdays are close together. Every year we have a shared party).
How can I convince him that as much as I love these gifts, he is diminishing the experience for both of us? Case in point, he had my gift delivered to the house yesterday and he knows how much trouble i went to not to see it. My party is in one week but he showed it to me this morning.
2006-08-18 08:14:52 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When I saw the gift this morning, I made a huge deal out of how nice it was and how thoughtful he is. I played with the golf clubs for 5 minutes and practiced with the putter, dispite the fact that I had just rolled out of bed with 102 degree fever to take my bronchitis medicine. In no way am I an unappreciative wife. But I could do an even better job if he did it when I asked him to.
He has told me he regrets being too impatient on his marriage proposal and not "doing it right."
I just feel he is diminishing the entire experience for both of us. This has been a rought year, so we need all the fun we can get. If any of you have seen the movie "Waiting," you will know what I mean when I say he is spoiling our "penis showing contest." :)
2006-08-18 08:33:06 · update #1
At no time did I mean to imply that this is a dealbreaker issue. I would never consider leaving my husband over something as trivial as gift-giving.
2006-08-18 08:53:21 · update #2
Have you considered that maybe receiving the gift early gives you an opportunity to celebrate the occasion TWICE? :) So you get to have a little gift-giving time when he gives it to you, and then a party or dinner or whatever on the actual day. It sounds like you're feeling some disappointment when the actual birthday or holiday comes along. I suggest making sure that the day itself is special, and not just about the gifts, by planning something special. After all, is the gift what you really look forward to celebrating, or the occasion? Remember that the gift is not what makes the day special, and everything else will work out. :)
2006-08-18 09:02:25 · answer #1 · answered by jennytonic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you try buying your gift for him even earlier. When he presents you with yours say, "Oh, honey are we celebrating today? How wonderful! Wait a sec and let me get your present!" Then give him your gift and CELEBRATE! Put a candle in a Hostess cupcake and make a wish together. Put on the Christmas carols and sing, sing, sing! Appreciate being spontaneous.
My goodness, woman, it is wonderful to have a man that thinks of you in advance and not as an after thought. Don't be so rigid!
2006-08-18 08:32:40 · answer #2 · answered by Chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean to sound harsh but gosh? At least he even remembers to give you gifts. Some men are just not good at this sort of thing no matter how many times you tell them. My husband does this once in a while and I'm still so happy he at least remembered the occasion. I thought it was always "the thought" that counts?
2006-08-18 08:33:40 · answer #3 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are right this is petty but not to be mean or rude just be grateful that you have a husband who loves you enough to think about you in a loving manner such as this. Don't you know that there are women out there who just want a man to tell them that they love them? Don't you know that there are women out there who get beat day in and day out by their husbands? Don't you know that there are women out there who don't know where their husbands are because they are cheating on them? You have been blessed with a man who loves you and buys you gifts and gives them to you in advance. Just sit down and tell your husband that the gifts are great and that you love them and you would someday like to receive them on your birthday if possible. I pray it all works out. Just be grateful your man loves you enough to show it.
2006-08-18 08:28:44 · answer #4 · answered by sharethalove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you should stop being childish and be thankful for the though and love that went into the gift to begin with, and on the other hand if you've told him a milion times...then obviously he's not going to listen if you ask him again because that's the way he is, and you either accept that, or leave him (over something that stupid) It's your call
2006-08-18 08:22:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK, first of all, guys don't give a crap about wrapping paper and all that jazz. My husband can't be bothered, and he feels that occasions like Xmas and Birthdays are just society's decision that he needs to buy me something. So instead, when he realizes I might need something, he buys it for me.
I've learned to get over it. You should too... if you keep hassling him to give you presents YOUR way, he might stop giving them to you at all. Gift givers prefer to hear "thank you" when they give a gift, not "you did it wrong"
2006-08-18 08:22:37 · answer #6 · answered by KB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's proud of finding the right gift for you. I have a boyfriend who used to practically beg me to open presents he had bought me, early. It was kind of annoying, but if you look at it from a different angle, it's kind of cute in a childish way. Kind of like a toddler who's proud of the doo-doo he made in the toilet and wants you to come and see.
2006-08-18 08:24:01 · answer #7 · answered by April M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That just interesting.
I am someone just like that. I can't help it. I get something for someone, I want to let them have it right off the bat. I can't hide things from others.
Buying and getting something for someone is to show them the feelings toward them. And if I got the gift right, I expect them to be joyful and happy. I want to see them being happy. I can't wait to see them happy. I just can't..
2006-08-18 08:24:07 · answer #8 · answered by Just_curious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think with all the problems that wives has to put up with...getting your presents early is nothing to complain about. You sound like a whiner and probably don't deserve your husband. So SHUT UP!
BTW - I ALWAYS give presents early.
2006-08-18 08:22:12 · answer #9 · answered by doc 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know! Mine is the same way! But I thank God he loves me enough to do this!
Just love him for the thought! For the party - you could always wrap it up and then open it with him!
2006-08-18 08:24:16 · answer #10 · answered by Blond Logic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋